


How Sarek Of Vulcan Destroyed My Life

by AnJoanGrey



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AnJoan Grey typical setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome! Jim, BAMF Sarek, Because there is always hope, Dom! Spock, Dominant! Spock, Genius! Montgomery Scott, Jim is very in love with Chris Pike, Lessons of Submission at all levels, M/M, Master! Spock, Near-death situation (Jim Kirk), No Character Death, Non-sexual dominance-submission, Realistic descriptions of a D/s relationship, Reasons to laugh and reasons to cry, Reference to Incest, Reference to vicious beating, Scotty is the real hero of this story, Sub! Leonard McCoy, Submissive! Leonard McCoy, Very Severe Angst, Very smart and resourceful crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-12-24 16:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 78,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12016233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnJoanGrey/pseuds/AnJoanGrey
Summary: Spock wanted Leonard. He had always wanted him and, one day, he just took him, without thinking of consequences. Sarek was not pleased. He had higher expectations from his son, who always, always, always disobeyed him.Spock tires to make amends and finally manages to get his Father approve of Leonard. The road is complicated and twisted; one young human, Spock’s colleague, Montgomery Scott, catches the eye and attentions of Sarek. Beings are acquired; enemies turn into lovers, darkness passes into light; the demon AnJoan Grey, who had sought to destroy them for ages, falls at Sarek’s feet, defeated. Such happiness! You have everything, but one morning you wake up and all of it is gone.





	1. The Claiming of Leonard McCoy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vidhi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vidhi/gifts).



> You may smile reading the above title and description, but it summarizes quite well the truth. I once was a happy, balanced person, with a peaceful, bright life; now I am but the shadow of the being I used to be, a disgrace to myself and my own values, I have lost the final battle with life and with myself. But this is a long story, the real story of what happened to Spock, Leonard, Montgomery Scott and myself ever since the day Sarek stepped all over our souls.  
> This will not be a traditional story. I will share all the details of our everyday life, the happiness, the heartache and the devastation and how we dealt with everything. As the story grows, you will see the real glimpses of darkness creeping through the words I write, and perhaps will get to deal with your own wounds and pains, just as I, the author behind AnJoan Grey, try to do, by confronting the demon which destroyed me.

It had happened so easily. The four friends – Scotty, Spock, Leonard and Jim – used to spend their evenings together in the cafeteria at their private table. Jim loved their company and flirted with each of them at a time, but never very seriously, since his one and only secret love, unrequited – because such was his life – was not on the same ship. Therefore, there was no harm in having a little fun, even though Jim did not ever cross the threshold of words. He was just playing.

They were having a really good time that evening. Jim had had three beers; Scotty – the same amount of alcohol, except not beer, but scotch, because the man had a reputation to keep. Leonard had combined them and made a mess out of everything. His head was already spinning; luckily, he had a miraculous hypospray for that problem in his pocket. He did not want to use it just yet.

Scotty wrapped one arm around Jim’s neck.

“Tell me in all honesty, Jones…”

“My name is James.”

“Yeah? Okay. So. Tell me in all honesty. Do you find Leonard Dr. Skeleton McCoy cuter than me? Because I would like to kill him, in that case. You know, a proper challenge and all that.”

“He does not find me cuter, you ridiculous Scotsman. He finds me hotter!” Leonard announced proudly as if he could actually read Jim’s mind.

“Mind you, you’re anythin’ than hot, yer’ as cold as ice, you and that iceberg over there,” Scotty exclaimed, pointing towards Spock who – although he was also drinking alcohol – was not drunk in the least and he was surveying his friends with curiosity.

“We are not cold, as you say, Scotty, we are just hard to get, isn’t that right, Mr. Spock?” Leonard said cockily.

“Impossible to get, I would say,” Scotty burst out laughing. “Good thing I am focusing on Jones!”

“James.”

“Right. James.” And Scotty pulled Jim closer.

Jim discreetly tried to unwrap Scotty from around his neck, not managing it very well because his Scottish friend was extremely clingy; it was okay to play with words but he disliked touching, no matter what everyone believed. He belonged to a single person even if that person did not want him – and, well… being touched by other hands… it was just not right. In his attempt to disentangle Scotty from himself, he negligently pushed Leonard straight into Spock’s arms.

“Whoa now, you two!!” Leonard glared at his two playful friends. “Are you trying to get me killed?!”

“Do not exaggerate, Mr. Doctor. It is not like any of you, icebergs, are going to melt or something. You both have the same temperature!”

“What is Mr. Scott trying to imply, Doctor?” Spock inquired, taking Leonard’s hand and holding it against his own cheek. “Your body temperature is that of 36.3 degrees Celsius.”

The scientific observation made Jim and Scotty laugh like crazy – really, Spock was so amusing!! As if having plotted this, they crowded Leonard and Spock in the corner of the sofa bench, making sure Leonard was completely plastered by Spock’s side – who also disliked touching – and continued to giggle and laugh like two teenagers.

Instead of getting upset, Spock pulled Leonard closer and wrapped one arm around his waist so they would be more comfortable. Given the degree of intoxication, it was unlikely Jim and Scotty would release them from there anytime soon.

“The drinking habits of humans do not cease to astonish me,” Spock murmured.

“Yeah, they are just… really you two! Move aside!!”

“Leave them be, Doctor, they are too intoxicated for us to reason with them. I will take advantage of this opportunity to ask you something. Are the Captain and Mr. Scott in a romantic relationship?”

“I do not think so, even though that would be a very good idea! Jim has a crush on the… um. I shouldn’t say.”

“On someone else?”

“Yeah. A very inaccessible Someone Else.”

“Then why does Mr. Scott attempt to bite the Captain’s neck?”

“Because that is one half mad Scotsman.”

“It is very fortunate that the Vulcan courting habits are not similar to those of the Humans. A bite on the neck inflicted by a Vulcan could have very serious consequences.”

“Oh? Let me see that! Here, I am offering you my neck,” Leonard giggled arching his head in his direction.

“Doctor, do not flirt with me,” Spock said on a slightly warning tone.

“Awww, I am officially heartbroken. And pray, how do Vulcans flirt?”

Spock turned Leonard’s head towards him and brushed his fingers over the Doctor’s meld points; the contact was electric but superficial, like the discharge of static energy their minds not actually connecting.

“Great, Vulcans flirt by electrocuting their partners,” Leonard mumbled. As his communicator buzzed just then, Leonard grabbed it to read the message. “Folks, move aside, I have got an emergency. Sorry we cannot flirt any longer, Mr. Spock.”

Spock turned Leonard’s head towards him brutally, for a mere second. His fingers went straight to the meld points, firmly; there was little time and the place was crowded, but now was now, the time had come and he had waited for far too long for a good occasion; he would not let it slide, he would not let him go. [ **Leonard McCoy, I am claiming you as mine**.]

Leonard looked at him with confused eyes; he did not understand what had happened, was he so drunk that he had begun hearing voices?! Gosh! And now he had this emergency he had to attend to. He got the hypospray out of his pocket and injected it onto himself, to be able to function. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Spock who seemed to have frozen on the spot, just looking at him with dark-chocolate eyes and seemingly waiting for a reaction.

“Fine!” Leonard exclaimed, and quite amazingly, Spock smiled! Okay, things were getting weird right now but he really had to go. “Move aside already, you, lazy brats!” he scolded Jim and Scotty who finally allowed him free passage – and Leonard fled the room.

“Well now!” Scotty exclaimed – despite of being that drunk, he still had his brain in functioning order and possessed extensive knowledge of Vulcan culture to fully realize what Spock had done. “I wish you a lot of luck, Mr. Spock! That ain’t gonna be easy; you may earn his love, but his submission – that’s another thing. A nasty thing.”

“Thank you, Mr. Scott. I am quite confident I shall obtain both his love and his submission.”

“Oh, kinky!!” Jim exclaimed, hearing only bits of the conversation.

“Come on, Jimmy boy, I am taking you to bed.”

“Okay cool. But you can’t stay too, I am sorry.”

“Don’t you think I know that already?” Scotty sighed and proceeded to drag Jim along. Once more, he vowed not to let that brat drink so much. He could not hold his liquor, really now…

 

From that day on, Spock started to observe Leonard carefully – he needed to know everything about him; needless to say, he already knew the doctor’s public record by heart, but he also started observing his gestures, his reactions, the way he walked and talked, because everything was important, every tiny detail. He would watch him intensely, especially during their common dinners, to the point of which he had started to exasperate the doctor on a whole new level.

Just because he could not help himself, Scotty had proceeded to send Spock emails with Terran love literature, starting with _Romeo and Juliet_ – because one just had to read Shakespeare – and ending with a bit of fan-fiction and even _Brokeback Mountain_ – just to be on the safe side, since they were both males. Spock would read them all and reply to Scotty’ emails with extensive 20-pages reviews of each book.

“You need to draft an action-plan, Mr. Spock, if you are to woo him.”

“ _Woo_ him? I do not need to woo him. I will have him and – “

“You ain’t gonna have nothin’ just by glaring at him!”

“All in due time.”

“Time’s a wastin’! Someone else will get him from you.”

“Examples?”

“You kno’… his assistant, Christine, is really, really trying. Also, I am single, don’t know how to tell you this…”

“I would like to see you try.”

“Nah, just kiddin’. Anyway, make your move, man.”

“In time.”

“You’re an idiot,” Scotty said decidedly, looking at a fairly drunk Leonard who was attempting to wrap one arm around Christine’s delicate waist and she was not saying _no_ to that.

Spock turned to look and his blood ran cold. He took a good hold of Leonard’s wrist and pulled him on the bench near him.

“You have had too much to drink, Doctor.”

“What an excellent, scientific observation!! Also, none of your business.”

Spock held his wrists easily with one hand, while his other hand rested on his cheek, on the meld points. He sent a wave of clear, cold energy through Leonard’s nervous system, immediately removing the clouds of alcohol intoxicating him; the result was quite a brutal coming-back to reality for Leonard, without the softness of a hypospray; it felt raw and sharp and Leonard hated it.

“What the hell do you want, you damn hobgoblin?!”

“Phase two,” Spock said calmly. **[You are mine, Leonard McCoy, I have claimed you. You shall no longer touch any other beings unless for medical assistance in regard to your medical profession.]**

“Whatever that means, you, nasty robot, now are you done with your phases?”

“Submission,” Spock said, his fingers still on Leonard’s face.

“Are you done now?” Leonard inquired, not saying yes or no, and not actually realizing how the powerful words spoken by Spock were embedding deep in his consciousness.

“I am done.”

“Good, ‘cause I swear you have been eating way too many chocolates and you are speaking an impressive amount of nonsense…”

Spock sent a discrete wave of pain through the incipient bond lingering in Leonard’s mind.

“You will not be disrespectful towards me,” Spock said warningly.

It was so unexpected, that Leonard lost his balance and felt he was going to faint; Spock’s strong arms supported him immediately. But Leonard was too upset now and too surprised by the unexplained pain he had experienced, so he removed himself quite abruptly from Spock’s arms, not realizing what was happening – and rushed to the Medical Bay, to give himself a full examination and see what the hell was going on. Was he having an aneurysm for God’s sake? Damn that hobgoblin!!! There it went, that pain, again. Fuck! But nothing registered on his instruments, there must be malfunctioning, he should ask Scotty to run a diagnostic on them in the morning.

He spent the evening in the Medical bay and finally texted Jim to meet him for dinner.

“Wassup, Bones? Man, you look beat.”

“Nothing much. It is just your First Officer is acting very weirdly recently and annoys the crap out of me.”

“Life as usual,” Jim laughed. “Anyway, he is not with you now… why?”

“Why the hell should he be with me?!”

“Dunno… rumours say… I mean… he looks possessive of you lately.”

“You’ve had too much to drink again, Jimmy boy. Anyway. What’s with you and Scotty?” he decided to change the subject. For once, let Jim feel uncomfortable too and see how that felt!

“Bones…” Jim said apologetically, placing one hand on Leonard’s arm. “He’s cute and adorable and he has the brains of Newton and Einstein together, but you know my heart belongs to…”

“To Mr. Stupid and Senseless, yes, we know, we know…” Leonard said, his temples pulsating with pain. “Gosh, my head is killing me.”

“Bones? Bones? Bones? You okay? I am taking you to Medical.”

“That’s not necessary, kid, I have just run a complete check-up on myself, I thought I was having a stroke… I think my diagnostic console is malfunc…” Leonard stopped mid-phrase when Jim removed his hand from his arm and the pain stopped. “…tioning.”

“I am taking you to your quarters, then, perhaps you only need to have a good night’s sleep,” Jim said genuinely worried for his friend who never had any health issues whatsoever. He stood up and took his arm.

As the pain returned, Leonard finally managed to put two and two together and removed Jim’s arm.

“Thanks, but I don’t need you to tuck me in, mom,” he said jokingly, just to chase Jim’s worries away – while his own worries remained. He just left to his own quarters and locked himself inside. There was a lot of thinking to do. But strangely, he felt agitated and restless; one first attempt to take a sleeping pill resulted only in more agitation.

He picked his communicator.

“Hey, Spock.”

“Good evening, Doctor, what is the matter?”

“Could you come to my room for a second? I am not feeling well.”

“Perhaps I should bring the medical teams if you are feeling ill, Doctor, I fail to see how I could be of any assistance…”

“No, it’s just… come, okay? Please.”

“I am on my way.”

Spock arrived shortly and Leonard let him in.

“How may I help, Doctor?” Spock said coldly, his hands clasped behind his back whilst studying Leonard intently and trying to suppress a consuming need to rush and hold him as instinct dictated him.

“I think I am coming down with something… whenever I touch people, I just… feel sick… and I cannot seem to pinpoint the cause. Moreover, now I cannot even sleep and tomorrow morning I have a very complicated surgery scheduled… any chance you could help me?”

“Help you… sleep?”

“Yeah. With that… Vulcan thing you do.”

“With a Meld, you mean,” Spock corrected him, because melds were very precious jewels of the Vulcan culture, and well… calling them Vulcan things… it was just not right.

“A Meld, okay, yeah.”

“Lie down,” Spock ordered, and Leonard felt his stomach clench for a moment – or was it his heart, because of a sudden burst of emotions? Hard to tell. He was so tired he could no longer think straight, so he just obeyed him and lay down on the bed.

Spock touched his forehead with three fingers and immediately after that, sleep – sweet and restful, engulfed Leonard.

Spock removed his own blue shirt and lay down on Leonard’s couch to look after him; his Chosen One was not well, he could not leave him alone by himself; he made sure to signal his location to the Captain and leave the door open, so as not to jeopardise Leonard’s or his reputation. Such things mattered.

 

Leonard woke up at 5:30, his usual hour and, as he sat up, he was astonished beyond belief to see Spock sleeping on the couch near him. Good God, had the hobgoblin been watching over him?

“Hi,” he said sheepishly.

“Hello, Doctor, how are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you. Now I can finally start working on my mystery illness with a clear mind. I’d better get on to it, hopefully it is not something contagious.”

Spock did not comment; he merely put his blue shirt back on and went to the bathroom to wash up a bit.

“Will you accompany me for breakfast, Doctor?”

“Yeah, sure,” Leonard said. Spock did stay with him all night – how amazing was that – so joining him for breakfast was the least he could do.

A wave of joy and contentedness washed over Leonard’s consciousness. Euphoria! Gosh, and yesterday all he felt was pain. There was something very strange happening, he was sure, at the level of the main neurotransmitters in his brain, he would have to measure the levels at once.

Their usual cafeteria table had already been filled with cookies, burgers, sandwiches, cupcakes and candy, mostly unhealthy and sugary and everything in very large quantities. Jim was having a feast and did not want to hear a lecture.

“James T. Kirk!!!” Leonard exclaimed.

“Leonard Bones McCoy!” Jim answered back, trying to eat as many donuts as possible in record time, before Leonard snatched them all away.

Scotty, who was sipping his tea delicately, pointed towards the free bench where there was plenty of room for Leonard and Spock.

Spock sat down, picking some fruit for himself.

“I am upset. And mad at you! Yes, at you, Spock. I have just ordered Jim not to eat all those junk foods and you, his First Officer, do nothing to prevent him!”

“Doctor, let me remind you that this very scene takes place every single morning. Each day you order him not to eat donuts and hamburgers and each day he does, and each day you order him to do something to burn at least 500 kcal in compensation, and he burns at least 1552 kcal. I fail to see how I could be of any assistance.”

Leonard sighed. Spock was right.

“Sit down, please, Doctor,” Spock said, pointing to the empty place near him.

And Leonard did.

“This goes well,” Scotty said with a smug smile, his mouth full of cookies.

“It could go better, but I want to see some progress first,” Spock replied calmly. He was rather happy to be able to talk to Scotty about this – and so openly – he was grateful his co-worker and friend had such extensive knowledge about the Vulcan culture and customs, he should investigate how this came to be at some point.

“Okay, you two. You’d better start explaining what the hell is going on here,” Leonard snapped at Jim and Scotty. How did you produce such an ample amount of food? I control the programs of the replicators and I am quite sure I did not program donuts!”

Jim and Scotty exchanged a guilty look.

“We might have tested a new replicator software…”

“Mr. Spock, is this correct? Have they implemented a new software without your knowledge – ahem, Mr. Science Officer?”

“I shall inform you of the validity of this statement in a few moments, Doctor,” Spock said, going to the replicator and opening the console which allowed him access towards the electronic system. For a few moments, he worked on the machine, after which he carefully closed the access panel so no one would get hurt. “Yes, Doctor. The software has been modified.”

“These two!!!” Scotty exclaimed, pointing towards Spock and Leonard. “These two are gonna un-program our food, Jimmy!”

“Yeah, it seems so. Mr. Spock, do not uninstall my donuts.”

“Spock, are you on my side, yeah?” Leonard snapped at him.

“I am on your side, Leonard, we are sharing the same bench.”

“I believe you know what I mean, Mr. Spock. But fine, if you do not want to help me, I shall issue an official order from my office and be done with you three!!!”

With those angry words, Leonard stood up to leave, but Spock caught his wrist.

“I am going to undo the damage they did to the software replicator. Now sit down.”

“Since when are you telling me to sit down?!!”

“For every word I say, you say ten more, it is really getting tiresome, Leonard,” Spock said, visibly upset and sending a wave of pain through their fragile bond, a bond Leonard was not yet aware of.

“And what do you want now, hobgoblin, to start uttering _Yes, Commander, As you order, Commander?_ ”

“I would like to see that,” Jim murmured to Scotty, conspiratorially.

“I simply expect you to sit down when I am asking you to sit down,” Spock said on a subduing, yet annoyed tone.

“Since fucking when can you just order me around before my shift even begins?!”

Spock sent a stronger wave of pain through the bond, watching with sadness as Leonard durned pale – the Doctor was probably too angry to even be aware of the amount of pain he was experiencing.

“Whoa now, dude, sit down already,” Scotty told Leonard worriedly.

Leonard sank on the bench near Spock, exhausted, his eyes teary because of the pain traversing his head. It was the worst migraine ever!

“Mr. Spock, put him out of his misery already,” Scotty suggested, feeling sorry for his friend and hoping they would reach a resolution soon.

“Perhaps you wish you were in his place, Mr. Scott? Sometimes I do wonder if that were a somewhat better idea, because I am getting tired of this. Leonard, you are not being receptive. I would rather not teach you submission by using pain, but I am not going to refrain from using it if that is what it takes. Now, if you require my assistance to deprogram the replicator, meet me here after lunch and we shall do it together.”

“What need is there for you to teach me _submission_? Aren’t you being just a bit weird here?” Leonard managed to speak.

“Do not talk back to me,” Leonard, Spock said sharply, as new shivers of pain flew towards his intended.

Leonard took a deep breath trying to endure the pain to the best of his abilities – not yet realizing that there was a connection between it and Spock himself.

“Much better,” Spock concluded – and that instant, waves of comfort and well-being flooded Leonard, replacing the previously caused pain. He wrapped one arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer, and Leonard, too scared and shocked to be able to react in his usual manner, just… let him.

“Now, tell me please. Do you wish for us to simply uninstall the malicious software they installed, or replace it with a completely different menu?”

“I did have a different menu in mind… I just did not have the time to properly go through it…”

“We will do this together after lunch. I shall come pick you up from the Medical Bay at 13:00 hours.”

“That’s a deal,” Leonard agreed.

Scotty and Jim exchanged a contented look. They thought it was perfectly normal for Leonard to be in Spock’s arms; what was unusual – was the fact that they were not fighting, at least for a couple of minutes.

“Why don’t we, um… go to… for example… Engineering?” Scotty suggested to Jim innocently, because it seemed Spock and Leonard needed a moment and Jim was just staring at them as if they were a TV-show.

“Huh? Yes. Yes.”

Spock kept Leonard in his arms after their two friends left and it was immensely rewarding at all levels. It was as nourishment for Spock and he made sure Leonard felt all the good and wonderful things it was possible for him to broadcast through the fragile bond.

“They don’t even care about what I say!!” Leonard had a final burst of anger directed towards his absent friends.

“I do.”

“Like hell you do. I know you stayed with me last night probably because Jim ordered you to do so.”

“Last night I was off-duty, Leonard, if you remember correctly, and I do not take orders from the Captain when I am off-duty, unless there is an emergency. I stayed with you because I wanted to.” With those words, Spock pulled him even closer.

Leonard turned his head to look into his eyes, their heads were very close now, he could feel the heat radiating from Spock’s skin.

“W-what are you doing?”

Spock looked deeply into his eyes, caressing his shoulder with his thumb, with an almost tender gesture.

Leonard smiled… oh good Lord, Spock… liked him?! Spock was touching him!!

“Um… Spock, I… thanks for having stayed with me last night. I really appreciate it.”

“It was my pleasure, Leonard.”

It was just then that Leonard realized that Spock was calling him _Leonard_! Nobody did that!

Spock released him from the tight embrace and went to the Bridge as there was less than one minute remaining until the alpha-shift began.

 

Spock was pleased. He had earned a small victory and it was important. Everyone around noticed Spock’s ‘good mood’ for whenever he was so, everything went well on the Starship Enterprise; he would deal with Scotty’s malfunctioning tools, with Jim’s endless paperwork, with whatever required patience and hard work. When the lunch-break moment arrived, he headed to the Medical Bay and calmly entered inside, to find Leonard in his office. There was something about Spock, about the way he walked, a certain self-confidence; Leonard instantly felt a flow of good energy as soon as Spock opened the door.

“Ah, Mr. Spock! Good to see you. I need to speak to you, I have been thinking about the pain I have been experiencing yesterday and today and I seem to have pinpointed to cause. Okay, this is gonna sound very crazy but hear me out, okay?”

“I am listening,” Spock said calmly, sitting down on the couch in Leonard’s office.

“Okay, here it goes. I am suffering for an unexplained illness, which manifests itself through pain at certain moments when you are around, but there are also exceptions to this as it does not happen in 100% of the instances – for example now I feel fine… So, I concluded I suffer from a severe form of allergic reaction to yourself. Please do not laugh, I am serious here. There’s our daily banter and all, and then there is this thing. You think I am crazy, right?”

“Not in the least, Doctor.”

“So… what do you think of all this?”

“I think you are starting to have a good perspective upon the entire situation, _our_ situation. Do you wish for me to help you remember everything?”

“You think I am still missing some bits of information?”

“You are not _missing_ information per se, you have just… misplaced it. Sit down near me, we shall meld.”

“Okay,” Leonard said mildly and sat down near him, turning towards him and closing his eyes in a childish pose and waiting for Spock’s fingers to land on his cheek.

“Eyes open. Always during a meld, unless we sleep.”

“Oh… there’s a protocol about those things, okay,” Leonard said opening his eyes and gazing at him.

“A very complex protocol, but we will come to that in time.”

Spock melded with him superficially – just enough to bring forth to his memory the claim and the _no-touching_ restriction. He waited calmly for Leonard to react.

Leonard’s eyes widened, he was just staring at Spock in disbelief! Spock had claimed him?! He had placed a claim on him, for the love of everything which was holy!! Why? God, why?!

“Talk, Leonard,” Spock said, removing the hand from his face.

“…Spock… why? Why would you lay a claim on me? You don’t even… _like_ me,” Leonard managed to say, struggling with every word. “You can barely stand me, for all it matters.”

“Do you believe I would have claimed you, Leonard, if I had not _liked_ you, as you humans trivially put it? Anyway. The claim can still be undone at this point, even though it would… break me.”

“Huh? Undone? So, you like me? Ohgodohgodohgod! So now… you are like my boyfriend?”

“I am not your… _boyfriend_ ,” Spock said closing his eyes for a moment.

Leonard felt like an idiot. The Vulcan culture had so many complicated subtleties, he did not even want to think… but he had to think because he’d be damned… he wanted to keep Spock!!!

“Let’s not rush with the undoing…” he suggested. “Better yet, why don’t you repeat to me those rules or instructions, or however you want to call them, so that I get them right.”

“Let me get this right too, Leonard, because there is no place for misunderstanding here. You actually and consciously accept my claim and require to know what your instructions are.”

“Yeah. I mean. Yes, Spock.”

“Very well. The first instruction is not to touch other people, except when exerting your profession. Your second instruction is not to talk back to me.”

“Damn, that second instruction sur is difficult. I may have to find new means of annoying you! Hey, I am only kidding, okay?”

Spock gave him a faint smile, which was rare since he was not usually smiling; he stood up and invited Leonard to come along.

“Come, let us get over with the replicator resequencing, my break will soon expire.”

Leonard went with him without commenting, feeling his entire being brighten.

“Is it you? This good feeling? Or am I just falling in love?”

Spock stopped in the middle of the crowded corridor, to see his eyes.

“Are there real chances for you to fall in love with me, Leonard?”

“There are,” Leonard confessed and he actually blushed, looking downwards.

“This _good feeling_ ,” Spock resumed after a moment in which he had calmed his own racing heart - “is something we construct together, Leonard. And when the foundation is ready, you shall receive a beautiful, high bond and be mine forever.”

 

_I have their memories and it so hurts to put them on paper. My role in the story is yet to be unveiled, but I know everything about anyone and it is so painful to remember all their dreams about <forever> when I know perfectly well that there is no such thing. From the depths of hell, AnJoan Grey begs you, my reader, to stay away from darkness! Remember all things are impermanent and do not rush to make promises you cannot keep. Make amends today for one promise you did not keep._


	2. Stolen

“I cannot believe it myself, but I believe we are actually… together,” Leonard whispered softly towards Spock, not actually capable of eating his own dinner.

Spock lifted his eyes from the plate to look at Leonard.

“You are troubled,” Spock noticed.

“Spock, I… am human. One moment I am struggling with loneliness; the other one, I am bonded…”

“We have not bonded yet. What has happened, technically, is that I lay a claim on you, which is what you may call an _intention_ , an engagement, an incipient bond which can be undone if you so wish.”

“I do not wish to undo it, Spock… please do not misunderstand me. I just… need a bit of time to adjust… I hope you can understand me…”

“When you formulate it in such an elegant way, how could I refuse you anything? I will grant you the necessary time. There will be more rules, however.”

“And when am I going to hear them? Or you’ll just let me figure them out?”

“I would rather not make you a list of rules. I am counting on your exceptional intelligence.”

“Thanks,” Leonard blushed. Gosh, it was official, he had devolved into a teenager with a crush! He rubbed his eyes, he was very tired but he wanted to stay with Spock a bit more; Scotty and Jim were on the other side of the table, chatting away and eating and not minding them in the least.

“You are tired,” Spock observed.

“Yeah… Had three shifts… one major surgery… it has been a tough day.”

“Are you going to bed?”

“I do not know,” Leonard murmured, his pupils slightly dilating and gazing at Spock. “Am I?”

“I do not know. Experience has shown it is not wise to tell a doctor what to do, when it comes to his own health.”

Leonard smiled. Damn that sweet hobgoblin!

“I am not asking for your medical advice, you thick-headed robot, I am asking for your permission,” he added blushing even more and feeling really unsure about how he was supposed to behave.

“I am pleased to notice that you observe the new rule of asking for my permission before leaving my presence, a rule which I have yet to mention.”

“Yeah, well… sometimes I do figure out a few things.”

“I am pleased. You may go, Leonard, have a restful night.”

Leonard felt sad all of a sudden. He had hoped… what the hell he had hoped for?

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, I… I was hoping… that you would…”

“Yes? Talk clearly, Leonard, I do not understand you.”

“He wants you to take him to your room, Mr. Spock,” Scotty translated, which made Leonard turn completely red – and Spock frown.

“I am very sorry to disappoint you all if that is the case, but I shall not disrespect Leonard in such a manner.”

Scotty and Jim froze, while Leonard stood up. He was trying to get over the humiliation but it was damn hard.

“Contrary to what our friends here believe, Leonard, I am _not_ your boyfriend. And if I am to take you to my quarters, that will be after a mature bond is in place and our relationship is logged properly in Starfleet’s database.”

Leonard took a deep breath, he pushed Spock aside and left the room. He had had lovers and relationships and even a marriage before; people accepted and rejected him, as life went by; but to suffer such a brutal and humiliating rejection – and that too, in front of his friends, it was just too much.

It was Spock’s turn to rub his eyes.

“I cannot understand the behaviour of humans in certain moments.”

“That is because you are an idiot,” Scotty told him boldly – he was probably the only person from the entire human race who dared to talk to him in that manner.

“Why?” Spock inquired – perhaps Scotty was right and he actually _was_ an idiot.

“Because you just broke your intended’s heart.”

“How have I done that? Please elaborate. Because I refused to spend the night with him? I am not a one-night stand person, Mr. Scott. Vulcans only choose one partner and that is forever.”

“As I said, yer an idiot. He only wanted to be in your presence, he did not want to get into yer pants.”

Spock’s eyes darkened. He stood up and before leaving, he turned towards Scotty:

“Thank you for your input, Mr. Scott.”

After which, he left.

Scotty poured himself another glass of scotch.

“I call him an idiot and he thanks me. I think he really IS an idiot.”

Jim shook his head and resumed gazing at his phone wallpaper picture.

 

The next morning, Spock came to the cafeteria for breakfast at his usual hour, to find only two of his friends sitting there and eating the healthy things he had previously reprogrammed into the replicator unit. Leonard should be pleased, he thought.

“Where is Leonard?” he inquired, looking around.

“He had to perform an inventory of the Medical Bay supplies and he skipped breakfast,” Jim said, giving Spock an accusatory look.

“But his shift…”

“Commenced earlier than usual, with my permission,” Jim added sharply. He just wanted to grab Spock by his hair and hit him with his head against the nearest console.

“I see. I will be on the Bridge, Captain,” Spock said stiffly and left in a hurry.

His entire shift dragged away, he could not wait for an opportunity to talk to Leonard. Even more so, Jim assigned him way more tasks than usual and he nearly missed his own lunch break in an attempt to finish everything.

He finally managed to go to the Medical Bay.

“Doctor. May I have a moment?”

“Certainly, Commander, what brings you to me?” Leonard inquired on the coldest of tones.

Spock took a good hold of his hands, all of a sudden, ignoring everyone in the large room and focusing his entire attention on Leonard.

“Leonard. I am very sorry, I apologize. Please forgive me. It had not been my intention to hurt you.”

Leonard suddenly became aware of all the people staring at them with curiosity; Spock looked vulnerable, his eyes had an almost… fragile expression; they could not continue this conversation in the middle of the Medical Bay.

“Let us go to my office…”

Spock followed him and sat down, extending one hand towards Leonard and coaxing him to sit down as well, near him.

Leonard sat down, still keeping a respectful distance, because, well… Spock had made it clear what he thought of their getting… closer physically.

Spock took his hand and placed it close to his heart.

“Mr. Scott was right; there are important differences between our races; I have claimed you according to the Vulcan culture, but I have completely disregarded the fact that you are human and you think and see and… feel differently. In the Vulcan culture, it is a grave sign of disrespect to spend the night in the house – or in the room of your intended mate, unless there is illness involved. That is what I meant, but you understood otherwise and I am sorry. Leonard, I did not mean to hurt you.”

“I thought…”

“I know what you thought, Leonard. I _do want_ , know this and be sure of it. I… _crave_ for you! I cannot wait for you to be mine. Completely. Here… see for yourself,” he added connecting a light meld.

Leonard marvelled at the intensity of Spock’s feelings, it was like a burning fire… and Spock was fighting hard his own urge to tighten the bond, to make it brighter, to complete the construction of the bridge connecting them!

“Do it, Spock…” he murmured.

Spock wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

“Leonard McCoy, no more games. Your life and mine will merge, are you ready to accept this?”

“Will it be forever?”

“Forever. And should you grow to detest me…”

“Nono, Spock, do not say that. I cannot detest you. It is an impossibility. The other way around could be true…”

Spock fought really hard to control his own impulses; he disengaged the meld and stood up, walking through the room to calm his raging emotions.

“So, you changed your mind,” Leonard murmured dejectedly, feeling that Spock did not want to _do it_ , to complete the bond.

“I have not changed my mind, Leonard, I am not shallow. However, I believe we need more time to talk; I cannot talk during melding, it is difficult; Leonard, please have no more doubts. Trust me and my longing for you. Grant me your trust now, because later I will ask for your submission and if you do not trust me completely, it will hurt.”

“Spock, please understand that it is rather difficult for me to accept the fact that a gorgeous, splendid creature like you could possibly want someone like me – and that too, for life… it is no small thing! As for trust – I trust you, I think it is myself that I do not trust.”

Spock lifted Leonard’s hand with one finger and kissed his lips. It was not actually erotic, but rather deeply possessive and asserting… ownership over he being he was kissing.

“Does… this wash your doubt away?”

Leonard gazed at him for a short moment, taking a deep breath.

“Again?” he murmured, trying his luck.

Spock kissed him again, more violently this time, holding him closer against him, almost biting him. Leonard let out a small moan, his eyes were shining…

“… so you see, Leonard… it will be worth waiting and even more so, it will be worth giving me what I need. I will give in return.”

“Whatever you say, Master,” Leonard murmured, leaning his head on Spock’s shoulder.

“What… did you call me?” Spock asked, feeling as if everything in the entire universe had suddenly grown still.

Leonard was suddenly alert, having the distinct impression he had fucked everything up.

“I… I don’t know, I am sorry… It just felt right…”

Spock felt his own soul starting to burn, as if on fire… it was extremely difficult to endure!

“Spock, I am sorry… is it completely wrong? Did I offend you? I apo-“

“Did you mean it, Leonard? And moreover, are you ready to prove it to me?”

“I did… Master,” he said, aware of every letter he was now pronouncing. “I am yours. You may take from me whatever you want.”

Spock fought his own instincts desperately – yes, he wanted to have him right now!

“A few days. A few more days I need, to see, to convince myself.”

Leonard’s soul, on the contrary, felt light like the softest feather! Giving in to Spock, giving him everything, seemed so right. It was the way things should have been all along, he felt…

“Sadly, my break is over and the Captain has sent me eight text messages during it. He is really not himself today, or perhaps I am not myself…”

Leonard straightened his back.

“Would… you do me the honour of having dinner with me tonight after shift, Master?” Leonard asked in a low voice, looking straight into his eyes.

“I would love that, Leonard,” Spock replied, his voice charged with unspoken emotions.

“Good. I will come pick you up from your quarters at eight.”

 

When Leonard chimed, Spock was ready and quite impatiently waiting for him. He opened the door to find an exceptionally looking Leonard, wearing his dress uniform, freshly shaven and smelling wonderfully; he was so beautiful and Spock wanted him so badly, that he could barely control his thirst.

And then, just like that, Leonard offered him a small, white rose, smiling shyly.

Spock took the flower together with Leonard’s fingers and they remained still for a moment, in the hallway, gazing at one another. Spock was absolutely speechless, which was very new for him, because just as Leonard always had something smart to comment about everything, Spock also had some logical conclusion or hypothesis about most of the things… until now.

“We may need to unfreeze from this position if we are to have dinner,” Leonard said.

Spock took a moment to just run his fingers through Leonard’s hair, softly. He then leaned his head down and kissed him delicately.

This time, Leonard responded to the kiss with everything that was alive in himself!

Spock broke the kiss with great difficulty.

“Would you like us to dine with our friends, or rather alone, somewhere special?”

“Alone,” was Spock’s immediate answer. He needed to be with him and him only, without Jim and Scotty’s smart-ass comments.

Leonard took him to the observation deck where he had set a dining table for two, by the window, to have a view towards the stars which flew by; he filled two jars with fruit juice, because Spock did not seem to approve of alcohol and he did not want to upset him, and also brought dinner, a few of Spock’s favourite Vulcan foods he had managed to replicate.

“Is the place to your liking, Master?”

“The company is to my liking and the place is perfect. Really, Leonard, you have the most astonishing ideas!”

After they ate a bit, Spock moved on the sofa, to be more comfortable and invited Leonard to sit near him, taking his hand.

“It is such an extraordinary evening. I do not remember ever having felt this way,” Spock confessed on a soft tone.

“I am so happy!” Leonard exclaimed., enchanted that his efforts were paying off.

“It is so difficult to resist, really… Your mind is calling on to me so strongly… each moment I just want to complete the bonding and allow the bond to fully connect us.”

“Whenever you say the time is right, I will be ready. But know, Master, that you already have all of me, bond or no bond…” Leonard murmured, looking downwards.

Spock lifted his chin with one finger, looking at how vulnerable and submissive he was.

“This, Leonard, this is what I want, that which you are giving to me right now, all the time. This is what it means to be bonded to a Vulcan. If you resist me in the slightest, your survival WILL be unlikely during the Ponn Farr. This is why – always, absolutely always, there is a dominant partner in every Vulcan relationship, and a submissive one. Needless to say, I am not the submissive type.”

“It is okay,” Leonard said simply.

Somehow the observation, made on such a light-hearted tone, annoyed Spock.

“Leonard, do you understand that you would be giving me your life? Under Vulcan law, you will be my property.”

“I already AM your property, Master,” Leonard said decidedly. He wanted Spock to understand that he was going to do whatever it was necessary to make things work… to make him happy. He shyly took one of Spock’s hands, with a silent request reflecting in his eyes. Would Spock read his intentions even in the absence of a meld?

Spock lowered his eye-lids in acknowledgement and Leonard placed a small, delicate kiss on Spock’s hand.

They both remained silent for a moment.

“This is generally done after a Meld…” Spock said softly. He was teaching him the rules and at the same time he was going through long-lost memories of another time and place.

“What exactly?” Leonard inquired, not wanting to misunderstand something.

“Kissing the hand of your Master.”

Leonard took a deep breath to calm his emotions because it was the first time Spock was acknowledging himself as his Master. For Leonard, it was important.

“You’ve had a hard day, Master. Do you want to go and have some rest?”

“I should. However, this hard day has ended unexpectedly well. Would you not say?”

“Truly so, except it has not ended yet. According to the ancient Terran ritual called _date_ which we are currently undergoing,” Leonard explained – amused to see Spock’s eyes narrowing as he had started computing and re-arranging all information he possessed about said ritual – “I should walk you to your door and there, if you deem it right, I might get a good-night kiss.”

“On the corridor, yes?”

“Yes, yes, not in the room. I got the point.”

Spock offered him his arm and together they walked on the long corridors, until they arrived in front of the Vulcan’s quarters and Leonard stopped, looking at him with bright eyes.

Spock monitored the people passing by for a while; it was against Vulcan customs to touch one’s mate in public, but at the same time he wanted to follow the Terran traditions as well. Because Leonard deserved it. He lifted his chin with one finger and kissed his lips delicately.

“I believe the ritual advances quite alright,” Spock purred to Leonard’s year.

And Leonard felt he could die of happiness right then and there…

“Would you go on a date again with me, sometime?” Leonard inquired softly.

“I would go on a date with you right now, my Leonard. There is nothing I would like more – than to invite you inside my room and spend the entire night enjoying your physical and mental proximity – however, since we have decided to observe the customs of both our worlds, let us wait a few days more. Let us do everything the proper way.”

“So… we will be waiting until the _big night_ , right?”

“Exactly. Call me, as you humans say, old-fashioned, but I respect you too much. Besides, that night _shall_ be big and you need to prepare for it, to be well-rested and… well… in good shape.”

 

After receiving one more _good-night kiss_ , Leonard finally started walking towards his own quarters; he bumped into Jim and Scotty who were walking with their arms linked and talking in whispers.

“Heya Leonard! How was your date?”

“Thanks, Scotty, it was wonderful.”

“Dinnae stay with him tonight either?”

“Na’. We are doing it the old-fashioned way. Getting married or bonded first.”

“See, Jimmy? You could woo Mr. Idiot-and-Important with similar manners, you know? Invite him for dinner… wear a dress uniform and stuff…”

Jim looked downwards, visibly sad.

“He’s not easily impressed with such things. I bet that if I ever text him a coffee-invitation, he would just reply as usual: <Thank you for your message, Mr. Kirk.> and that would be all. Well, what can I say, Bones, I am very happy for you,” he said patting him on the shoulder – a friendly, usual gesture between them.

Leonard made a step back and Scotty caught Jim’s wrist.

“Are you tryina’ get yerself killed?”

“Sorry, forgot. It will take a time to get used to not touching you, Bones.”

“You’d better. Anyway, good night, gentlemen!”

 

Leonard had not even arrived at his cabin yet, when the text message came:

<Who touched you and why?>

<It was just Jim, being his usual careless self. I apologize.>

<Captain should be more careful.>

<Yeah, well, we both know how he is.>

<I will see you at breakfast.> Spock texted, feeling how everything inside him was burning; he was simply overwhelmed by the desire to complete the bonding process and to have Leonard with him, to be able to meld forever… as well as other things.

 

Spock came to the cafeteria next morning looking tired and his body temperature, slightly elevated than usual, made him thirsty and jumpy.

Leonard noticed immediately that he was not well.

“M…master? What is it?”

“I am not feeling well, Leonard, but before you switch to full Doctor-mode, please let me tell you that there is nothing you can do, the Bond is evolving, it is a natural process and… this is it,” he concluded breathlessly and then collapsed on the empty spot near Leonard.

“I promise not to switch to Doctor-mode, Master,” Leonard said mildly, I am here to serve you in whatever capacity you require; but still, try to understand that it breaks me to see you like this.”

“I only need your presence and your… submission. Try to stay on the Bridge with me during my Alpha-shift.”

“Will do,” he said turning towards Jim who was just arriving at their table as well. “Jim, schedule and authorise one shift on the Bridge for me right now, please.”

“Um, okay…”

He thought it was better to abstain from any smart-ass comments since Spock’s eyes seemed to be burning and Leonard looked very worried. Every now and then, he could be a good and serious friend.

Spock’s eyes continued to burn intensely throughout the day. He was fighting hard against himself and trying to resist, for Leonard’s sake, because he wanted to offer him one more day of freedom, so that he may be able to make an educated choice. He felt better only when Leonard was close to him, near his console. Whenever Leonard had to go somewhere, he would just follow him with his eyes throughout the Bridge, worriedly.

After the shift ended, Spock looked more or less exhausted by the inner fight. He allowed Leonard to just drag him to the cafeteria and collapsed on a chair, tiredly and holding Spock’s hand into his.

“It’s the bond, right? The bond is making you ill.”

“No, Leonard…” Spock murmured. “It is a growing process which is normal. Tomorrow I will complete the process. You deserve to have a few more hours, in case there are still questions you may need to ask… or something else…”

“With respect, Master, twelve hours will not make any difference. You need… need me now, you need to allow the bond to grow or however it is called, my mind is yours, my body is yours, why wait? I cannot bear to see you so distressed!”

“Tomorrow.”

“Why, oh, why?” Leonard continued to plead. “So that you would send me to your room again and be a mess in the morning?”

“We can stay in the Medical Bay if you wish to stay with me, a fact for which I am grateful, for I could not endure your absence; tomorrow evening you shall have the full bond and be mine, mine…”

“There is no way I can convince you, is it? Even if I promise I shall never ask another thing from you?”

“There is no way. You need to have this time, even if you do not realize it yet.”

“Fine. Fine. Fine.”

“We will stay together all night and all day tomorrow until the moment of our bonding. That is, if you promise not to plead for our immediate bonding anymore.”

Leonard sighed. What could he do in front of such resilience?

“You are a hard master, to ask this of me, but fine. I will do as you ask me to.”

Spock let out a deep breath of relief and he immediately, visibly felt better!

“You made things difficult for me a bit, Leonard. I shall immediately explain what I mean for I do not wish for any misunderstandings to exist between us. Experience has shown they are not beneficial.”

“Yeah so… what do you mean? What did I do to make things difficult?”

“When I placed my claim, I never expected… for the feelings to be reciprocal. I would have made you need me, and then give in to me, but I never expected for you to… reciprocate my feelings… I never believed you would actually love me.”

Leonard blinked a couple of times. For the love of all gods! Spock loved him!? Spock LOVED HIM! It was the most extraordinary discovery of his entire life! And he was momentarily rendered… speechless.

“Between two bondmates, there is generally a feeling of dependency – and the consuming need to be together, of course; but love – that is extremely rare.”

Leonard lowered his head enough to reach his hand, which he kissed softly. God, how he adored him! It was as if Spock’s confession had just… doubled the intensity of his own feelings, if such a thing was even possible!

“Gosh, I want to know everything about you. Every little thing. Tell me more about your mother and father. Of course, I know that she… perished during the terrible day of destruction… but before that?

“Mother and Father…” Spock began, then he stopped, as if a sudden flow of emotions were momentarily rendering him unable to speak. “Father – he…”

Leonard wondered if he had just messed everything up with that question, because it very much seemed so. Were there any deep, unknown problems between Spock and his father, Sarek?

“I wonder why is Mr. Scott crying?” Spock asked, as he suddenly saw their common friend passing by, sobbing and rubbing his fists against a pair of read, teary eyes, like a child having lost the most beloved toy.

“Huh?”

Leonard made a considerable to snap out of the blissful world in which only Spock and himself existed; yes, other beings existed, even if right now it was difficult to even acknowledge them.

“Scotty, what the hell?” It was, of course, the warmest thing Leonard could utter.

Scotty seemed to observe them and gave them a broken smile.

“Come here, Mr. Scott,” Spock ordered, knowing very well the young human will not refuse him. He needed assistance, they would not abandon their friend in need.

Scotty mildly approached them and dropped on the small sofa in front of them.

“Sorry. I dinnae wanna disturb you. You have enough problems of yer own.”

“Nonsense, just start talking, what the hell happened?” Leonard inquired, going to the replicator machine and bringing him a strong coffee, after having silently asked for permission from Spock – and it was amazing how they could understand each other without words!

“I had a huge fight, or rather an explanation of some sort, with Jim.”

“What in the hell for?”

“It all started with some damn torpedoes he wanted me to authorise being beamed aboard. It’s some experimental weapons the fuel compartment of which is shielded by some shit… cannae even see what’s inside… it annoyed the hell out of me so I told him I will not sign for the damn torpedoes and then we started fighting about other things.”

“Like what?” Spock inquired, carefully analysing the information Mr. Scott was submitting. Jim was not the type to beam aboard items which would jeopardise the ship; at the same time, there was something strange about all that.

“Like, apparently, Marcus gave us those torpedoes because he wanted us to go on a manhunt of some sort… and then, just like that, I asked Jim if it was because You-Know-Who ordered him to undergo such a stupid mission!”

“Are you referring to…?”

“Yeah, Mr. Spock, to him,” and the observation made Spock lift one eye-brow because he had not mentioned any name, and yet Mr. Scott seemed to somehow be aware of his thought-patterns – or was it just a proof of human intuition? It was hard to say, Spock felt the need to investigate and experiment.

“What was the Captain’s reaction?”

“A very bad one. He accused me of endangering an official mission because I am stubborn and I do not want to comply to his orders, just because the mission specs were drafted by his lover – which they weren’t, as I have later found out. So, I got mad and told him that just because I loved him, I will not tolerate for him to mock at me in such a manner!”

“My God, Scotty…” Leonard said, looking at him sadly. Such hurtful words were said when love was strong and… unrequited. He knew. He wished he could at least hold Scotty’s hand for a moment.

“Mr. Scott,” Spock continued. “You have very strong feelings towards the Captain, am I correct?”

Scotty just covered his face with hands and started crying again.

“I will just kill myself,” he said on a dark, resolute tone.

It made Leonard completely panic! Scotty was generally a very vivid, happy and easy-going man who would not say such nonsense; was he actually capable of such an abominable thing? Leonard knew well that no such threat had to be taken lightly; people had to be helped immediately when they uttered such things. For Spock, too, the affirmation was of extreme gravity. He stood up from his sofa and went near Scotty, trying to offer a bit of comfort. He took a good hold of his wrists.

“Look at me now, come on…”

Scotty mildly lifted his head and looked into Spock’s eyes.

“Under no circumstances will you do something – “

“No, Spock,” Scotty said struggling to free himself from Spock’s strong hands. “Just let me be, I have ruined your evening already, I am a mess, I do not deserve anything…”

Spock felt through the touch that Scotty’s desire to… self-destruct was genuine and he could not let him do that. He held his wrists with one hand and placed his other hand on his face.

“Calm…” he murmured. “Breathe deeply. We are here with you… It will be fine…”

Scotty stopped struggling, looking at Spock with eyes full of wonder as their minds connected. Spock continued to send waves of calmness towards his tormented mind, trying to rebuild a balance of some sort, albeit fragile – something to re-awake his desire to live.

Scotty’s mind settled a bit; he calmed down, but his pain was still strong and it was flowing towards Spock freely, now that a meld was in place and their minds were linked. His very life-essence had ben endangered and he was now reaching out to Spock strongly, to his compassion and kindness and strength, because Spock was stronger than any being he had ever met. Without realizing what he was doing, he attached his very soul to the incipient bond in Spock’s mind, with despair, wanting and needing someone’s love and comfort to just… exist.

“What are you doing…” Spock murmured, as fear overtook him. “Stop! STOP!”

Leonard was alarmed to see Spock react in such a violent manner – it was obvious that something terrible was going on in their minds. He stared at each of them, wondering what he could do. Was Scotty hurting Spock?!

“Mr. Scott, you cannot!!”

But it was now all too late.

Scotty’s powerful mind had attached to the bond, taking Leonard’s rightful place.

With a huge effort, Spock disengaged the bond and pushed him away, throwing him down on the floor. He then rushed to him, picked him up and pushed him against the nearest wall.

“What have you done, you, unfortunate human? Do you know what you have done? Was this the modality you had chosen to kill yourself? You wanted ME to kill you because it was too difficult to do it yourself? Well, I am NOT going to do it…”

“Master, what is going on??” Leonard finally gathered the courage to ask, mad with worry by now.

“Stop calling me that, Leonard,” Spock said leaving Scotty fall at his feet as if he were a doll. “I am no longer your master or your… anything for that matter; this unfortunate human used the meld I have offered in my idiot attempt to comfort him, to steal your bond. He stole what was yours.”

Leonard stared at Spock and then at Scotty alternatively, trying to understand the terrible meaning of the words which had been spoken.

“Why, Mr. Scott? Tell your friend Leonard, here present, why? He deserves to know.”

“I could not help it,” were the only words Scotty was able to utter.

“I will make your life a living hell, Mr. Scott, my bondmate,” Spock said, true hatred reflecting into his eyes. I will make each hour, each minute, each second a nightmare.”

Saying those words, Spock grabbed Scotty and simply dragged him away to his quarters.


	3. Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My God,” Leonard murmured, terrified beyond words. “Scotty, tell me, I want to know, I need to know. You owe me this. Did he abuse you?”
> 
> “Abuse – me?” Scotty looked at him, almost not understanding what Leonard meant.
> 
> “Did he rape you?”

The night had been dreadful for everyone, and especially so for Leonard. Unable to sleep, but also unable to be alone tormented by thoughts and pain and heartache, he had spent the night in the Medical Bay – a sort-of second house for him, trying not to think of the fact that Spock had taken Scotty – his… bondmate?! His – what?! – with him to his quarters, where no one ever – not even a yeoman – had stepped in.

“Doktor?” – a very shy Pave Chekov leaned over him, trying to make himself visible, because Leonard was just blankly staring at the ceiling.

“Huh?” Leonard mumbled, sitting up.

“Hi, Doktor MkKoy. I am very sorry to disturb you but… I, um…”

“What, kid?”

“There is no one on the Bridge and we are passing through a dense asteroid field and… well, there is no one in command.”

“What do you mean, there is no one in command?”

“Well, it was Mr. Spock’s shift this morning but he is not answering my calls and his door is locked, only your medical code can override it; The Captain does not reply to messages and left a voice-mail not to be disturbed; and Mr. Scott is… missing, I have no idea where he is, he is not registering on the ship’s computer at all; and, well… you are the only senior officer I could find!”

“Gosh, let me just wash my face, come with me to the bathroom, please; what did you say we are passing through?”

“The Bassen asteroid field.”

“Whatever that means. I hope we at least have a navigator?! Where is Sulu?!”

“He was on duty all night, he had the gamma shift. He is sleeping.”

“Crapcrapcrap. Kid, can you manage the flight corridor through the damn asteroids?”

“Yes, but I kud not manage all the other Bridge functions. We need Mr. Spock or Mr. Captain, each of them generally covers the work done by 4-5 people, you know. They multitask well.”

“Well, we do not have Mr. Spock or Mr. Captain,” Leonard said bitterly, wondering why Scotty was not registering on the ship’s life-signs console. Had Spock killed him? He will not think of that now. Scotty was Spock’s property now – and if Spock wanted to kill him, well – Leonard could not stand against that. As that thought traversed his mind, he felt ashamed. What kind of a doctor he was?

He followed the young Pavel Chekov on the Bridge and sat down on the commanding chair, which was something completely new for him. Upon reading the ongoing mission specifications – navigation through a dangerous rift, establishing a high orbit around the 3rd planed in the respective system and installing a surveillance beacon, all the while remaining undetected, Leonard realized he was completely unequipped to deal with such a complex task.

“How do I open a channel to Mr. Spock’s room?”

Pavel, who had sat down at his own console, turned towards him.

“Input 22572 on ze small command panel.”

Leonard thought that everything was very complicated. He did so, and a familiar chime sound let him know that he had an open channel to Spock

This was difficult.

“Hello, Commander Spock. Please report to the Bridge at once.”

There was an eerie silence at the other end and for a moment Leonard had the impression everyone on the Bridge was just holding their breath.

“I shall be there momentarily,” the answer came, and Leonard barely recognized his voice.

“Very well. I also need the Chief Engineer. He is needed in Engineering as there is no one on duty there either.”

Another few seconds of silence passed.

“Mr. Scott is on his way to Engineering,” Spock replied dryly. “Spock out.”

Leonard took a deep breath to calm his own raging emotions. He dialled another code on the panel – he was getting the hang of this.

“M’Benga?”

“Yeah Boss, how are you?” his assistant chirped.

“On the Bridge. Listen carefully. I want you to get a Medical Kit and go straight to Engineering. Scan Mr. Scott and give him an examination to the best of your abilities, without touching him. If you observe any signs of abuse, report to me immediately and bring a security team.”

“Ok Boss, I’ll get going.”

Leonard was not going to tolerate any harm being brought upon another crew member, no matter who was the person inflicting the damage – Spock, the President of the fucking Federation or King Sarek himself. No. Leonard had come back to his senses. He was a doctor. Nobody was going to die, not on his watch, and no one was going to hurt a fellow colleague. They were residing on a Starship, not in the jungle.

Spock arrived minutes later and Leonard tried desperately to avoid eye-contact and to push away his own pain.

“Commander Spock,” he said professionally. “We are traversing the Bassen rift. I need you to sit at the helm, as we do not have another pilot for the present shift.”

“Have you assumed command… Doctor?”

“Yes. There was no other senior officer present.”

“Has something happened to the Captain?”

“This was _your_ shift,” Leonard said reproachingly. “The Captain is currently unfit for duty. I will attend to him as soon as I can.”

“Very well, Doctor.”

Spock himself had no other comments. He sat down at navigation and began pressing various controls, establishing a safe route among the dense asteroid field.

Leonard wished he could just grant command to Spock – who was so much better at everything – and rush out of the Bridge and hide somewhere and scream, but he could not; Spock seemed to be in a very bad state as well, Leonard could feel it, even though there was no more… bond connecting them. Leonard did not want to add to his burden.

“3 minutes to the center of the rift,” Spock said – it was as if life was completely missing out of himself, it was very much so; he had lost everything.

“Are you up to this task, Mr. Spock?” Leonard asked, coming closer to him, his voice full of worry, of concern… had love just gone just because a bond had been stolen? Well, not for Leonard.

“I am doing my best to operate optimally, Doctor, thank you for your concern.”

Well, in any case, it seemed they had their robot back…

“Time to prepare the satellite for installation,” Leonard said. He punched Scotty’s code on the small control panel. “Engineering?”

“Engineering,” Scotty replied on a weary tone.

“Get the satellite ready for deployment. We will be reaching the position in 6.2 minutes.”

If Scotty was surprised to hear Leonard McCoy dispatch such instructions, nothing reflected on his voice.

“Understood.”

Things weren’t smooth during the entire operation and Leonard could feel it. Spock had a general disinterest towards everything; Scotty seemed beyond exhaustion and Leonard could not help but imagine all the dreadful horrors that may have happened in that room, between Scotty and Spock.

<Report?> he texted M’Benga, because he really had to know how Scotty was feeling, beyond what his instincts and his imagination told him; he had to know.

<No injuries at all, except extremely bruised wrists. Adrenaline level elevated, sending you full readings.>

Stress, Leonard concluded. Scotty barely functioned; stress had overtaken him and he had no means to control. He was decided to set things straight with everyone. Really now, he should be the one in pain – and instead of that, Scotty was barely uttering any words, Spock looked… depressed? Could the Vulcans suffer from sudden depression? Jim was completely absent and Leonard found himself among a bunch of kids who needed a leader with a strong hand to guide them through the ship operations and he sure as hell was not that person.

He remained on the command-chair until the satellite was deployed and they began their journey home on an alternative route, longer but safer, to avoid complicated navigation procedures of which Leonard was completely clueless. Once more, he vowed to actually attend the piloting classes and make a good job there.

As acting Captain, it was well within his rights to dispatch orders. Therefore, as soon as he managed to see that the ship was under way and nothing new was going to happen for a while, he conveyed the necessary messages and gathered Jim, Spock and Scotty in the Briefing Room. It was very unusual to do this, but he had to.

“Captain Kirk, for which reason did you not present yourself for duty?”

Jim looked at his lifetime friend, unused to hearing such harsh and official words from him.

“I am not feeling well and I was declared unfit for duty.”

“By whom?”

“By Admiral Christopher Pike. I will forward you his official order.”

“Why haven’t you let me know that you were not feeling well? As the Chief Medical Officer of this ship, my first duty is to you.”

“Computer, stop recording,” Jim required. Then, he turned towards Leonard and looked into his eyes. “Bones, I am sorry. I will pull myself together but right now it is hard. Something has happened and I cannot say anything just yet. I am not myself; I do not feel I… you are doing a good job, Bones. I always knew you were fit for command. Computer, resume recording. It is my official statement that due to being emotionally compromised, I decided it was in the ship’s best interest not to be in command for the time-being.”

Leonard turned towards Spock, who was actually startled by his strong, decided look.

“Commander Spock, may I know the reasons for you being late for your shift?”

Leonard knew very well the reasons; Spock wondered for a moment what was the purpose of all this and why did Leonard have to torture him – them? – in such a manner. And after having thought that, he felt ashamed. Leonard was following standard ship procedures while he, the man who prided himself on always following the rules, was now completely unfit for command as well.

“Personal reasons which I cannot divulge have prevented me from being on time for my shift.”

“You are a Starfleet officer, Mr. Spock. There are no such things as personal reasons when it comes to doing your duty. How would it be like if personal reasons preventing me from attending the surgery I have scheduled for my patients?”

“You are most certainly right, Doctor. It is perfectly understandable to file a report against me. I do not have a valid excuse for being late.”

Leonard knew it was pointless to continue to get a complete statement for Spock about what had happened in that room during that night and early morning.

“Your turn. Mr. Scott. Why were you late for your shift in Engineering?”

“You cut the crap here, Leonard. You know damn well why I was late. I was fuckin’ late because Spock kept me locked into his room, in order to ---”

“ENOUGH,” Spock said on a deadly tone, wanting to just rush to him.

Leonard stepped between them, knowing that Spock would not hurt him.

“Whoa’ now, Master is in a bad mood!” Scotty exclaimed mockingly.

“Scotty!!” Leonard exclaimed shocked. Why was he even talking to Spock like that? It was unimaginable!

“Oh please,” Scotty said with disgust.

“If you are trying to provoke me, you are about to succeed,” Spock murmured towards him on the same deadly tone.

“I have had enough of this!” Leonard exclaimed upset. “Listen here, Scotty. I should be angry with you for having stolen my bond, but I am not. However, I AM angry because of your outrageous behaviour you are displaying towards Spock and us. You wanted my bond? Well, you have it now! I want to see you respect it!”

“You honestly do not have ANY idea what you are talking about, Leonard. You would not last a single day with this monster and what I do want from you is to lock me in the brig for insubordination, so that I can be as far away from him as possible.”

Shocked to the core, Leonard just stared at Scotty for a moment.

“Have you – have you abused him?” he then asked Spock, with a trembling voice.

“It concerns only me what I do to my bondmate. He is my property,” Spock replied dryly.

“Fuck you!!” Scotty yelled at him and he really looked on the verge of completely losing his mind.

Leonard could sense Spock’s growing anger; it was as if they were on the verge of a terrible, terrible abyss, about to fall in. All of them. He cupped Scotty’s face, making him look into his eyes and at the same time shielding him from Spock with his own body.

“Scotty. Scotty. Look at me. I am your colleague and your friend for God’s sake. I do not want to hurt you. I want to… help you,” Leonard tried to reason with him, no matter how hard it was.

“Doctor, step aside, I shall –” Spock began, but Leonard turned towards him.

“You are dismissed, Commander. Please leave this room at once and return to your station. Jim, go to Medical and wait for me there. Both of you, this instant!”

Spock could not believe that Leonard could be… _like that_ , but he had to obey. And so had Jim. They both left the room, feeling disoriented and confused and – since there was nothing else to do – they followed Leonard’s orders.

Scotty collapsed on his knees in front of Leonard, crying uncontrollably.

Leonard sat down in front of him, cross-legged, arms around his neck and left him cry, to release some of the tension and pain, not coaxing him to talk until he was ready to do so.

“I am so sorry, Leonard.”

“Why, Scotty? This is all I want to know. Why have you done this? Look what you’ve done to yourself, to me, to him.”

“I did not want to, Leonard, I swear, I am not sure if you can actually believe me, but I did not want to steal your bond. For a moment, when he melded to comfort me, it was just… I could no longer reason, I could only see and feel him, it was as if nothing else existed, except his compassion and care and kind heart. And my consciousness was drawn to him with the force of lightning, I just could not help myself!! I do not know how to steal a bond. It was simply… my heart went to him, and it… happened! As soon as the bond connected into my mind, a strange fever overwhelmed me, it was as If my entire skin was just… burning!! As if I was actually on fire. Imagine the worst plasma-burn you ever treated… and multiply it with 100!”

“My God,” Leonard murmured, terrified beyond words. “Scotty, tell me, I want to know, I need to know. You owe me this. Did he abuse you?”

“Abuse – me?” Scotty looked at him, almost not understanding what Leonard meant.

“Did he rape you?”

“Goodness, Leonard… do I exhibit any signs of rape?”

“No, but… I cannot see through your clothes.”

“No, Leonard,” Scotty said, rubbing his eyes. “He did not rape me – even though I practically begged him to touch me, even with one finger, to just… make the fever go away. He did not lay a single finger upon me.”

“Dear, dear God…”

“I begged him to accept me. But he said…”

“What, Scotty? What did he say?”

“He said that the only being he will ever want is you. You. He will not – he will not accept me, not even if I were to crawl in agony on the corridors of the Enterprise and die in excruciating pain.”

Leonard felt cold shivers. No. Spock could not be like that.

“Scotty, listen to me. What he wants or doesn’t want – is no longer of importance. What it matters is what we’ve got. And we have to deal with things as they come. Please give it a bit of time, I will resign once we arrive at the International Space Station and he will no longer see me. He will forget me, and in time he will accept you.”

“Resign? Don’t resign, Leonard. He will hate me and torture me even more.”

“We shall see,” Leonard said, starting to also doubt that resigning was a solution. Perhaps it was better to stay and… defend Scotty from Spock’s wrath. The things he had come to do!!! “But if he does not want you, Scotty… isn’t there a way to break the bond?”

“Only king Sarek can undo a Vulcan bond.”

“Oh. Oh, I see. King Sarek, of whom Spock never speaks.”

“King Sarek would never approve of Spock being bonded to a human. Let us say he agrees to undo this bond because it had been abusively created, by mistake so to speak; but he will see in Spock’s mind the intention to bond with you, and that will enrage him.”

“He hates humans that much?”

“Yeah.”

“But Spock’s mother is – was human!”

“Yeah well, he hates all the other humans.”

Leonard sighed.

“I really didn’t think that Vulcans were capable of hatred and love.”

“They feel stronger and much deeper than us, Leonard. This is why they shield their emotions under that Zen shield of theirs, to protect themselves – and considering the last events – also to protect us from their tidal wave of emotions.”

They had both calmed down to some degree and Leonard took his hands.

“We made a mess out of our lives, Scotty. But in some way, we are back to square one. I do not have Spock, you do not have him either, Jim is going through a bad phase and we need to look after him. Spock will… meditate and come to his senses. I will not leave you alone with him, do not worry, and if the fever threatens your life again, I will personally call king Sarek and tell him to intervene.”

“I cannot understand how you can be so kind to me, Leonard. I have practically stolen your chance to happiness – even though I severely doubt you would have found happiness near Spock.”

“We need to… support each other, Scotty. What else we can do? We’ve got… nothing left. Now I need you to help me, Scotty, and to promise me that you will no longer insult him. It really hurts me.”

“You… love him, Leonard, don’t you?”

“I love him, Scotty, and I would do anything for him to be happy. Even give him up.”

“I promise not to insult him anymore. I was only doing it to get a reaction out of him, to anger him enough for him to just… finish me.”

“Well, no more of that, please.”

“Okay,” Scotty murmured getting up and taking a napkin from the table, wiping his tears away.

“Now I want you to go to Engineering. I need someone to count on over there, Scotty; we are on route to ISS Earth, but the journey is long and I cannot make it by myself with all those… teenagers on the Bridge.”

“Okay, Leonard. I’ll go now.”

As Scotty felt a bit more confident, Leonard took a deep breath and tried not to collapse. He had to try and fix things. He was getting his own face cleaned with a wet wipe when someone chimed.

“Come in,” he said hoping he was not looking as if having just been hit by a truck.

To his surprise, Spock came in. With a visibly trembling hand, the Vulcan pressed a few controls on a nearby panel and the computer turned all the recording devices off. He wanted to make sure they would not be disturbed for a couple of minutes.

“Spock,” Leonard managed to say.

“Leonard…” he murmured, remaining near the door and almost not daring to look at him. “I need to know what… that person told you,” he continued, completely unable to utter Mr. Scott’s name.

“There will be a record on Mr. Scott’s file for having insulted you and for being late. As it will be on yours, for being late for your shift as well. We just do not do such things, Spock. No matter how messed up our own lives are.”

“I know, Leonard, and you are perfectly right. I should not be on the Bridge. I am not functioning and I fear I would…”

“No, please, Spock. Do it for me, if not for something else. I am no Captain, for God’s sake. And Jim is bad, I haven’t even gotten the chance to figure out what had happened to him. I can only presume it is related to Pike… so please, okay?” Leonard said, coming closer to him and making the gesture of taking his hand but not going all the way, since Spock did not seem to encourage any touch right now.

“I need to know, Leonard,” Spock said again. “I need to know if… Mr. Scott has provided any kind of… explanation. I do not share a telepathic link with him and I refuse to touch his mind.”

“Don’t you share a… bond right now?” Leonard inquired, barely managing to utter the word that was hurting so – the _bond._ His bond. His forever lost bond.

“A bond is one thing. A bond does not automatically imply a telepathic link, even though his mind is strong and could withstand it. Telepathic communication requires profound melding in order to activate the telepathic centres located in the hippocampus. It is very painful for humans at the beginning.”

“Spock, Scotty is very scared of you and in great physical distress. He talked of a fever of some sort. Spock, don’t torture him like that. You are not a heartless monster who wants to just destroy another. He did not steal the bond on purpose. It was an accident of some sort.”

“Leonard, do not defend him, please. He took what was yours.”

“Are the feelings gone together with the bond, Spock? You no longer feel anything, anything at all for me? Because I love you, damn it! One fucked-up bond surely hasn’t fucked up my heart as well!

“I love you, Leonard,” Spock murmured, looking into his eyes. “I love you and it is useless. I cannot even touch your hands.”

“Why the hell not? You don’t want Scotty if I understand correctly. You want me.”

“Yes. I would die. A Vulcan cannot cheat on his ‘bondmate’ without severe, perhaps deadly consequences.”

Leonard swallowed hard, once again speechless as he realized he had really lost Spock forever.

“If Mr. Scott is afraid of me, it is… with reason.”

“Spock, he is your bondmate now.”

“He is NOT; I refused to accept his bond and I blocked it as soon as I could. I am going to say this once, Leonard. My claim upon you stays. I will not touch another being, not even during my Ponn Farr, not even if it means my death.”

“Spock, where the hell has your logic gone, you, insane Vulcan? I have spent the last half an hour trying to convince Scotty to stop aggravating you. I love you, damn it! And I will not have you die because of this stupid thing. So, stop it, okay?”

“I will never…” Spock said again, choking with tears; he stopped, unable to continue speaking; all the pain of the lost bond, of the lost love and life washed over him, making him cringe.

Leonard made two steps back, fighting hard against his own instinct to embrace him and comfort him.

“Spock: I will ask you one thing. Please, stop hurting Scotty. I am asking you to this for me as a personal favour. Surely you will not deny me this.”

“I am not hurting him, Leonard. I am only rejecting him.”

Leonard wondered how love was, if rejection was… like this.  He sat down on the couch, no longer able to suppress his own tears.

It broke Spock to see him crying! It was unbearable. He covered his own face with his hands, not knowing what to say or do to comfort him.

“Is there any chance for us, Spock? Any hope?”

“There is always hope, Leonard,” Spock said coming and sitting down near him. “Remember what I said. I will never have anyone else, not even if it means my death.”

“But is there any chance of our bond being remade without you and Scotty being in extreme danger or perhaps even dying?

“What happened is so unnatural… I really do not know.”

“Can’t you just ask King Sarek?”

Spock visibly flinched upon hearing his father’s name.

“No. I cannot ask him anything. He disapproves of me so strongly, that there is no place for dialogue left.”

Leonard’s heart sank once more, but somehow, somehow… he felt there was a way out of this, even if that ‘way’ passed through the dangerous, unknown, unmapped territory represented by Sarek’s presence.


	4. My Master And Bondmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You will kneel,” Spock commanded, his voice strong and his eyes still burning.

Jim was staring at the Medical Bay ceiling, waiting for Leonard to come and see him; he was looking forward to talking to his friend. However, it took a while for Leonard to be able to come, and he did not look that well when he finally made an appearance, not to mention he did not seem in the mood to talk at all.

As always when he was stressed – and right now he seemed really overwhelmed by it – Leonard had switched to the very strict CMO mode and he was basically barking medical commands at each and every single one of his assistants.

“Bones.”

“You are severely dehydrated and have a concussion. What the hell did you do? Lost consciousness?”

“Huh? No, I fainted.”

“It’s the same thing, crazy.”

Good to know you are feeling better!”

“Can’t say I am, Jimmy-boy.”

“Bones, what the hell happened?”

“Okay, Jim, do you even want to ask that question?”

“Yes, I do,” Jim said, sitting up.

“I will tell you the whole thing. But first, you gotta tell me what the hell happened on your side. Scotty was saying something about Pike.”

It didn’t escape Leonard the way Jim’s eyes lit up when he heard Pike’s name.

“It really did not have any direct connection with him, you know?” Jim began. “He just happened to be the person to convey the specifications of our new mission to me, the launch of a set of torpedoes upon a specific location.”

“Wait a minute, Jim. Pike wants us to bombard a place?”

“Not him. He only conveyed the information and sent the torpedoes.”

“Um-huh. And? Scotty threw a temper tantrum.”

“He did not want to sign for the torpedoes and said they are dangerous and stuff, and that we are explorers and not military personnel and that Marcus wants us to do this because he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty.”

“Sorry, but Scotty is right.”

“Don’t you think I know that? But at the time, I was just… I did not think of refusing, I felt Marcus will retaliate somehow… so I told Scotty the stupidest thing ever.”

“Like…?”

“Like… _If you love me, sign for the damn torpedoes._ ”

“Moron. How could you, really? You know he is in love with you, dickhead!”

“It was more like an expression, Bones… anyway, he got very upset. He said that I know better how love is, since I rush to do _anything that Pike says_ , even immoral and otherwise wrong things.”

Leonard shook his head. These two were incredible!

“I told Scotty that Yes, I would do anything that Pike wanted, even immoral, illegal and completely wrong and fucked up things, because for me, Pike is God; but right now, the orders didn’t come from Pike, but from Marcus and that he was severely confusing things.”

“Okay… and?” Leonard asked, dreading to hear the end of that story.

“Scotty took his communicator out of his pocket and pressed a few buttons and sent the recording of our entire conversation to… Pike himself, through subspace.”

“What? Oh my God! He didn’t tell us that!!!”

“Pike relieved me of command in the next 5 minutes and sent a few orders to Spock, which I am not sure he received and acknowledged. He also told me he did not need me to worship him, but to obey his orders and be civil and that I was way out of my hand there.”

“I don’t even what to think of what you told Scotty next.”

“Yeah… all the bad things.”

“Mhm… let me tell you what happened after that, Jimmy-boy. He came to the cafeteria, where Spock and I were. He was a quivering mess who wanted to commit suicide. Spock melded with him, in order to bring some light into his obscured mind; and Scotty, just like that, stole my bond. He Stole My Bond,” Leonard said sorrowfully; every now and then, the gravity of the facts and the darkness accompanying them just crept back into his soul.

Jim just stared at Leonard, unable to say anything for a while.

“It is all my fault,” he finally managed – a lifetime of self-blame and self-harm had made him be very well accustomed to assuming responsibility for all the bad things happening around him and especially to those he loved. He was to blame. He Was To Blame.

“It’s not your fault, Jim, stop saying silly things. And if you want to know, it is not even Scotty’s fault. It is just the stupidity and the lack of logic and lack of grace of life itself, and the mercilessness and inexistence of gods.”

“Cut the nihilist shit and tell me the rest, Bones,” Jim asked, sitting up cross-legged on the biobed.

For the next hour, Leonard told him everything else which had happened. Jim was his good and beloved friend and he deserved to know – besides, it felt good to talk. At times, he would stop to cry, and Jim was civil enough not to try and comfort him, as he had observed that Leonard was holding on to his instructions, even though Spock no longer cared about them – and rejected any foreign touch. Jim would ask a question here and there and as he was replying to him, Leonard got to structure and order his own thoughts and intentions better.

“Bones, there is nothing that you can tell me to convince me that I am not to blame for this. I have aggravated Scotty – we have aggravated each other, to be more precise – and now we are in this situation. And we should not, Bones. We should not. We are friends, the four of us. Please let me fix this.”

“How could you possibly _fix this_ , Jim? I have discussed with Spock, with Scotty… the only solution to undo that unnatural bond which formed between Scotty and Spock is to contact Sarek and ask for his help, and Spock does not want to.”

“Yeah, well, no wonder. But while I do not exclude the possibility of seeing Sarek in the near future, because all this bond thing cannot go on without his knowledge, really – I believe I may have a plan. Will you trust me?”

“I am ready to try anything, Jim, so yeah, go ahead. What is your plan?”

“You must not know my plan, in order for it to work. Just trust me.”

“Okay,” Leonard said, feeling hope rekindle in his troubled soul.

“Okay. I will plan this very carefully and we will act. Now tell me, how are you dealing with ship operations? I have read a few of your reports whilst staying here in Medical. Quite an impressive work!”

“You will resume command in the morning, Jim. And Spock will function as your First Officer, as usual, and Scotty as your Chief Engineer and myself as your damn, nagging, intrusive CMO.”

“Life as usual! But Chris relieved me of duty.”

“ _Chris_ does not know what happened on this bloody ship and that I am in command, and as the acting Captain I am relinquishing command back to you. I am gonna call Pike this evening.”

Jim swallowed hard.

“Are you?”

“Yeah and don’t be such a baby. If you are trying to fix things for me, the least I can do is to return the favour.”

Leonard went to his room; he had left Sulu and Chekov on the Bridge for the night shift, he trusted them, even though both were extremely young. Sulu’s calm demeanour and Pavel’s sparkling intelligence were quite enough to smoothly and correctly run a ship for an entire shift, and Leonard knew he could take a few hours off and sort his own problems out.

He connected a call to Christopher Pike as soon as he had the chance and the Admiral responded quickly and professionally, wearing the official uniform and not casual clothes – even though it was 11 PM on Earth – that man never really slept, did he? Leonard asked himself.

“Good evening, Admiral.”

“Doctor McCoy, it is unusual for you to contact me. What can I do for you?”

“I have yet to send you a report about the latest events on the Enterprise but let me tell you I have assumed command since one and a half standard days ago. Captain Kirk, Commander Spock and Lieutenant Montgomery Scott have gone through an accident that severely affected the three of them and me as well, but I am still functioning.”

Chris frowned and he looked as if he wanted to rush to Leonard through the view screen and shake him up in order to obtain more information more quickly.

“What are you talking about? What happened?”

“To make it simple, Mr. Scott and Mr. Kirk, due to a miscalculation and given a highly emotional state they both were in – the reasons for which are known to you – they interfered in the process of creation of a Vulcan bond, which they altered and which… misconnected. The result is a tragedy. I will not exaggerate when I say I fear for Jim and Scotty’s lives right now.”

Leonard was perhaps exaggerating but he was only Human. Good thing he was not Vulcan, that was a blessing, because the damn elves could not lie!

“McCoy, don’t play with me. Is Jim hurt?”

“I will not play with you, fine. Stop recording this conversation.”

Chris pressed a few controls on his communication console.

“Okay. Talk, Leonard.”

“Okay, are you ready?”

“Yes,” Chris confirmed even though, after looking at McCoy and at the way he was frowning, he did not feel so ‘ready’.

“Are you out of your god-damned mind? That kids adores you, worships you exists for you only! Dammit man, he has your picture as his phone desktop-background! He has notebooks with every phrase you ever uttered! Why the hell are you being such a jerk? Even a blind man can see you love him too.”

Chris swallowed hard, choked with emotions.

“McCoy, I am not a teenager with a crush, nor a college teacher with a sudden passion for one of his students. I am –“

“I know who the hell you are. What’s your problem?”

“This is not a discussion we should have now.”

“No, this is the _exact discussion_ we are having now, I’ll be damned! I want to know what your problem is. You do love him, don’t you? Or am I a complete idiot?”

“You are not a complete idiot, Leonard,” Chris said – and Leonard knew this was as close as he would get to a confession over a subspace terminal.

“I know, thanks. Now I want to know _what is the problem_. You are not even his superior officer, he works with Marcus most of the time, or with Jon Archer.”

“McCoy. How old is Jim?”

“Twenty-three.”

“And what is my age, please?”

“Wait, I am not a damn computer, I’ll Google it. Okay, so you are 45. So fucking what?”

“Jim is… almost half my age. And he likes the company, the… proximity of people his age, as it is normal.”

“You have got to be kidding me. So, Jim is a flirt. And you can’t stand that.”

“I never could stand it, and I would not, it would destroy me. He…”

“…sleeps with everything that moves, right?”

Chris looked downwards.

“That is what rumours say.”

“Well then, listen here, You Idiot. Jim has never slept with anyone. For what it matters. I am his Doctor and I am giving you private medical information here, stepping all over my ethic, and you are a jerk for making me do it.”

Chris stared at McCoy – or rather at the view-screen, blankly – for a few good minutes, unable to say anything at all. It was as if McCoy’s last statement had just wiped his entire nervous system away.

“Okay, you are freaking me out now. Breathe, man, okay?”

“McCoy, listen carefully. Sit down.”

Leonard stopped pacing through the room and sat down in front of the console.

“You have unveiled very precious, vital information here. I want to return the favour so that you do not feel you stepped all over your ethic, thus doing an abominable thing. You have a Vulcan bond issue over there.”

“Yeah.”

“There is no Vulcan bond issue that Sarek of Vulcan cannot solve. Go to him and tell him the entire truth.”

“Spock does not want. He experiences great distress whenever I utter the word _Sarek._ ”

“It is somehow understandable. But the most important thing, the only thing that you need to remember, Leonard, is that Sarek _loves_ his son. His love surpasses all understanding and all boundaries. Remember this.”

It was Leonard’s turn to remain completely speechless.

“Well then,” Pike said after a while. “This has been a positive conversation. Good night, Doctor.”

“Good night, Admiral,” Leonard said and he just wanted to laugh, for he had called him an idiot and many other things during the respective conversation.

Therefore, Sarek _loved_ Spock.

Beyond understanding, beyond boundaries.

 

Jim resumed his duties on the Bridge next morning at 6 AM sharp. He saw to his duties in an exemplary way, no more jokes, but no harshness either, making sure everything was smooth and normal and everyone had everything they needed in order to operate at full capacity. He had received a message from Christopher Pike in which he was informed he was reinstated as the Captain of the Enterprise. He had of course saved the brief, official message and learnt it by heart, reading it several times every day.

Leonard also went about his duties in the Medical Bay. Things were tense and gloomy for him and he barely saw Spock anymore. He missed him… he missed not only his physical presence, but also their friendly banter, their discussions, Spock’s exasperating way of correcting and contradicting everyone like the logical robot that he was. And Leonard adored the very air Spock breathed.

The message from Jim, sent on their three respective communicators, took Spock, Scotty and Leonard completely by surprise.

“Gentlemen, grant me the favour of dining with me, tonight at 6 PM, our private area in the observation lounge. Dress uniform is required.”

Leonard felt unusually nervous after reading that message. He felt something important was about to happen; he had no idea what Jim was plotting, but he was sure as hell that the respective dinner was going to change his life – all their lives.

He went to his cabin and shaved, he even brushed his teeth and he dressed in the requested uniform, which he hated, but which suited him very well. It was light-blue with golden stripes and it enhanced the beautiful blue colour of his eyes.

Leonard did not think of himself as ‘good-looking’ but he was overwhelmed by the fact that Spock… liked him – as useless as that was now. He could not help but think that the last time he had dressed up ‘nicely’ was to attempt and ‘woo’ Spock.

He was the last to arrive at the dinner table. He could feel Spock’s eyes on him, but he ignored him and looked away, busying himself with pouring a glass of water and chatting with Jim for a moment, in order to sort his own emotions.

“Please, let’s eat, gentlemen. I missed your company and I am very hungry!!” Jim said, trying to sound light-hearted and jovial. “I have replicated the favourite foods of each of you, to the best of my abilities, which means I have replicated a Big MAC for myself and you may not forbid it, Bones,” he added, and this time he did manage to make everyone smile.

They ate chatting all kinds of nonsense, generated mostly by Jim; Scotty was silent and looked extremely tired; Spock looked curious and he mostly stared at Leonard, who was trying his best to appear cheerful, no matter how damn hard it was; Jim was trying to make a good thing here – no matter if no one knew what it was – Leonard tried to be supportive.

“Computer, lock the door and override,” Jim said, all of a sudden. “Authorisation Kirk-alpha-epsilon 2230. Stop recording. Gentlemen, do not look so worried. I am doing this because I want to make sure that everything which is to be discussed and done from this moment on – remains between these walls. I will of course release the door at the appropriate moment or Bones can simply override it.”

“Okay, this is getting weird, here,” Leonard protested.

“I, too, agree,” Spock finally managed to utter something for the first time that evening.

“It is time I apologized for what I have done,” Jim said. “Scotty, my friend and colleague and Lieutenant and Chief-Engineer, you were right in everything that you told me when I received that mission. You were doing your duty, your job in an exemplary manner and I should have listened to your advice. I have insulted you and hurt you and I am sorry.”

“Thanks,” Scotty murmured, looking towards his own plate. “I appreciate.”

“I have taken one of torpedoes to the shuttle-bay one for us to work on it tomorrow. To x-ray it with Leonard’s help, dismember it with your expertise, Scotty, and see what it is all about with your help, Spock.”

There were murmurs of approval. Jim came closer to Leonard.

“What does Pike say?” he asked Jim, wanting to know if there was any progress in that direction.

“Admiral Pike said I should follow my intuition and do what I think it is right.”

Leonard could not hide a small smile.

“Therefore,” Jim continued, visibly troubled – “I am going to wholeheartedly go ahead with my plan, because this is what I think it is right. Spock, the consequences of my words and actions were most severe for you and Leonard. Scotty was troubled and hurt by me; my words and actions alone have hurt him enough to have done… that. I humbly ask for your forgiveness for what I have done – and especially for what I am going to do now.”

Spock gave him a confused and worried look.

But then, all of a sudden, Jim wrapped an arm tight around Leonard’s neck and grabbed him by his hair with his free hand; in the next second, he kissed him – hard, with passion, with lust – fabricated or genuine, it was impossible to say – he kissed him forcefully, not letting Leonard any chance to escape his tight grip. All the while, he had made sure that Spock had a good angle to view everything in detail.

Jim had counted on the effect of surprise because he knew his friend well – and indeed so, Leonard had simply… frozen in his arms, incapable of moving, not even rejecting him, just remaining still like a statue.

Spock felt fury and angst build up to such intensities in his heart, in his mind, in his entire being, that it was simply impossible to endure anything anymore. Jim, his Captain, his friend – friend? – was kissing his mate! He was touching Leonard and kissing him and – kissing him! No! Why was someone else touching his Chosen One, why? He would not allow it, he will destroy – he will tear to pieces the person daring to touch his beloved, his Leonard – Leonard Was His!!!

He stood up, slowly, gathering force and energy as he advanced towards them. His claim on Leonard was put to the hardest test – his claim on Leonard took precedence over E V E R Y T H I N G ! His strong mind pushed away the unnatural bond which had connected without his will, discarding Scotty’s presence; he was not even aware of Scotty’s scream of pain, who had collapsed on the floor, in agony; no. He saw no one but Leonard; heard no one but Leonard; wanted no one else.

He took a fistful of Jim’s hair and separated him from Leonard, throwing the Captain violently against a wall.

“Leonard Is Mine,” he said, his eyes burning, he wanted to just smash Jim into pieces right there and then! How did he dare touch what was his?!

Leonard finally came to his senses and rushed to Spock, taking his arm, not knowing what to do – Spock was on the verge of killing two people here! The mild touch diverted Spock’s attention from Jim towards Leonard.

“You will kneel,” Spock commanded, his voice strong and his eyes still burning.

Leonard simply collapsed at his feet, looking downwards, his own heart trembling in awe, bursting with love and adoration and one million other unnamed feelings.

“Look at me,” the next order came.

Leonard obeyed immediately.

Spock placed his fingers on Leonard’s face with one sharp, violent and precise gesture.

“Leonard McCoy, parted from me and never parted, I am claiming you as my bondmate, you will submit to me until the hour of your death. Do you have anything to say?”

“I accept your claim and I give you my love and my mind and my submission. Forever,” Leonard managed to say, a phrase which he had rehearsed in his head one hundred times already, a phrase which he thought he would never get to say out loud.

Spock gathered all his remaining energy and completed the bond, tying Leonard to himself forever with a bridge of burning love, that could not be undone by anyone. He watched with awe and satisfaction as Leonard’s consciousness embraced the bond greedily, almost with… despair, they were together, the rightful bondmates, the star-crossed lovers who surpassed every obstacle… Leonard started to cry.

Together.

Together.

Together!

“Who am I, Leonard?” Spock asked on a strict, harsh tone, which lacked warmth and tenderness – now there was not the time for these things.

Leonard needed a moment to understand, to find within his own consciousness the answer to the question.

“You are my master and bondmate.”

The answer seemed to be the correct one, for Spock’s expression softened.

“I am your Master,” Leonard, Spock acknowledged – “and this is how you shall call me from this day on.”

Leonard could not utter anything else anymore, choked with emotions. He merely smiled.

“Now stand up, Leonard. You may attend to the Captain’s needs, whose arm I have broken, and I must see if Mr. Scott is still alive.”

Leonard zoomed back to reality and got up – he had Spock back!!! – or rather, Spock had _him_ back!!!

Scotty had collapsed on the floor, barely breathing anymore. Spock went and lifted him up easily as if he weighed nothing, taking him to the couch. He turned his head to one side, looking straight into his eyes.

“I will never again meld with you, so you will have to talk and tell me what you feel. Does your head hurt?”

Scotty nodded affirmatively.

“Words, Mr. Scott.”

“Yes. Hurts. It is fine.”

“Are there any bond residues in your mind?”

“Yes. Do not worry for me. Pain is pain. Just that.”

“Please do not utter philosophical nonsense in front of me, Mr. Scott. Know that I need time to forgive what you have done, therefore be warned and generally try to stay out of my sight.”

“Yes, Spock,” Scotty murmured brokenly. No one would ever know the extent of his pain, but he was determined to obtain Spock’s forgiveness and re-earn his friendship one way or another; no effort would be too big, no matter if, for that, he would have to step all over his own soul and brighten every little dark side which still lingered. There was hope. There was always hope. Even if it hurt.

“We shall take the Captain and Mr. Scott to the Medical Bay. Mr. Scott shall be put to sleep, his mind needs to disconnect in order for the shock of the bond-breaking to pass. Then, we shall retire to our room.”

“Yes, Master,” Leonard said on a calm and beautiful tone – even if his heart-beat accelerated severely with anticipation and… hopes. He will be with Spock, he will be with Spock… alone… and as he thought of this, the bond started to pulsate brightly in his mind, his own skin felt warmer, the ‘doctor’ within himself understood quite quickly that he was running a fever – it was the way of the bond.

Not long after, Spock took his hand and together they walked to his quarters and inside. Leonard had never been here but a certain feeling of familiarity and comfort engulfed him as soon as he entered that room.

Spock cupped his face and kissed his lips arduously, time and time again, as if he wanted to kiss the very essence of his life, the air which Leonard breathed. Leonard could feel his love and it was immense and overwhelming; in order to have him, Spock had nearly killed two of his closest crew-mates and friends.

“Yes. I would kill for you. Now stop thinking of Jim.”

Leonard smiled against his lips – it was a shy smile; he knew that Spock had no sexual experience whatsoever, whilst Leonard had actually gone through a previous marriage. But it looked like it did not matter right now. Spock’s lack of experience wasn’t showing. He was undressing Leonard with hungry, impatient gestures, that did not remind Leonard of the logical, self-controlled ‘robot’ he used to know; no, this was someone who was burning for him.

“Burning, yes.” Spock said. “The bond is aflame.”

Leonard’s coat vanished quickly and also his black t-shirt; his neck was immediately covered with bites and kisses and quite soon he found himself on the bed, with Spock heavily laying over him, kissing every inch of skin which was revealed.

“Please, slowly, it has been a very long time,” Leonard murmured.

He immediately felt Spock’s fingers on his cheek, probing, searching, searching, with jealousy, possessiveness, but also with care.

“Never with a man – before, yes?” Spock asked, wanting to be sure, even though he had not found any memory of Leonard being with another male before him.

“No, never. Just my ex-wife,” Leonard replied sincerely.

Spock was torn between his instinct of just… claiming his rightful mate in the traditional way; he wanted to flip him over and take him roughly and… tame him, but there was nothing to tame here, because Leonard was mild and warm and responsive, but not too much – he was exactly as he was supposed to, letting Spock take the lead and do all he wanted.

It was in that very moment that Spock decided to never allow the basic, ancient instincts take over and to rule over him to such a degree that he would get to eventually hurt Leonard. He will never hurt Leonard – he swore to himself. Not now, nor during the Time – never. He would rather die.

After having extracted the necessary information from Leonard’s mind – about how exactly _this worked_ for human males, Spock used his own hard member, naturally lubricated, as well as his fingers to slowly, but firmly prepare Leonard for intercourse. The way Leonard reacted… the way he had wrapped one leg around his waist and his arms around his torso, murmuring words of love and kissing him with shy gestures! It made everything inside Spock just _burn, burn_ – but at the same time it strengthened his decision not to ever bring him any harm.

He slowly took him, watching his mate breathe deeply as their bodies adjusted to one another; and for the next hours their bodies remained joined, with Spock barely moving inside him; their lips locked together in an endless kiss; Spock’s fingers had instinctively aligned back on his cheek, not to probe, but to share, to give, to live together; it was not a traditional Vulcan claiming; no, Spock felt for the first time in his life what it meant to _make love_. He would learn and give Leonard pleasure and experiment and taste; each night from now on, Leonard was his to enjoy, his to love.

Leonard. Leonard. Leonard belonged to him!


	5. At Your Feet

Leonard woke up next morning in Spock’s arms and it was the most beautiful, the most fulfilling feeling ever; Spock was caressing his cheek, over the meld points, and their minds were softly connected; he could sense Spock’s love, power, strength and authority. He felt safe and wanted and cared for – and every single part in his body felt achy.

The computer pleasantly announced that the alpha shift would commence in thirty minutes.

“I love you,” Leonard said, instead of _good morning_ or _gosh, we are late._

“So do I, Leonard,” Spock murmured back, kissing him over and over again. He released him only when he was certain they were going to be late otherwise.

“I think I will have to go the Bridge. The Captain and the Chief Engineer are once more… disabled.”

“Yeah, you disabled them last night,” Leonard giggled. He was so happy!!! He could not help but be light about everything.

Spock got out of the bed and started to dress – and Leonard had no choice but to do the same thing. When they were ready, Leonard just followed his instinct and went to Spock, kneeling in front of him as he had done during the claiming, one evening before.

Spock ran one hand through his hair, slowly, with deep, obvious love.

“Finally mine,” he murmured.

Leonard took his hand and kissed it with devotion.

There was so much love, so much love, that they both felt there was absolutely nothing that could ever destroy it!

<Five minutes to the alpha shift> \- the synthetic computer voice announced.

“I will be on the Bridge,” Spock said, not without regret. He wished he had had Leonard for himself for a few days maybe, but there was no chance, not under the given circumstances, not with Jim so… agitated and Scotty in such a precarious condition. “Please send me a report about how they feel.”

“Sure. By the way… yesterday evening you said that I should call you _Master_ from this day on. How must I call you when we are on duty?”

“ _Commander_ , or _Listen You_ , or _Damn Computer_ , Spock smiled, remembering all those moments of friendly banter and jokes that he did not want to give up to, it would have been a pity to just alter Leonard’s personality! “Just be yourself, Leonard, and simply remember whom do you belong to.”

Leonard kissed his hand again and they finally managed to go to the Bridge and respectively to the Medical Bay.

It felt difficult for Leonard to talk to Scotty, even though he knew it was unavoidable. Scotty had woken up and he was sitting cross-legged on the biobed, looking at Leonard doing various things through the Medical Bay and mostly hovering over Jim – who was sound asleep.

“Hi.”

“Hello, Mr. Scott,” Leonard decided to keep it official.

“ _Mr. Scott_? Okay, I probably deserve that.”

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.”

Leonard proceeded to scan him thoroughly and ordered a MRI and other imagistic tests.

“Leonard, you know this is useless. You know very well why my head hurts.”

“…also, take blood samples and run the following tests,” Leonard continued to convey orders regarding Scotty’s health to his assistant, sort-of ignoring Scotty, because it was just too difficult to talk to him.

“Leonard,” Scotty insisted.

“What, Scotty, what?” Leonard finally turned towards him exasperated.

“I know you cannot stand me. Still, I wanted to ask you to forgive me, if you can.”

“It is not my place to –“

“Leonard, please.”

Leonard sighed. No matter how he tried to avoid this, it was just not working anymore, he had to talk to him and he could not utter polite non-sense, it was not like him to do that; for God’s sake, they… had been friends.

“I know, Scotty, don’t you think I know that the cause of your headaches is not medical? But perhaps I can at least alleviate some of the symptoms.”

“I want to tell you something, Leonard. There are bond residues in my head, I still feel a connection to him. It is only fair that you know… Leonard, you are turning pale.”

“Huh? Sorry. It is not something I can digest easily.”

“I know you want him only for yourself and it is your right to do so. Perhaps we could go to New Vulcan to talk to his Father? Or I could go by myself. I would have this cleaned, I do not want to be in the way.”

“He does not even want to hear the words _New Vulcan_ and _Sarek_.”

“You think I could talk to him and convince him?”

Leonard looked away and didn’t answer – this was another idea he disliked, them being alone and talking. He was jealous. He shouldn’t be. But he was.

“Leonard, please listen to me. I will not talk to him outside ship operations, nothing at all. I will not talk to him in the least unless you are okay and comfortable with it.”

“Dammit, man!! No, I do not feel okay and comfortable with it. But life is rarely okay and comfortable, so go ahead and fix this. Two things, Scotty: first, I want the bond residues removed from your mind. And second… I need time, okay? I need a bit of time to process all this.”

Scotty smiled with sadness.

“I want to make things right, Leo.”

“You have my permission to talk to Spock outside duty hours,” Leonard said, a bit formally – but it was necessary to be so, sometimes.

“Thank you, Leonard. I will not let you down – never again, I promise.”

And Leonard felt he was being honest. Whatever life threw at them next, they would face everything… somehow. He left Scotty rest and took his communicator.

<Mr. Scott wishes to speak to you.> he texted Spock, whilst sending him the medical reports on the current condition of both the Captain and the Chief Engineer, as he had been requested to do.

<I have nothing to discuss with Mr. Scott.> the reply came, and Leonard just stared at the message for a while.

<He has asked for my ‘permission’ to talk to you. He has severe headaches and I cannot continue to give him pain suppressants all the time. Please, do talk to him.>

<Perhaps I shall, but only because you ask me to.>

Leonard was pleased with what he had obtained and decided not to push it any further. Experience had shown that insisting on solving a problem in an unnatural way never brought anything good. So he went about his usual routine and attended to Jim. He conveniently scheduled the surgery to repair his broken arm at noon, making sure that Spock and Scotty would run into each other in the cafeteria.

Spock missed Leonard! But he also knew he was in the operating theatre. He went to the observation room, to catch a glimpse of him – and then he finally went to the lunch area.

Scotty stood up upon seeing him.

Spock did not, really did not want to do this, but at the same time he did not want to sadden Leonard and he decided to get this over with. Therefore, he came to the table.

“Sit down, Mr. Scott,” he ordered – and Scotty complied immediately. “I was told you wanted to talk to me.”

“Very much so, sir.”

“Well? I am listening.”

Scotty thought that Spock was not making this any easier – on the contrary, it was awkward and painful at all levels. But he had to go on with it.

“I want to apologize, Mr. Spock, if you…”

“No. I do not accept your apologies.”

Scotty took a deep breath – it was understandable.

“Mr. Spock, please. You have a hold over me, you know it, you can feel it, there are still traces of the bond in my mind and they burn me every second, like the flames of hell. But this is not the thing. Your forgiveness, at whatever cost, matters for me more than anything – I will stop at nothing to obtain it – I will do whatever it takes, whatever you ask of me. Please.”

“At… _whatever cost_?” Spock inquired coldly, studying him.

“At whatever cost. If there is anything I can do to earn your forgiveness – it is yours to ask.”

“You are offering me your submission, Mr. Scott?” Spock asked, on a cold and merciless tone.

“Yes. I am offering you my life – “

“No, no,” Spock stopped him. “Do not offer me your life. I do not want it.”

“I will do anything,” Scotty said again, with hope. Spock was not a cruel being. He would forgive him in time! And he was, indeed, ready to fight in order to obtain his forgiveness.

“First, re-earn Leonard’s friendship and his heart. When you do so, we shall have another dialogue. Until then, do not address me outside ship operations in any way.”

“Yes, Sir,” Scotty replied, decidedly.

Spock no longer felt hungry. He got up and went out of the cafeteria, to Medical Bay, and locked himself in Leonard’s office – he needed to be alone for a moment, but at the same time in close proximity of his bondmate – who indeed arrived some thirty minutes later.

“Master,” Leonard said warmly, wondering at the same time if _the meeting_ had taken place.

Spock rubbed his face tiredly and when he felt Leonard sitting down near him on the sofa, he turned towards him and connected a meld, sharing with him the conversation he had just had with Scotty. He wanted to have absolutely no secrets – Leonard would always know everything.

Leonard remained silent, contemplating the dialogue.

“You… want me to forgive him, don’t you, Master?”

“No, Leonard. I want you to do how you feel, and not how I want, in the present situation. If YOU forgive him, I will, too. If not. I will not either. And if you do not feel comfortable around him, then he will not be a part of our life.”

“I don’t think I will ever be… comfortable again, it is difficult to explain, but at the same time I do not want him to go through this. I mean it is just… he is our friend. It has always been the four of us. He made a mistake, I don’t know…”

“What worries you, Leonard, given the present situation?”

“The fact that there are bond residues in his mind.”

“We cannot be certain that there are. And I will not meld with him to investigate.”

“Do you believe it is dangerous to meld with him?”

“I will never meld with him again. No matter what.”

“But another Vulcan could? I don’t know… a healer?”

“The only healer left is my Father.”

Leonard paused for a moment, before continuing.

“Master, is it really… completely out of the question to just go to King Sarek and talk to him? Tell him what happened in all honesty and make the proper introductions? I’d like to meet him, you know…? Visit him… see the house in which you grew up…”

Spock knew very well that this moment could not be avoided forever – which did not mean he wasn’t dreading it.

“I wish you didn’t ask this of me, but it is well within your right.”

“Master, life is not worth living in heartache and tensions. Especially when you love those people you do not speak to, like I know you love your Father. And I am sure he does, too.”

Spock covered his stomach with his arm; painful memories were causing him sudden ache, physical, soul-wrenching and unavoidable.

“Leonard… please, call Scotty and Jim here. If we are to go and see Father, we cannot go in this current state.”

Leonard took the communicator to page their two friends, but before doing so, he looked at Spock who seemed so troubled and asked himself for a moment – perhaps he was asking too much of him? The mere idea of going to see Sarek seemed to put Spock under enormous pressure.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It is your right to ask and my duty to obey. Please forgive me.”

Spock cupped his face, looking deeply into his eyes, with love and understanding. He did not want to transform Leonard into a mindless slave who only obeyed orders, a doll for his pleasures and moods.

“It is I who should apologize, Leonard. You have the obligation to obey me, as this is the nature of the bond, but you also have rights and privileges. I have placed our bond in difficult conditions and under extreme pressure, I was so afraid that I would lose you. You want to meet Sarek and so you shall. Just be mindful of the fact that he will immediately know what happened, he only needs to touch me for a second. He may disapprove of us and even attempt to separate us. He may also punish me harshly for the state Mr. Scott is in. The laws of Vulcan completely forbid to harm another being by means of melding of by bond creation. A bond breaking is a sacrilege.”

“If that is so, then he will not attempt to separate us,” Leonard said whilst texting Scotty and Jim.

“He makes the laws, Leonard. He can do whatever he wants.”

“I saw him upon that terrible day when Vulcan was destroyed. He did not strike me as a cruel, arbitrarily-ruling king who does whatever he wants, but rather whatever it is… needed. He spent hours and hours on end with me in Medical, helping me attend to the survivors and lending a hand.”

“Yes. Are they coming?” Spock changed the subject because he could only endure so much.

Minutes later, Scotty and Jim entered Leonard’s office. Scotty remained near the door, shy, looking downwards.

“Scotty,” Leonard began. “I think I am not mistaken when I say that we are all here in order to attempt to fix our… wounds, those which we inflicted to one another. I wanted you to know that I have forgiven you for everything. I am trying my best to be a good mate to Spock and for this reason I shall not give you a hug, but… well… consider it a theoretical hug.”

Scotty smiled shyly and lifted his head to look at Spock, fearfully.

“You may answer him,” Spock said.

“Thank you, Leonard,” Scotty said. “I appreciate it greatly and know that I will cherish this gift, your forgiveness which comes from your kind heart, for as long as I live.” He then looked at Spock, with the same fearful look, worried and wondering if he hadn’t said or done something wrong…                                                                                                                                                                                                

“Come to me, come on,” Spock told Scotty as calmly as he could, standing up.

Scotty came to him slowly, as if each step was hurting him – and perhaps it was just that. Perhaps each step did hurt him. He arrived in front of Spock and with the same mild and painful gestures, he knelt in front of him, looking downwards.

Spock could not say anything for a moment, contemplating the fallen being in front of him – he would indeed stop at nothing to obtain his forgiveness. Spock appreciated it. Kneeling in front of another is never easy – it requires tremendous inner strength and the will to do whatever it took to make things right.

Jim was looking at the entire scene thoughtfully. So this was what love meant – and not necessarily romantic love – Scotty loved Spock – hell, who didn’t love Spock? It felt so… normal to see Scotty on his knees in front of Spock. And also Leonard, one day before. It was not atrocious and abominable. Relationships of this kind could exist, Jim thought, and they did not mean that the respective people were satisfying a kink of some sort like in some fan-fiction stories. There were masters and there were beings which were capable of kneeling down in front of them, and that did not make them weak or ridiculous. It made them stronger.

Spock lifted Scotty’s chin with one finger.

“I respect your work on the ship and the scientific research you undergo. You are a precious human being, capable of great deeds. Sometimes, the rash decisions take the better of you and you just… lose it, as you, humans, put it. If you are to re-earn my trust, Mr. Scott, you will learn to never ‘lose it’ again. I will be here to help. Earlier, you said you were willing to do anything to earn my forgiveness.”

“Yes, Mr. Spock. I still am.”

“Then what I am asking for is your submission. Pure, unconditional, without questions. I command, you do immediately.”

Spock could feel Leonard tense near them, yes – this was not easy to ‘digest’ for his mate, he knew it very well; still, if they were to reach some balance, this was necessary.

“You have my complete and unconditional submission, Mr. Spock.”

“I would give you the Kafeh bond, which makes you my servant under Vulcan law; I would log the bond, just like I logged my marriage bond with Leonard. All Vulcan bonds are recognized throughout the Federation. But this would require melding and I already said I would never again meld with you.”

“I am human; I do not necessarily need a bond to give you my submission. I am honoured and humbled by the _possibility_ of the bond, as I would by its very reality. Nobody will look into my mind to see if the actual bond is there or not. So please, Mr. Spock… Master, if I may call you thus. Consider me your Kafeh and log the bond if you so wish.”

Spock looked at Jim for a second. Jim signalled him to be at ease; he understood what was going on here; he would take care of all the legal aspects.

“Very well, Mr. Scott. We shall see how this works.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Spock turned towards Leonard.

“Do you have MRI readings of his brain?”

“Yes, of course, Master. There is no visible anomaly, but the brainwaves are abnormal and there is enhanced activity in the hippocampus.”

Spock frowned. Without touching Scotty, he looked straight into his eyes, deeply, strongly, a piercing, demanding look.

//Mr. Scott?// he asked within his own mind.

//Yes, Master,// the answer came, clear as if it would have been spoken out loud.

Except it hadn’t been. Spock had a fully functional telepath at his feet.


	6. Forbidden Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start by believing me when I say that you do not have to do anything to deserve to be in my life or to have my love. You have it no matter what, and you will forever have it. It is yours.

“Greetings, Admiral,” Jim began nervously, staring at him through the small panel of his personal communications console and barely refraining himself from childishly kissing the display.

“James,” came the answer, warm and not very protocolary.

Jim skipped a heart-beat. His given name, spoken by him.

“We… um… will be home in a few hours.”

“Yes, I know.”

There was a strange, warm silence between the dialogues; it did not feel uncomfortable; Chris pike seemed… understanding, perhaps apprehensive.

“Do I…”

“Do not ask any sensitive questions over subspace, James.”

“I am going to fall very ill, Captain Pike,” Jim said, calling him as he had always had, despite of Pike having gotten a promotion and being the third most important person in Starfleet, after Marcus and Archer. “I am going to – I feel I am simply falling through a dark abyss, I cannot say more. But you were always there to catch me and your hand was always the one which reached out to help me out of the stupidest things and situations. And right now… I cannot say anything, and I cannot stop this… falling.”

“You are wrong, James.”

“Am I?” he murmured, his own heart sinking.

“Yes.”

“None of us says anything clear in this conversation. Only metaphors and half-truths.”

“I will wait for you when you land.”

He had said it so simply ad beautifully that Jim knew that very instant that _there was something there_ , something deep and important. Something that could not be put into words.

“You… will?” he asked, and felt stupid immediately after, like a child needing extra-reassurance that Santa would come and bring him gifts.

“I shall. Breathe deeply and look at me, James.”

Jim did exactly that, he took a deep breath and looked straight into his eyes.

“You are not going to go on the mission drafted by Marcus.”

“Huh? Should we… I don’t know… is it really safe to discuss this over subspace?”

“Yes, it is, but far less dangerous than what you were about to tell me in the first place.”

Jim smiled with sadness, realizing he may never find the courage to tell Him – his mentor and god – how he felt.”

“And are you so sure you knew what I was about to tell you?” he asked with a bit of cockiness, because he was James Kirk, after all.

“I am absolutely sure.”

“How come? Why? How?”

“Because I know you. And because I am not blind. Now, about the mission…”

“Fuck the mission, we dismembered the torpedo, there are a few very interesting elements about it, I shall explain everything when I get home.”

“James,” Chris said warningly. “Remember who you are talking to.”

“My apologies, Sir,” Jim murmured, looking downwards and feeling lower and lower by the second.

“I dislike bad language and an overly superficial approach upon the missions. We do not _fuck the mission_ and most importantly, we do not _fuck it up_.”

“No, Sir.”

“I will personally assign you another mission, of a greater importance, more delicate and much more urgent. Meanwhile, I shall have the chance to look through the report about whatever you found inside that torpedo.”

“Ah. I suppose this is why you are waiting for me.”

Chris just smiled.

“Good night, James.”

 

Spock’s heart ached strongly when he thought about the forthcoming, unavoidable challenge, that of seeing his Father in the near future. He could not avoid Sarek forever – he was his only child and heir, Sarek had no one but him to rely on in old age. Sarek had been through a lot – he had lost his bondmate, Amanda – Spock’s mother, during the Terrible Day when the planet Vulcan had been destroyed.

Spock had decided not to participate in his efforts of reconstruction. He had done his best. He simply wanted to get on with his life and his career – and to be near Leonard, who – at that point – was out of reach (or so he thought). He had no idea if Sarek had felt hurt or betrayed by his decision not to quit Starfleet – he had been tempted to do so for a while, but then again, he just wanted to live his own life. At times, he could feel disappointment and sadness leaking through the parental bond they were sharing. Sarek had never reproached him anything. But Spock had enough to reproach to his own self. And now, late as it was, guilt had started to creep in, along with the stubborn idea that he would never be able to _make things right_ ever again.

“A penny for your thoughts…” Leonard murmured.

No, he would not sadden his beloved with such thoughts, but still, he could not lie.

“I was thinking about Father.”

“When are we going?” Leonard inquired excitedly.

“I do not know yet. How can you be so excited? You should be terrified.”

“I am a bit apprehensive, yes, but not terrified. I know him to be a good man. And I know for sure he wants what is best for you, like any parent for his children.”

“I have disappointed him one too many times. And I am still his heir, Leonard… you must not forget that he is not just anyone. He is the King of Vulcan.”

“Okay, so he may take some convincing. And don’t tell me he will be against us just because I am a male and I cannot give birth to children. There are solutions to this nowadays if… I mean if you… he… you know, if children are… _needed._ ”

“Oh, Leonard,” Spock said, his own heart melting. “If we are to have children, one day, it will not be because my Father wishes so, but because _we_ want it.”

“And… do you want?” he asked carefully, it was a delicate question.

“I do. But not in space… a spaceship is not a proper place to raise children.”

“I agree. So… at some point, do you see us settling down somewhere on solid ground?”

“I have not thought about the distant future yet, and by that, I mean farther from next year. So many things have happened and I have been amiss in my meditations. I want us to go through my next Ponn Farr well, with no incidents…”

“Oh my God, right! But you do not exhibit any signs.”

“It is still far, ten to twelve months. And I do not wish to discuss the matter at all, until it is close.”

“Oh? Okay…” Leonard said, taken aback. He thought that perhaps Spock was nervous about that week of fire – the week of Ponn Farr each Vulcan had to go through, with their chosen one, for one week. That was it, he was sure. Spock was nervous.

He then realised that Spock had said – his _next_ Ponn Farr.

“Master, forgive me, but… who was the lucky person who went with you through the previous Ponn Farr?”

Spock’s eyes darkened.

“Leonard, you will not ask this question ever again.”

“I am sorry. Forgive me, Master,” Leonard said taken aback, realizing he had trespassed into a territory he had not been allowed. He knew for sure that Spock hadn’t been with another partner before him, there were biological signs. Something else must have happened. Leonard knew that some Vulcans, in the absence of a partner, would attempt meditation or other means to survive the week of fire. Spock must have undergone such a path, he was sure.

 

Spock chased away the dark thoughts that had overwhelmed him and pulled Leonard in his arms. He had already spent many nights loving him, loving him, loving him… and his thirst, his hunger of him was not diminishing in the least. They would spend most of their free time making love, and none of them seemed to mind.

“You see how my mind flows into yours?” Spock murmured, his lips against Leonard’s as if he wanted to absorb his every breath.

“I can feel it, yes… flows like a river… okay, silly metaphor, but this is how I perceive it, fluid, clear, clean… and going two ways. What a wondrous thing a meld is, Master… I wish we could meld all day.”

“Yes. There is nothing more blissful for me either. Your mind, Leonard, my love, is my home. Within your mind I can rest, I can…feel, I can simply be myself.”

“I still feel some far away shields,” Leonard said carefully, because he did not want to overstep.

“True. There are places within my own mind I myself do not dare to go, perhaps because I would just… cease to exist. There are forbidden doors within each of us. An area that remains private. Should it be revealed, I think it would harm us beyond repair. This is why I cannot discuss my previous Ponn Farr.”

Leonard remained silent, contemplating those words. There were dark shadows within himself too – and quite so, he did not dare investigate them in the least. The Demons, he used to call them. The untamed demons.

“I used to drink,” Leonard confessed.

“Alcohol, yes?” Spock inquired, feeling the need for a clarification, because it was a habit he really did not understand.

“Yes. And I smoke.”

Spock’s eye-brows shot up.

“You smoke… cigarettes?  Nicotine?”

“Yes, well, I haven’t, lately. Ever since I… we… ever since you claimed me, I haven’t been smoking. I wanted to make some kind of a sacrifice, to prove myself a bit worthy of you and to honour my love. A bit pathetic, I know.”

Spock leaned to kiss him.

“This is a very precious gift you have offered me, Leonard. Nicotine is extremely harmful for Vulcans. It severely alters the nervous system, it acts as a telepathic inhibitor and it numbs all sense of logic.”

“Ha! Very useful information.”

“Not to mention the hoarse voice and the bad breath.  I cannot even think of kissing my beautiful Leonard who would be smelling like nicotine all over.”

“You really find me beautiful?”

Spock smiled.

“Leonard, I find you the most beautiful being which exists. Beautiful and splendid and sublime.”

“And… aesthetically pleasing, no?”

They both started to laugh and collapsed out of the bed on the floor.

“Very aesthetically pleasing,” Spock confirmed and then he proceeded to show him again just how aesthetically pleasing he found him, kissing every single inch of him and continuing by claiming him again, because… he just could not have enough of him.

It was 3:30 in the morning when Leonard finally collapsed, exhausted, and fell asleep. Spock spent a while simply gazing at him lovingly; then, because he did not feel the need to sleep at all, he took a shower, got dressed and went to the cafeteria with a couple of padds. Loving Leonard was absolutely blissful; but beings also needed to work in order to maintain inner and outer health, he thought. Love was at its highest when in harmony with work, with duty. Love and discipline. Lack of control and self-control.

Spock took a cup of coffee from the replicator machine and looked through the cafeteria for a place to sit down. He saw Scotty sitting alone at a table and working.

//You are up early, Mr. Scott,// Spock transmitted telepathically.

Scotty choked on the sip of tea and looked up. Then he promptly stood up – that was his master coming into the room and he wanted to show him the appropriate respect.

Spock calmly went to his table and sat down on the other side.

“Sit.”

Scotty retook his seat, fidgeting nervously and uselessly rearranging his tea and padd and crayons. He refrained from transmitting anything telepathically because he did not know if Spock actually wanted to communicate this way.

//How is Leonard treating you?//

//A bit harshly, but it is understandable. He has been through a lot and he needs time to forget.//

//Truly so. What are you doing up?//

//I could not sleep, Master. My head hurts. I prefer to work.//

Spock knew Scotty was not lying. His head hurt in permanence and he knew there was only one way to fix this.

Spock took his padd. Since Scotty was his Kafeh, there could be no secrets and no persona possessions. Everything Scotty did and owned – belonged to Spock. This time, Spock was just curious to see what could Scotty possibly work on, or read, so late into the night.

Crew rotations. The most boring thing ever!

But there was something fascinating to discover even in the most boring things, if only you took time to look carefully. Spock noticed that Scotty was not matching the crew rotation schedules automatically. It was a manual process.

“How do you do this? It takes the Computer full five hours on the i21 processor to accomplish this task.”

“I do it in my head. It is much faster. Computers can’t do all… even though sometimes I wish they would.”

Spock reread all the information on the padd, marvelling at Scotty’s intelligence. Somehow, he felt… content, proud almost – that he owned this being.

“Try to text me rather than using the telepathic communication,” Spock said, trying to establish some general guidelines for their relationship.  “Telepathy is trying to the human brain and I do not want you to have stronger headaches.”

“Why? I deserve them.”

“I decide what you deserve and what you do not deserve, Mr. Scott.”

“Yes, Master,” he said quickly because he did not like the harsher accents in Spock’s voice.

Pleased at the answer, Spock returned to his room – he could feel Leonard starting to wake up and he wanted to embrace him and kiss him. He entered the room as silently as he could and he started preparing breakfast.

“Where have you been, you, sleepless hobgoblin?”

“To the cafeteria,” Spock replied amused. Leonard was becoming… himself! And no matter how he liked protocol and discipline, he liked Leonard just the way he was.

“What did you do there?”

“I drank something and I talked to Mr. Scott who also could not sleep.”

Jealously, bitter and painful, crept into Leonard’s soul, reflecting through the bond. He covered him self with the blanket pulling it over his head, wanting to hide. He knew Spock was truthful to him and would never cheat on him; but jealousy was something irrational and impossible to control.

“Leonard, no. Come here and kneel.”

Leonard complied unhappily, getting out of the bed with sleepy, messy moves and kneeling at Spock’s feet, looking downwards.

Spock lifted his head so that he could see his eyes.

“WHY are you jealous, Leonard, why? Have I been so amiss in my duties towards you and to such a degree that I have been unable to convince you of my loyalty and truthfulness, of my love and high regard for you?”

Leonard covered his face with his hands quickly, feeling ashamed and helpless at the same time.

“I don’t know… I am sorry, Master. I try to control it but the truth is, I can’t. Jealousy and rationality have nothing in common. It is something that comes from my lack of trust in… myself, not in yourself.”

“Why?” Spock asked, truly not understanding.

“I do not find myself worthy of you. I am just a broken man, unable to pull himself together, having a failed marriage, not to mention another child, we haven’t even talked about Joanna Lynn-Marie… my past is dubious, my present is… messy, I just…”

“Leonard. Stop, look into my eyes. Take a deep breath.”

Leonard did so and his eyes filled with tears.

“Nobody has a perfect life. I also have a dark past, of which I cannot talk to anyone – not even with you. M present is not orderly and perfectly organized, as I wish it would. And the future is uncertain for all of us. Fixing of the problems and healing of the wounds does not happen by mentioning all our problems at the same time and contemplating just how much of a disaster, of a ‘mess’ as you humans put it, our lives have become.”

“How do I start?” Leonard sobbed, wiping his stubborn tears away.

“You start by believing me when I say that you do not have to do anything to deserve to be in my life or to have my love. You have it no matter what, and you will forever have it. It is yours. Trust me, Leonard. I have done terrible things to bring you into my life as my bondmate. I will never give you up.

Leonard smiled, realizing just how shaky his feelings, his self-trust and self-respect were and how much he wanted not to disappoint Spock.

“For your smile I live,” Spock said simply, brushing his thumb over Leonard’s lips, tracing the contour of his smile.

They did not say anything for a while. The moment was intense, their souls were burning. Leonard felt true, complete happiness was possible for him. He wanted to begin addressing and healing all his problems, his ‘issues’ – and there were many. He wanted Spock’s help but at the same time he did not want to disappoint him.

“We will discuss about Joanna as soon as we sort out the issues with… with my Father.”

“I do not want to burden you…”

“Leonard, you do not burden me in the least. A child is a joy and not a burden. And if anyone thinks differently, then they are not worthy of being parents. No matter what the future reserves us, you know that my love for you is forever; your child is also mine.”

“Oh my god, Spock, Master… sorrysorry… you are so… how can I even –?”

Spock lifted him up and took him back to bed, holding him tight and letting him cry. Sometimes, crying was important; it washed away the layers of dirt which threatened to obscure the soul. Those were good tears, Spock could feel it. When he thought of the thick, black layer of dust covering his own soul, he also wanted to cry – except he could not. Vulcans do not cry.

He had his own fixing to do, he knew that very well. He had to go to Sarek and… _begin_ somehow. Him too felt unworthy. Him too felt miserable and not fit to stand in front of the being that had given him life. Their bond was complicated; nobody knew just _how far_ the complications went. There were things deep in there that haunted him; things he feared to dwell upon.

But now – he had Leonard to think about. He wanted Leonard to have a beautiful and peaceful existence with no complications. He wanted him to get to know Sarek – perhaps Sarek would get to care for him at some point, to accept him.

Spock took his communicator from the night-stand and connected a call to Jim.

“Captain.”

<Yes, Mr. Spock?>

“I request a five-days leave for personal matters.”

<We shall reach Earth in a few, Mr. Spock, what is your desired destination for your leave?>

“New Vulcan.”

Leonard stirred up in Spock’s arms, hearing that. He felt joyous and apprehensive at the same time.

Spock could actually hear Jim taking a deep breath. Yes, his Father, Sarek, was feared by many.

<Of course, Mr. Spock. Will Leonard accompany you?>

“He will join me as soon as I have my Father’s permission.”

<Very well, permission granted for both of you. I have been informed we will be assigned to a new mission soon. We will most likely be able to drop you off. Now please come to the Bridge both of you for docking procedures. We have arrived.>


	7. The Beautiful King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was beautiful – no, it was an understatement. Sarek was beyond beautiful, he transcended notions such as grace and splendour.

“Captain, may I have your permission, before disembarking, to use the Priority One Subspace Diplomatic Channel to call my Father? I need his permission, in order to make the proper arrangements to visit New Vulcan.”

Jim cringed internally. They had docked and he just wanted to rush out and see if Chris had kept his word and would wait for him… he just could not wait to see him...

“Yes, Mr. Spock, of course. According to the protocol, you should wear the dress uniform.”

“Yes, Captain, I shall go dress. If I may, protocol also states that the call should be initiated by the Starship Captain, also wearing the dress uniform.”

“You are just calling your dad…” Jim tried to protest.

“I am calling King Sarek of Vulcan,” Spock said, as if trying to find a good excuse so as to have Jim by his side.

“Ohhhffffff. Fine? Let’s get dressed. Meet me here in ten.”

Jim just wanted to get this over with as fast as possible. Still, he shaved impeccably and dressed into the protocol uniform. Was Pike waiting for him? Well he’d be damned; if yes, he will go meet him dressed in the shiny armour he was wearing. Chris loved good manners and protocol. Perhaps… he would like him like this?

He wanted to laugh at himself. Chris – would _like_ him? Still, Jim could not help but hope and take every chance to earn at least… one smile, if nothing more was possible.

He finished dressing and returned to the Bridge. He sat down on the commanding chair and began to input the necessary commands in order to connect to King Sarek.

After the terrible tragedy which had consumed the planet Vulcan and destroyed nearly all of his inhabitants, King Sarek had taken extreme security measures in order to protect the survivors and the remaining heritage.

Several minutes passed until the King’s attendants and secretary were making the proper arrangements.

Jim felt nervous.

Near him, Spock felt his heartbeat accelerate.

From aside, Leonard was looking at both of them apprehensively.

The view-screen went black and then golden; Jim blinked a few times as the gracious silhouette of the beautiful, noble king appeared on the display.

Jim held his breath for a second – then he stood up.

He was beautiful – no, it was an understatement. Sarek was beyond beautiful, he transcended notions such as grace and splendour; it reminded Jim of the Terran representation of the Angels.

“Greetings, Your Majesty King Sarek,” Jim said. “It is a privilege to talk to you again.”

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek spoke, with a discrete nod.

The seconds during which the two persons, the King and the Captain, just looked at each other, Leonard perceived a torrent of emotions through his bond with Spock: fear, love, hope, expectations, terror, grief, remorse… Leonard carefully observed his bondmate and master, in the eyes of which not even the faintest emotion could be read. It was as if Spock had suddenly transformed into a splendid statue, completely lacking heart and soul.

“Your Majesty, if you allow, my First Officer, Commander Spock wishes to address you…”

Jim was hoping he was not making any protocol mistakes! He was being extremely careful with every word which came out of his mouth.

“I will gladly speak to my son,” Sarek said simply and warmly – as warm as Vulcanly possible, Jim observed. And here they were, fearing to even… _exist_ in front of the great king, who had never given them any reasons for such feelings.

Jim smiled and stepped aside, going near Leonard and exchanging a somewhat worried look with him.

Spock crossed his arms over his chest, his right palm over the back of his left hand and bowed with what Jim perceived as respect and Leonard sensed as profound submission.

“Greetings, Father,” he spoke. His voice did not sound shaky, but again – Leonard perceived fear and worry. What was going on between the son and his father?

“Spock,” Sarek nodded again. “State your request.”

Jim tried to imagine how it would be to hear such a thing from his own father. Good thing he did not have one. Not even a _‘Good to see you’_ or something like that…

“Father, I request your permission to come and see you – and talk to you on personal matters.”

“You may. State the date of your arrival.”

“Forty-eight standard hours from present time.”

Sarek looked outside the screen and made a few adjustments.

“The proper security protocols shall be followed to ensure your safe arrival and disembarking. There will be made no use of transporter technology and you may carry no weapons aboard the shuttle which you would be using. Have one of your chief engineers to completely disable the defensive system.”

“Yes, Father.”

Sarek gave him a strong, piercing look as if having just x-rayed his entire mind and seemingly found it unsatisfactory.

Spock looked downwards.

“End communication,” Sarek said dryly.

Spock remained still for a few moments as if recollecting himself.

“Are you alright, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked worriedly. The dialogue had been calm and almost boring and still – there was a subjacent tension, something unnamed, unspoken, something which had deeply troubled Spock, Jim could tell. If a one-minute conversation was like this, how would a lengthy visit unfold?

“I am well, Captain, thank you for your concern and for your kindness. Also for your patience – I know you have urgent matters to attend to on Earth. Let me know which shuttle I may take and if I may depart tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mr. Spock. You may leave tomorrow. Shuttlecraft one should be okayish. Get Mr. Scott to wash it and get it into sparkling shape, also have him make the necessary adjustments to the firing array.”

“Yes, Captain. Follow me, Leonard,” he then ordered and left the room.

Leonard followed him worriedly.

“Master? Master?”

Spock blinked a few times, just like humans did when they wanted to pull themselves together after a difficult moment.

“Yes, Leonard.”

“Okay, what is going on?”

“We are going to our room.”

“God help me and protect me against literal hobgoblins,” Leonard muttered. “You are in distress and I can feel it.”

Spock took his hand for a few seconds, they were in the turbolift and he could allow himself a moment of tenderness.

“Yes, Leonard. Distress always manifests itself when we are faced with something which we must fix. The relationship between my Father and myself is damaged and it will take effort and care to heal it.”

“You keep saying that and I keep failing to understand.”

“You shall understand, Leonard. I promise. Now, there are important things to discuss. I shall leave tomorrow. I cannot say for how long I shall be gone. It may very well be three days or one week. The separation from you will be distressful for me and you may sense tension and… heartache through the bond. I will ask you to please not worry.”

“How could I not worry? I love you, damn it!”

“I know. Still let me assure you I shall be in no danger. And if extraordinary circumstances shall place me in any danger…”

“No, listen here,” Leonard said firmly, not giving a damn about protocol right now. “IF there is the smallest danger, you must promise me that you shall contact Mr. Scott telepathically through that… thing which connects you and let him know, because otherwise I promise you. If I sense any distress, I am beaming down.”

Spock’s eyes widened.

“You cannot beam down, it is forbidden!”

“Yeah well, _Forbidden_ is my middle name.”

“I am very sure that _Horatio_ is your middle name.”

Leonard started to laugh and hugged him tight – and Spock melted into the embrace.

 

//Master, I feel you are in great distress.//

//Mr. Scott, I have forbidden you to use telepathic communication.//

//You haven’t exactly forbidden; besides, we know very well that I am stubborn and disobedient. What is going on and how can I help?//

//I am busy.//

//You multitask well, I will not shut up unless you tell me what’s up.//

“Master?” Leonard murmured; he had been laying motionless in Spock’s arms for the past half an hour, holding him tight and listening to his heart-beat; Spock had been caressing his hair and there was peace and harmony between them; all of a sudden, Leonard had felt Spock’s heart-beat modify, that was why he had sat up. “Is everything alright?”

“I am talking to Mr. Scott. Just a moment please, Leonard.”

“In your head are you talking?”

“Affirmative.” //I will go see my Father. I am leaving tomorrow.//

//I am coming with you.//

//Mr. Scott!!! That is enough. Nobody is coming with me. Not even Leonard.//

//I sense danger.//

Spock closed his eyes.

//There are dangers and dangers; my Father shall not harm me.//

//If you say so… but anyway! How will you function apart from Leo?//

“He calls you Leo?” Spock asked Leonard, half amused, half confused.

“Myeah, when he does not call me Lion, or Lyo, or Lwoo, or Doc’, or Wassup Doc’ or Listen Here.”

“I need to have a discussion with Mr. Scott.”

“You ARE having a discussion.”

“Oh, right.” //What is the purpose of this communication, Mr. Scott?//

//I am worried for you. And you are worried for yourself and for Leonard too. How can I help?//

Spock felt… better upon perceiving Scotty’s genuine worry and kindness. Scotty had been truthful to his promise; he wanted to serve Spock in every capacity, to be of help to him, even if that meant to be a little impertinent at times. Spock was rather glad that Scotty was no longer petrified in his presence and that he was functioning almost as usual.

//You need to look after Leonard. Upon our separation he will experience great distress. It may be possible that he would not be able to perform his duty aboard the ship. I need you to send me constant updates about him.//

//Deal.//

//Now silence.//

//Yes Master.//

And Scotty indeed ended the communication and went about his work in Engineering.

Leonard had taken advantage of the telepathic communication unfolding in front of his very eyes – he was not privy to what was being discussed but he could observe Spock. So he had taken his tricorder and was scanning his mate.

“What are you doing, Leonard?”

“Research and scientific observation. I wanted to ask you – and I hope you do not mind. How come I cannot communicate telepathically with you, but he can?”

“The full marriage bond which we share does not allow telepathic communication. The telepathic connection is being established only when there is a Kafeh bond between two people, full or incipient. Leonard, does the fact that I communicate with him upset you?”

“I was a bit jealous in the beginning,” Leonard confessed. “But I have gotten used to it. I no longer see a threat in Scotty. And you seem to be fond of him.”

“This communication will not continue after the remains of the bond are removed from this mind.”

“Can’t you…?”

Leonard did not end his idea. He did not want to overstep and the subject was highly sensitive.

“What, Leonard?”

“I do not know. He seems to… I mean… you can’t, I don’t know, make it a proper Kafeh bond?”

“I do not wish to.”

“Why?”

“Well, just as you said that you do not need a bond to love me and submit to me, similarly, if Mr. Scott wishes to keep his word, he can be my Kafeh even in the absence of a bond.”

“Won’t you miss the telepathic communication?”

“Negative. The only person I miss is **you**.”

Leonard was momentarily rendered speechless by such a declaration; he cuddled back in his arms, happy and humbled by Spock’s love; he tried not to think too much about the fact that Spock would leave the next day. He wanted to enjoy the love and happiness and grace of the present moment. _Now_ was all he had, he thought, because in a deep corner of his mind, a voice kept reminding him that Spock was not going to be his forever; because _forever_ didn’t exist.

 

Jim landed his shuttle in Riverside landing bay, trying to calm his pounding heart. Was Chris waiting for him? Was he not? He had not checked and he had not scanned for his life-sign. If Chris was not there, he would still remember and cherish these moments of pure, blissful expectation.

He finally opened the shuttle door and went outside.

He did not dare look around from the first moment, he just wanted to postpone the unavoidable moment of disappointment for as long as possible. He just busied himself with closing the shuttle door and checking useless things on an exterior panel, getting his hands dirty in the process.

Finally, when there was nothing else to do anymore, he finally took a deep breath and looked around.

Chris was there.

Chris was there!!!

Leaned against a fence, wearing the dark grey suit for field work, Chris was looking at him with a smile on his lips, that smile of which Jim dreamt every night and thought of whilst awake. That smile which had stolen his heart, his very soul from that very first moment when Chris had stopped the epic bar fight and asked if he was okay.

Jim remained still, not knowing what to do, tense and scared in front of the man he so adored.

Chris signalled him to come closer, to come to him, making a discrete gesture with his head, his delicate smile always there.

Jim walked towards him, stopping in front of him, his heart still pounding, he could actually hear it. _I love you_ – his entire being screamed.

Chris maintained eye-contact until Jim felt he was going to explode if the tension lasted one second more.

“Come,” he finally spoke.

Chris’ car was parked a little farther from them. He headed in that direction and Jim just followed him without thinking and without hesitation, he could no longer think – not that he had any idea about what Chris was going to do – perhaps he was just giving him a ride, it was most certainly that, but Jim did not care – he just wanted to be near him a second longer.

Chris started the car, operating controls with his beautiful hands that Jim could not take his eyes from.

In those hands he had placed his hopes, his heart, his entire life; Chris still held them. He would hold them forever.

Jim didn’t know where they were going; Chris was not speaking at all; he could not recognize the surrounding landscape or the freeway, not that he was paying any attention to those things right now.

Chris stopped the car, he got outside of it and opened the door on Jim’s side.

Jim got out; his own hands were trembling; he had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life.

They were in front of a house which Jim did not know. He felt Chris’ hand resting on his arm and coaxing him to approach the front door, to follow him; very honestly, Jim would have followed him to the margins of the galaxy.

Chris touched the front door scanner with his palm and the door slid to the side.

Jim needed a moment to get used to the dim light; he then realized they were at Chris’ house, a place he had never dreamed to see. A place seemingly unknown to everyone else, to his knowledge.

Chris took the backpack from Jim’s arms and placed it on a table; with the same calm gestures and serene smile, he unbuttoned the two upper buttons of the dress uniform coat and then unzipped it, proceeding to remove it. Jim was hardy breathing anymore and his eyes were blood-shot, so much closeness was intoxicating and Jim had absolutely no idea what they were doing right now and did not dare utter a single word.

Chris cupped his face, looking deeply into his eyes for a few moments – as if _making sure_.

Jim placed his hot palms over the back of Chris’ hands and felt it was the most daring and most dangerous gesture he had made in his entire life.

And then, Chris kissed him.


	8. Belonging To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am done waiting for the right moment to have what is mine. Now is the time."

//Mr. Scott?//

//At your service, Master.//

//I am on orbit around New Vulcan and I shall commence landing procedures. Communication by electronic devices might be impossible for a while. Also, I am not sure if telepathic communication shall go through. My Father only needs to take one look at me to block it.//

//I would like to see him try!!!//

Spock could not help but be amused by his belligerent temper – and grateful for his loyal heart. In the past days, Mr. Scott and himself had managed to build a… relationship founded on trust and mutual appreciation and Scotty had passed every test Spock could think of. He was disciplined, truthful, caring and Highly Impertinent as Leonard used to describe him affectionately. Spock felt blessed to have both of them in his life. Scotty was a good Kafeh without actually being one.

//I will shield the bond with Leonard for his protection. Go to him now and tell him not to worry. I do not want any harm leak through to him.//

//Could it actually happen?//

//Anything can happen. Be good and brave in case you sense my distress and take good care of my bondmate.//

//I am honoured, Master.//

Scotty washed his hands and went to look for Leonard; finding him was no difficult job, for ever since Spock’s departure he had spent all his time in the Medical Bay, avoiding to go to his room as if he feared being there all by himself.

“Yo, Doc’.”

“Scotty.”

“Ye’ need to sit doon.”

“And why is that?” Leonard murmured. “I am busy.”

“Master advised he will temporarily shield your bond, for your protection. Might get a lil’ dizzy or stuff.”

“Oh…” Leonard said, immediately dropping everything and washing his hands as if he was actually going to see Spock in person in the next three seconds. “Did he say anything else? Where was he? What was he doing?”

“He said he misses you a lot and that every moment without you is pure hell. That he does his best to get this over with as soon as possible and he cannot wait to be reunited with you. That he hopes you will listen to his instructions and follow them accordingly and eat three meals a day and get enough sleep. He was on orbit around New Vulcan and will land soon.”

Leonard blushed and sat down on a biobed, waiting for the bond shielding process to begin.

//I am in your debt.//

//You’d better bring me some cool samples from the planet. And don’t forget a gift for Leonard!//

//Yes, Mr. Scott,// Spock transmitted with amusement, at the same time grateful that his Kafeh – no, his friend was actually taking care of his bondmate and being so thoughtful.

Furthermore, Scotty could do nothing else but watch his friend shiver through the process of bond shielding. It was as if he had suddenly developed high fever; he made a mental note never to let these two be apart again. If necessary, he would lock them up somewhere. It was not worth the distress.

“There you go, laddie. It is gonna be fine. He said it is only for one day or so, until he ascertains the situation with the Ol’ Man and then he will immediately unshield it.”

Leonard managed a smile. He knew that the connection between Scotty and Spock still existed and they could communicate. He did not want to give Scotty any opportunity to say about him that he had complained or experienced distress or was unwell. He did not want to give Spock any supplementary reasons of worry. He made huge efforts… to be good.

“You… love him, Scotty, don’t you?” Leonard murmured, whilst applying himself a mild hypospray for the dizziness.

“Yes,” Scotty replied. “I love him. But I have grown to realize that I do not love him like you do. I am not in love with him, Leonard. I wish you would believe me.”

“I believe you,” Leonard smiled trying to get off the biobed and walk around. “Oh shit, everything is still spinning.”

“Why are you attempting acts of stupid bravery?” Scotty scolded him. He then took Leonard’s arm and helped him back up on the biobed.

“Strange…” Leonard observed. “The bond does not react, I do not feel pain when you touch me.”

“That is because the touch was in no way offending. It was not out of carelessness, out of curiosity, out of lust our out of other reasons. The reason behind it was genuine desire to help my friend. Vulcans are not masochistic bastards which place touch restrictions so that you’d cringe in pain every time someone touched you, by mistake or otherwise. If it were so, you’d never be able to take a bus.”

“So wise you are,” Leonard giggled. “No, really, Scotty, you are informed on a variety of subjects, how do you manage?”

“I spend every second of my free time reading.”

Leonard’s eyes widened.

“Really? I spend my free time sleeping. I mean, I used to.”

“No, you idiot, you don’t. You spend nearly all your free time doing research and writing papers. By the way, both Spock and myself read them.”

“Huh? What? Whatwhatwh- oh shit.”

“Why oh shit? They are fantastic. I mean, look at you, you are only 38 and you already have… what, two doctorates?”

“Started the third one, but well, the first and second one are in medicine, the third one is in science… I am developing a new scanning tool…”

“Really? What kind?”

“I want to have a tool which is no larger than 5.83 inches. I see two tubes. You have the patient, injured in, say, thoracic area. You place the tool over him; you pull the tubes to the side… like an accordion, yeah?”

“Yeah, I am following you.”

“The 16k resolution panel between the two tubes would immediately display with 100% accuracy the internal damage image.”

“So… you’re creating an instant MRI scanner, so to speak.”

“That is what I am aiming at, yes. Oh, and it would display medical information on the upper right corner in text format, like heart rate, blood loss level, but without those stupid warnings on our current scanners, you know that stuff… ‘warning’, ‘critical alert’ – I mean, I should decide those things. A tool which advises me a patient is in critical condition does nothing but annoy me. I mean, I have eyes, no?”

Scotty was laughing wholeheartedly.

“My God, Leonard, I can understand why Spock adores you.”

“You do? Why?”

“Because you are adorable.”

“Of course I am. Now I was thinking about showing you the schematics of this tool, to give me an opinion, heh?”

“Whoa’ now, laddie, you drew SCHEMATICS?”

“Yeah,” Leonard answered – a bit apprehensively.

“And you call ME informed ‘on a variety of subjects’.

“Well… um… you know, for this research project, Archer is the supervisor and before beginning I had to take an entire course in medical engineering.”

The interesting discussion managed to bring a little comfort to Leonard’s troubled mind. He got out of the biobed, feeling he could finally function… he missed Spock, he missed him terribly, but he could still… exist, because he had promised not to make any scenes.

 

Spock landed and took a few deep breaths. He opened the door of the shuttle and got out; a delegation was waiting for him. He lifted his right hand to greet his fellow Vulcans, members of his Father’s household which had survived The Day; he knew all of them by name, and his heart flourished upon seeing them.

“Greetings, Spock. We are to take you to the Master at once,” the elder of the delegation Spoke.

Spock nodded and followed them. He was somewhat grateful that Sarek had not come to greet him in person; he had a few minutes more to… adjust.

They got in a vehicle and, in a short while, they arrived at the royal residence. Spock had last seen the house when it was under construction. It was by no means royal. It was built out of marble, large enough to accommodate a numerous family, but Spock could not sense the presence of so many people.

The climatic conditions of New Vulcan were milder than those of the planet which had been destroyed by Nero’s wrath. It had allowed Sarek to build a beautiful garden around the house. Amanda had always longed to have a pond, with willows and water-lilies; it looked like Sarek had managed to have one made. She had never wished for extravagant things; on Vulcan, though, a pond WAS something extravagant and nearly impossible. Here, it was easy. _In the loving memory…_

“We have arrived. Spock, it is advisable that you change into a Vulcan robe.”

“My good Anwyll, thank you for your concern. I shall not dress in Vulcan robes. Take me to Father, please.”

The elder Vulcan did not make any other comments; it was not his place to do so. He opened the gates of the garden and immediately after, Spock could see the elegant silhouette of his Father, waiting for him in the doorway.

Spock bowed, with deep respect.

“Greetings, noble King and Father. I trust I am finding you in good health.”

“Spock, my son,” Sarek said on a cold tone which made Spock shiver. “Welcome to the house of Surak. Does your body have the necessary sustenance?”

“Yes, noble Father,” Spock answered, finally managing to lift his head and look into his Father’s eyes. It was so painful – to _know_ how they both felt and yet to utter such banal words. He felt as if he was in a theatre play. A bad one, for what it mattered.

“Anwyll, take my son to his chambers. Spock, you are to rest, wash and dress appropriately. Present yourself to me in 2.35 standard hours.”

They both had their orders; still, the warden uttered a ‘Yes, Master’, whilst Spock said nothing. It was useless to attempt rest; his mind was too… restless and he was overwhelmed by worry. As for dressing appropriately, that was not going to happen anytime soon. He was a Starfleet officer and that was that.

He went to the room which had been assigned to him and removed his shoes. He washed his face with cold water and sat down on the meditation mat. Time spent in meditation was never lost. He began with a few minutes of _anapanasati_ , simply focusing on the breath, breathing in, breathing out, and counting each breath with awareness. It was the simplest exercise, they were being taught to do it starting a very early age. More complex exercises came after you were able to master at least one hour of uninterrupted _anapanasati_.

Anwyll came to pick him up at the designated time.

“You have not changed your garments, Spock.”

“Yes, my good friend. Please do not worry. Take me to him.”

“But…”

“Please, do not worry. You are not breaking any rules here; I am, and I am also assuming responsibility for my actions.”

Anwyll just shook his head.

Sarek was waiting for his son in the library, looking out the window, his hands loosely clasped behind his back. Upon sensing his son’s presence, he turned to face him, his eyes expressionless – but Spock knew better.

“Explain, Spock, why do you choose to disrespect the house of Surak by disobeying even simple instructions such as the requested dress-code?”

“With respect, Father. I am a Starfleet officer. I am proud of my uniform.”

“But at the same time, Spock, are you not a member of this family? Are you not my son? Your heritage – is it not a matter of pride for you as well?”

“Father, are we here to discuss my choices in clothing? Had I been aware that my decision to wear my Starfleet uniform irritated you… I would have, by all means, worn a robe.”

“You must have forgotten that Vulcans do not get irritated. Living for so long among humans often affects memory and I can see you are no exception.”

“In that case, I am relieved to know that you are not irritated and that we are both free to wear whatever we want. Now, might we discuss less trivial matters?”

“You have the pride and arrogance of one who is newly bonded. Very well, son. Let us discuss more important matters. As you may probably still remember, the tradition of this House states that one who has bonded is responsible for his actions and therefore considered an adult Vulcan, even if he may not be of age. The same tradition requires children to consult with their parents before bonding and to prove their ability to care and provide for their mate.”

“My bondmate is Leonard McCoy,” Spock said simply.

There was a moment of silence.

“Explain your choice, Spock – and also, explain why you did not deem it appropriate to consult with me – with us, your House – before making such an unfortunate choice.”

“Bonding with Leonard was the most fortunate event of my entire life. I chose him because I love him. There is nothing more to explain.”

“Love is not logical. I can see that you have almost completely forgotten _our_ way of life.”

“Why did you marry my mother? Was your choice logical? Or have you also forgotten that you married her because you loved her? You told me this yourself and I kept those words in my heart.”

Sarek turned away from his son, going to the window and looking outside. Spock’s words stirred deep, painful memories of his lost love.

“This… Leonard. Does he have any notions of submission?”

“Leonard is completely submissive to me.”

“I find it very hard to believe. I remember Doctor McCoy well; he is a strong, independent human who speaks out whatever crosses his mind.”

“There is a certain duality in all humans, Father. You of all people should know that, since you bonded with a human as well and have a son which is half human, half vulcan.”

Sarek ignored the blatant provocation.

“What of the responsibilities to your own race, Spock? Or those to your House, to me? Bonding with a vulcan female would have been a so much more logical choice. You would have had offspring with a stronger vulcan line than yours. I would have been pleased. You know very well that I have reluctantly agreed for you to remain in Starfleet – even though I cannot see the point – and _this_ is how you reward me?”

“My position in Starfleet has proven to be useful, Father; or have you forgotten that it was Starfleet that came to help when Vulcan was attacked, that it was Starfleet which defeated Nero, that it was Starfleet who provided the survivors with the necessary assistance, as well as with this planet. From here, I could draw the… _logical_ conclusion that there are a few advantages for me to be a member of Starfleet. Do you not think so?”

“Right now,” Sarek said, giving him an ice-cold look – “I fail to see the advantages of having a son.”

The pain Spock felt reflected all the way to Scotty, back on the Enterprise – which such intensity that the young man had to lean with his hand against the warp core drive-tube.

 

Jim opened his eyes slowly; a soft, cool hand was caressing his back lazily. Where was he? No, he had not lost his memory. He just… could not believe. He could not believe he was there with his love, his god, his everything – Christopher Pike, whom he adored and worshipped.

“It’s real,” Chris said simply, wrapping one arm around Jim’s chest and pulling him closer.

“Am I so easy to read?” Jim asked, looking into his eyes and Still Not Believing.

“To me, yes.”

Chris leaned over him and gave him one delicate kiss.

“We made… I mean we’ve had…”

“We made love,” Chris corrected him gently. “Anything hurts?”

Jim smiled.

“You are asking me if anything hurts? You could perform vivisection on me and I would worship you during every second of it.”

Chris smiled back and Jim felt like melting! For that smile he would have died.

“It was your first time, silly, this is why I am asking.”

As his mind was clearing out, memories began to structure and order. Chris kissing him. Kissing him!!!! Chris taking him to the bedroom and having him lie down on the bed. Undressing him. Kissing him reassuringly. Jim saying endless words of love. Chris in control of everything, delicate but also demanding, tender but also rough at times. Saying that Jim was his.

“Sir…”

Chris let out a small laugh.

“Jim. You _may_ call me _Chris_ now, you know?”

“I didn’t know.”

Chris caressed his cheek with obvious, unhidden affection.

“How come I am here… Chris?”

“I drove up to here. Then we came in.”

Jim managed to smile. Still, he had to ask the important questions, he had to have the important answers – because right now his life depended on it.

“Come on, up. I’ll make you breakfast and coffee and you’ll ask everything you wish, and I’ll answer.”

“Wait, please… Chris. I need to know now, because otherwise I am going to die, I can promise you this. Are my feelings… which you now know… one-way?”

“Your feelings are two-way,” Chris said with the same beautiful smile on his lips. He took Jim’s arm and pulled him up. He brought a t-shirt and effectively dressed him with it and Jim just let him, a doll in his hands.

“I cleaned you as best as I could, but you still need a proper bath later. Perhaps I’ll join you if the sight of my naked body does not make you blush even more.”

Jim did blush that very instant, realizing he was simply staring at Chris – he was not young, but Jim thought he was fit and oh, so gorgeous.

“Was I very boring?” Jim inquired, following him to the kitchen.

“You were speechless for an ample amount of time. And then you only said _Yes, Chris_ – a proper thing to say, by the way – and _I love you._ Not for a single moment were you boring.”

“I don’t know how to… do anything.”

“You don’t have to _do anything_ ,” Chris said placing a cup of coffee in front of him and then proceeding to prepare bacon and eggs and pancakes. “I am in charge. And I love you just the way you are. I will teach you what I like and you will do what I say and ask you to.”

Jim thought he was going to faint. The things he was saying! He drank a bit of coffee.

“Why – no, in fact. I have no more questions. You already answered the One Question.”

Chris came to him and cupped his face, looking downwards towards him.

“I love you, Jim. And we are going to do things my way because otherwise I know you will fall apart because of worry and doubts and longing. I will log our relationship and you will go on your missions knowing that you will come home to me. You will be faithful and loyal to me just like you’ve been all the time. You will take damn good care of yourself, no more foolish risks – in fact I will make sure that the Enterprise gets boring diplomatic missions from this day on, no matter how selfish that is. If I see one injury on you that is out of negligence, we are finished.”

“Oh my God…” Jim murmured, lost.

“The thing is, Jim, at this point you love me too much. You cannot function. Therefore, you will stay with me right here until you finish processing all this stuff. Until you understand I am serious. I cannot – and WILL NOT lose you. You will do what I say – mathematically.”

“Yes, Sir,” Jim could not help himself. “You… own me.”

“I have owned you from day one in that stupid bar. I am done waiting for the right moment to have what is mine. Now is the time.”

Warm, blissful peace engulfed Jim’s soul. He belonged to Christopher Pike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a small comment!


	9. Choices Given

“Father, we treat each other as if we were enemies engaged in a stupid, senseless diplomatic contest of some sort. I do not wish to aggravate our situation… I have come to tell you of Leonard; I am sure that if you met him, you would change your impression of him. Meanwhile, allow me to offer you my mind, as it is appropriate, and you can look through my memories and see how this came to be.”

Sarek nodded, pleased to see that his son no longer exhibited that upsetting stubbornness.

“Kneel,” he ordered.

Spock had hoped that his Father would invite him to sit down on the sofa for the meld which he knew it would be painful; but no, his Father was the “prisoner” of old, rigid views about protocol. Therefore, he made a few steps and knelt, lifting his head, looking up and offering himself for the meld. He only took a moment to carefully shield Scotty, hoping to keep him… hidden for the time-being.

Sarek also took a moment – to look at his son on his knees. So long had it passed… no, they had to stay far from that _dark zone._ He started the meld, going through Spock’s memories and seeing through his shields as if they were made of thin glass. He allowed himself a smile – a being who could hide anything from him had not been born yet.

He left unimportant events aside and focused on his son’s memories with his mate.

“You have struggled hard to acquire this human, Son.”

Spock did not comment.

“Should you have come to me, I could have used my position in the Federation and acquire him for you, irrespective of his will.”

“I would have rather died than doing such a horrid thing.”

Sarek sent a fresh wave of pain through the bond, making Spock cringe. Cold drops of sweat gathered on his forehead.

“I will not allow you to be impertinent, Spock. Remember who I am.”

“It is easy to forget when you say such things.”

Sarek broke the meld and hit him hard with the back of his hand.

Spock was actually expecting it, so he did not move. It stung; his heart stung, rather than his cheek.

“What is this broken bond I see in your mind? Who is this person?”

“He is mine. Do not hurt him.”

“He is your… what?”

“He is my servant.”

“The bond fragments are not those of a Kafeh bond.”

“Perhaps not. Still, that is what he is to me. Look into the Federation database. This… fragment of bond is logged as such.”

Sarek took a padd from a nearby table.

“What name I am looking for?”

“I will give you his name if you promise not to bring him any harm. If anyone is to be held responsible, that person is me.”

“I am glad to see that you finally assume some responsibility. His name?” he asked again, slightly annoyed.

“Your promise, first.”

“Son, you are behaving extremely illogically. Instead of asking me not to harm your bondmate, you are practically begging me not to harm your Kafeh. Do enlighten me.”

“I am not asking you this in regard to Leonard, my bondmate, because I know for sure you would not harm him. First, because I know you would not uselessly harm a Vulcan’s bondmate – you are, after all, the Vulcan king. You saw the strength of our love and you know I would die without him. Second, because I know you will love him yourself.”

Sarek said nothing, looking into his son’s eyes piercingly. He extended one hand and cleaned away the blood leaking from Spock’s left nostril.

“His name is Montgomery Scott,” Spock said softly. Sarek hadn’t promised; but he felt they had reached some kind of… temporary truce.

“I know this name,” Sarek murmured. “I know this name. Oh! Yes. The Human who postulated the transwarp theory.”

“Himself.”

“Well, I can at least congratulate you on this one. He is a valuable asset. But if the bond is broken, he is in extreme pain. Why did you not rebuild the bond correctly?”

“It requires melding with him and I promised never to do that again.”

“Ridiculous… but then again, what to expect? Stand up. You may drink water.”

Spock stood up, feeling dizzy and upset and disappointed.

“I have much to meditate upon,” Sarek spoke. “Here are your instructions. You shall go rest and present yourself to me in eight hours. I do advise you to sleep.”

“Father… for how long do I have to be here? I wish to inform my Captain.”

“Do not preoccupy yourself with such trivial matters. I shall advise your good Captain myself. He will not refuse me, the High Ambassador of the Federation. You are on leave for an undetermined period of time. That is, for as long as I deem fit.”

Spock refrained himself from further comments – he really needed to focus on not making the situation any worse.

“Yes, Father.”

“Do not look so melancholic and heartbroken,” Sarek said, sounding annoyed. “You have long forgotten that you are my heir, as well as the only Vulcan in Starfleet. Consequently, you have the responsibility – or should I say, the honour? – but I am not sure you have such notions – of representing me. And right now, pardon me, but I really do not feel represented in a proper manner. Your actions are impulsive and your manners in front of me are dreadful. You carry two bonds which have formed without my approval. I would like to see you the day you have children of your own, when they run away from home with some Romeo or Juliette like in that ancient Terran play. I would very much like to live up to that day, so that you see for yourself how that feels.”

Spock felt paralyzed by the harsh words. Sarek was in no way understanding and kind; but Spock could actually see some deeper meaning in what his father had said.

“I am very sorry you are so disappointed in me, Father,” he murmured.

“Being sorry does not help.”

“Perhaps I could make things right.”

“Do you _wish_ to make things right?”

“Father… how can you even ask such a thing? Do you honestly, sincerely believe that I hate you? That I… despise you? Father, I…”

“Enough. What are you willing to do, to _make things right_?”

“Whatever you ask, Father, except breaking my two bonds or doing something that would harm my mate and my Kafeh.”

“The bond with your Kafeh is already broken. I cannot see what else can be broken about it. It is not as if I can break it _some more_.”

“I know, Father. Besides, I sincerely believe you are not a sadistic person, trying to inflict pain just because it is pleasurable to observe.”

“Do not tempt me…” Sarek murmured, on a tone which sounded very slightly amused. “Inflicting pain is sometimes quite useful. Now go have some rest as I ordered you. Send Anwyll in, I want my meditation room ready. I shall inform you of my decisions at the designated time. And Son… do not attempt stupid things, such as trying to leave without my permission.”

“No, Father. I do not plan to try that yet.”

Saying that, Spock finally left the room. He had a lot to think of as well, thoughts to order, decisions to make, messages to send through his useful link with Scotty.

“Leonard, what is this mess here???” Scotty wanted to know, looking at Leonard sitting in his office, looking overwhelmed by sorrow and lack of interest, holding a glass in his hand.

“What mess?”

“What’s in that glass?? Why does Sickbay look as if it has recently exploded? Honestly, it looks worse than Engineering. And dinnae have a surgery scheduled?”

“You… you know my schedule?”

“OF COURSE I KNOW YOUR SCHEDULE! I am in command of this bloody ship, because Jim is on medical leave. And even if he weren’t, I would still know your schedule. Someone needs to look after you.”

Leonard said nothing, looking more and more miserable by the minute.

Scotty got to him, took the glass and threw it in the recycler, and then he practically dragged Leonard out of the office, then out of the Medical Bay, to his and Spock’s quarters.

“You shall now go shower, shave and change clothes, and I mean right now. Don’t make me undress you and wash you, because you know damn well I will, and I’d like to see the type of trouble we shall both be in, when Spock finds out I undressed you.”

“Huh? You are crazy! Okay. I am going!”

Leonard was not doing well. He was experiencing extremely distressing withdrawal symptoms due to the shielding of the bond; yes, the bond was still there but he could not perceive it at a conscious level; it was draining to say the least. He had thus realised the degree of dependency given by a Vulcan bond; once you had it… you could not live without.

Scotty thought that Leonard didn’t look angry enough yet.

“Move it, lad. You have a patient waiting for you in the Operating Theatre.”

“Yeah… okay.”

“I am coming with you to the OR, by the way. Do you have some cute scrubs for me?”

“Huh? Are you nuts? What would you do in my O.R.?”

“Supervise you.”

“SuperWHAT? Are you out of your Scottish mind? Do I look as if I completely lost it?”

“Yes,” Scotty said taking a cautious step backwards.

“Well, I have got news for you, Mr. Bossy! I haven’t lost it! What in the hell, man? In O.R.? You wanna friggin’ come with me in the O.R.???”

“The patient might attack you…” Scotty murmured smiling, happy to see him so angry.

“Is That So???”

“Now I am positive you are Leonard McCoy the Lion!”

“Oh, you… you!!! Fine!!!! I am going!!! Move your ass back to the Bridge.”

“Aye, Doctor. Mind you, after surgery come to Engineering, I need your help with a delicate instrument calibration.”

“I’m a Doctor. Not an Engi…”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

Leonard started to laugh. Damn that kid! He did know how to push the right buttons and make everything a bit more bearable.

“If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you are actually enjoying this, Mr. Montgomery Scott.”

“I AM enjoying this.”

“Bastard.”

“It’s my form of therapy. What, you thought you were the only one actually missing him?”

“I do not waaaaant to discuss about how much we are missing him… Okay, I am going! Since you are here, do clean up the room too.”

“There are yeomans for this, you know?”

“You are his Kafeh,” Leonard winked; he was now in a completely different disposition. He left.

“I am his Kafeh, that much is true,” Scotty murmured by himself, whilst starting to put Leonard’s books, scattered everywhere, in their right places. Really, he was so messy! And Spock so orderly! How could they even survive together??

//Scotty?//

//MASTER!!// Scotty’s thoughts rushed forward with the intensity of a scream. //I was worried! Are you well?//

//I am not well in the least, Scotty. The Vulcan Royal House should very soon contact the Enterprise officially to state that I am on leave for an undetermined period of time.//

//Are you being held there against your will?//

//Not for now, but it will come to that shortly, I am quite sure of that. How is Leonard doing?//

//Just sent him to the O.R. He is not doing that great. Master, how can I help? I have a shuttle ready. I WILL come for you.//

//Listen carefully, Kafeh.//

Being addressed thus – it made Scotty effectively jump on his feet.

//Yes, Master.//

//Should something happen to me, you will assume full responsibility for Leonard’s survival.//

//Yes, Master. The… possibility exists as well?//

//Remember this, Scotty. There is nothing that my father cannot do – especially when he is angry. And I have seen him so.//

Scotty felt shocked to the core to hear Spock utter such words.

//Master, I am honoured and humbled by the trust you place in me. I will not let you down. Has your Father… discovered the… the… our thing?//

//Yes, despite my attempts of shielding you. He is aware of the existence of our broken bond. I must return to Father now. Remember: you have all my trust, Scotty. I do not know how this happened, after all we have been through… but you have it.//

Spock got up from the meditation mat and upon careful deliberation, he put his blue science shirt back on. He was quite sure that for as long as he’ll live, he will not put a Vulcan robe on. He took a deep breath and returned to Sarek’s office, ready for another round of excruciating questions.

“Good morning, Father. I have returned to you as requested.”

Sarek lifted an eyebrow, critically analysing him from head to toes.

“Not as requested, Spock. Your choice of garments shall from now on be considered a deliberate attempt to cause offense to my House. Your blatant disregard towards your Vulcan heritage has made me reconsider. Have you got anything to say in your defense?”

“Reconsider… _what exactly_ , Father?”

“Reconsider my prior decision of acknowledging your Bondmate.”

“You had not informed me of such a decision…” Spock said, his heart trembling and realizing he had made a grave mistake allowing the human stubbornness get the better of him.

“I do not deem it necessary to inform you of anything.”

Spock took a deep breath. They were not having a dialogue.

“I see.”

“I shall inform you of my judgment upon the present situation and of my decision. You shall be given two choices.”

“I am listening, Father.”

Sarek walked towards him slowly, his eyes blazing.

“The Only Way in which you will be listening is on your knees.”

Spock shivered. This was getting more and more difficult. He sank onto his knees, gathering all his inner strength to look up.

“Spock of the House of Surak: I find your bond with the Human Leonard McCoy hastily and immaturely created, lacking strength and consistency; I find you incapable of looking after him. You are therefore being given two choices: the first is to have this bond removed by me in this very moment – it will be distressful, but the operation will ensure your and his survival, as the bond is still fragile. He will go on with his life and you will remain here with me and re-learn your place in my house and in my life. The second choice I am giving you is to put your bond with Leonard McCoy through the Kir’Shara test. I will meld with him and attempt to remove it from his mind. If his love and submission are as strong as you say they are, then the bond will survive, and I shall acknowledge it. If I manage to remove it, he will lose his life.”

“What about the third choice in which I leave and you disinherit me, and we never see each other again?”

Sarek’s hand hit him hard, once more, with full strength.

“You will not leave this house, Spock. And if you doubt my capacity to keep you here by force, then you do not know me well enough. ANWYLL! Take my son back to his room. He has some thinking to do. Put four guards outside this door and adjust security level to A1. Any transporter activity shall be considered an act of war.”

The warden helped Spock get up and gently guided him back to his room, without talking. Through the touch Spock could sense his sadness and an honest desire to be of help, but at the same time he knew Anwyll adored and worshipped Sarek and would do nothing to go against his will.

 

Chris kissed Jim a few times, making him wake up – he was not exactly sleeping; he was rather in and out of consciousness as his own mind and heart were getting adjusted to the idea that he was Christopher Pike’s mate. It was so extraordinary and unbelievable, that he could not function yet.

“You have an important phone-call and I want you to take it.”

“Wha… who?”

“Mr. Scott. I have put him on hold, while you go wash your face and put a shirt on. Come on.”

“But my padd and communicator must have discharged completely. How’d he found me?”

“Oh, he is calling on my console.”

“He WHAT? He knows where I am?”

“Yes.”

“How?” Jim rubbed his eyes, not knowing if he was allowed to tell others about… _them_.

“I have learnt that one should never underestimate Mr. Scott.”

Jim quickly made himself more presentable and went after Chris to the living-room. He didn’t even know where everything was in the house… but no time to meditate upon this right now, because the phone-call did seem important.

“Mr. Scott. Good morning!”

“It’s four in the afternoon, sleepy-head. Listen. I have determined that Spock is being kept prisoner on New Vulcan. I am going after him. Are you coming?”

Jim needed a moment to process. He had been so engulfed in the ocean of feelings of the last few days, that he had almost forgotten about anything else. He looked at Chris outside the screen.

Chris sat down near him – after all, he had already spoken to Scotty, the young Engineer already knew that he and Jim were together. No point in pretending things were different.

“Mr. Scott, do not do anything hasty and do not engage Sarek of Vulcan in a conflict. If you want to go, you cannot do so as a Starfleet officer. And if you go alone, we cannot guarantee your safety.

“Fuck my safety. This is Spock we are talking about. I need Jim to grant me a leave of absence and I need you, Captain Pike, to give me that bad-ass shuttle of yours.”

Chris shook his head with a smile. He passed a padd on to Jim.

“There you go, Captain, get his paperwork done for his leave of absence. Mr. Scott, the shuttle needs refuelled with Dilithium. I will get it done in half an hour. Also the engine needs a check-up…”

“Ye’ kidding, right? I’m the bloody Chief Engineer of the Enterprise. I am bringing Dilithium myself, you needn’t do shit. Jus’ pass me the launch codes.”

Chris sighed; such colourful language was not easy to digest, especially after days in which he had only heard _Yes, Chris_ and _I love you, Chris_.

“I am guessing you also don’t need my address, to come and take the shuttle.”

“Na’. I triangulated Jim’s life-signs through the main SC2 satellite. There are no issues.”

Chris shut the console down and turned towards Jim with a smile.

“It seems we must return to duty. It will be easier from now on – because you will remember every second you belong to me.”


	10. The Good Servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He would show them.

Scotty flew around New Vulcan one more time until he found the junction satellite which ensured the planet’s shielding. He connected to it remotely – he could do it with his eyes closed, really – and disabled the entire communications and defense network.

“You, guys, need an engineer,” he murmured heading down straight towards Sarek’s house. There were attempts to shoot him down. “And you also need snipers. Gosh! Vulcans.”

He landed right in front of the main gate. He placed a shielding belt around his waist, which would allow him time to talk before being shot down by the guards and opened the shuttle door.

He would show them.

He would show them the things a Kafeh would do for his Master, because really, you don’t just render Spock unconscious and keep him a prisoner and expect _no consequences._ Not as long his name was Montgomery Scott.

Several guns were immediately pointed towards him – of course, it was to be expected. But at the same time, he knew they must have scanned his vehicle, they knew he was alone and unarmed. His weapon was his mind; he will make use of that.

He lifted his hands.

“Yo’ put those damn guns doon! Yer Vulcans, shouldn’ta touch guns, ye wicked elves!”

Anwyll frowned at the dangerous creature; he scanned him from head to toes using a portable device.

Scotty waited patiently.

“Remove the belt,” Anwyll ordered on a calm, but firm tone.

“Okay, cool. No need to get so angry.”

Next, his hands were quickly grabbed by the same warden and tied behind his back.

“Dreadful manners! Am I being arrested?”

“Yes, Sir, you are,” Anwyll replied, even though he had leisurely read the young Human through the touch – he was not intending on harming anyone, he was here for negotiations.

“Then I wan’ ma lawyer!” he tried to joke, he doubted the Vulcans had any clue of what a lawyer was.

“If the Master deems it necessary, you will be appointed a lawyer as per Federation rules.”

“Then take me to the Master, go on.”

Anwyll coaxed him to start walking. They went through the big gate and then walked towards the house; Scotty slowed down – he had the distinct impression he had been here before, a strong feeling of deja-vu which made his stomach clench.

Sarek himself opened the door.

They looked at one another and there was pain and despair and loss in that look.

On both sides.

“Foolish, stupid human! What were you thinking?” Sarek snapped at him. “You should have ASKED for PERMISSION.”

“I do not ask for permission.”

“IS THAT so?” Sarek asked pointedly, with concealed anger. “Untie the human, Anwyll. I will subdue him myself.”

Anwyll bowed his head and untied Scotty, who rubbed his hands furiously.

“Jesus Christ, man,” he mumbled in his direction, probably thinking some very unorthodox things regarding his tying abilities.

Sarek took his arm without much fuss and simply walked with him to the living-room.

“Sit there,” Sarek said, pointing towards the couch and not caring if he was being inconsiderate and ordering his guest around. If he were to think about it properly, the Human was not a guest, but a prisoner. Hr brought him a glass of cold water. “Drink.”

Scotty decided not to aggravate the situation further. He took the glass from his hand and drank the water. He had been thirsty.

“Thanks.”

“How about _Thank you, Your Majesty_?”

“Nope.”

Sarek was already angry; there was no way the young man could make him _angrier_.

“Very well. Crass manners will not take you anywhere. I shall let you _socialize_ – as you humans put it – with Anwyll. He is very good company. Anwyll, entertain the gentleman.”

Sarek headed towards the door. He had had more than enough. No wonder his own son had dreadful manners – in such company!!

“Wait, Sir. Your Majesty. Come back?”

Sarek stopped but he did not turn towards him.

“Please?”

Sarek waited.

“Please, Your Majesty. Let us talk. You know you want to talk to me.”

Sarek finally turned towards him.

“Very well, Mr. Scott. Since you seem to have remembered the rudiments of good behaviour, do tell me. What is the reason for your… unorthodox visit?”

“The reason for my visit is the fact that my master, Spock – you know who I am talking about, right? – your son – is unconscious, and I want to see him immediately. If, before that, you want to meld with me and verify my intentions and the quality of my relationship with your son, I am at your disposal.”

“I am well aware of your peculiar relationship with my son, Mr. Scott.”

“I am his Kafeh.”

“No, you are not, Mr. Scott. I do not see the bond. I see only bond fragments.”

“Look better. Sometimes the intention to serve is as strong as an actual, full Vulcan bond. You will forgive me for not kneeling for the meld; I am faithful to one person, and that is him.”

Sarek remained standing in front of him. He was acting so… childishly. But at the same time, there was something about this human. Something special and… important.

He melded with him, since permission had been granted. He performed a preliminary sweep of his consciousness, to acquaint himself with the general mental landscape. He made his own presence known as an observer – strong and almighty.

“Is there something in particular you wish to show me, Mr. Scott?”

“Yes. Look at the bond fragments.”

Sarek did so, his mental touch focusing on the horrible remains of what had once been a beautiful bond.

“Don’t attempt to touch or modify it, please.”

“No, of course. In your current state, it will kill you. Why do you hold on to this disgraceful thing? It hurts you every moment. A Vulcan would be, by now, half mad with pain.”

“I endure pain well. I hold on to it because it is my most precious possession. Sometimes we hold on to things which bring us pain because we do not have anything else left. I love Spock. You know that; you can see that. I cannot give the remains of this bond up because there is nothing else I have of him. Look at how things came to be. Look at all the memories,” Scotty said with passion, rushing forward and embracing Sarek’s consciousness without realizing; he projected the intense memories and feelings of the last couple of days, as well as everything he had perceived from Spock regarding his father – longing, regret, love, fear – he projected everything forward onto Sarek’s consciousness with such an intensity, that it provoked the King instant, sudden, merciless pain; the Vulcan was unable to break the meld.

“What are you doing, STOP!”

“Sorry, I have no idea what I am doing. It may hurt. But if I can endure so much pain each moment, you can too, just for a little while, in order to look at your son from a different angle and look at what he has become, how he has grown to be the wonderful person he is today. I am a mirror, beautiful King; a mirror of him. Look through me. Use me. Do not let the anger and pride blind you.”

Sarek thought that the young man was very brave.

“Very well, I will look. Instead, you will receive insight in regard to the dialogues I had with my son and you shall try and reason with him.”

“Only if you do not ask me to convince him of something harmful.”

“Doing what is right, Mr. Scott, may hurt, but in the end, it brings healing and peace. You should know better.”

There were no more words spoken afterwards. They remained within the meld, rigid and tense at the beginning, progressively relaxing. Scotty threw the shoes off his feet and cuddled on the sofa; Sarek also sat on the comfortable pillows, their minds tightly joined. At some point, Anwyll came and covered them with a soft blanket as it was getting colder. Awareness of the surroundings returned many hours later and Sarek was almost surprised to notice it was late into the night.

They had shared memories, events lived, words spoken; expectations, feelings. Sarek couldn’t believe how well-attuned the Human’s mind was to his, how fluent the communication had been.

“The Kir’Shara,” Mr. Scott. “You will convince my son of the necessity of this. If his mate loves him so deeply, then he will pass the test.”

“He does – and I am sure he will pass every test. Spock needs reassuring that you will not harm Leonard in any way. You still need to earn his trust.”

“I… don’t know how, Mr. Scott. Him and me… we are too damaged.”

Sarek left his hand down, finally, after so many hours of melding.

Scotty placed his hand over his.

“You know what we, humans, say? When you admit you don’t know how to do something, you have taken the first step towards conquering the respective knowledge. You are a good king; I am… absolutely sure you are not a bad father.”

Sarek looked at him thoughtfully.

“No one has called me _good_ in a very long time.”

Scotty returned an equally thoughtful look.

“No one has bothered to look, noble king.”

“Anwyll, take our guest to his chambers. Provide him with dinner and cold water.”

“Yes, Master,” Anwyll replied mildly and walked away with Scotty.

 

Spock opened his eyes heavily, pulled out of the veils of deep, dark unconsciousness by a strong hand resting on his face.

Words in Vulcan were being murmured to him, to bring him to full awareness.

Grief and worry overwhelmed him as soon as realized it was his Father waking him – the one who had rendered him unconscious.

“Father,” he managed to murmur.

“Yes, Son.”

“Why am I awake?”

“Because I so wish. Your body needs sustenance and bathing.”

“Do these things even matter?”

Sarek did no allow himself to be taunted by his son’s words.

“Your servant is here.”

Spock sat up, feeling dizzy and sick and hopeful, all at once.  Scotty was here! He did not feel worried – he felt he had an ally.

“He will come see to your needs. He is very brave.”

“Yes, he is.”

“You may come see your Master, Mr. Scott.”

Scotty just rushed inside at once and Spock had to rub his eyes upon seeing him. Scotty was not wearing his red engineering shirt anymore, but a simple black Vulcan robe, that which was traditionally worn by Kafeh servants. Spock realized that yes, Scotty was very, very brave and probably much wiser than him. Because he himself would never put on a Vulcan robe – that was settled.

“MASTER!” Scotty yelled, even though it was not necessary. He came to him at once and kissed his hand.

“Easy now, Mr. Scott…”

“Yes, Master. I am going to get your bath ready and then bring you breakfast. I brought you a clean uniform,” he the whispered to his ear.

“A blue shirt?”

“An actual blue science shirt.”

It was silly, but it made Spock feel a bit better.

Sarek looked at the two of them apprehensively.

“When you feel ready to talk, Son, you and your Kafeh are welcome to join me in my office.” With those words, he left the room.

Spock took a deep breath. He wanted to discuss so many things with Scotty, but first things first. He went and took a bath and shaved, after which he returned to the room. Scotty had brought a tray with several foods which Anwyll had kindly provided, and proceeded to make sandwiches – the way he knew Spock liked them.

“After you eat, we can meld and you can see all the bad stuff I did,” Scotty suggested with an innocent smile.

“No, no, Mr. Scott. You and I are not melding.”

“Ugh. Forgot about that. It would have been faster. Anyway, since we are not melding, I will just have to tell you everything.”

“You may proceed.”

Scotty poured himself a cup of coffee and started explaining how he had managed to get here, how he had disabled the planetary shield, how he had landed, how he had met Sarek and what he had told him. How they had melded for hours and how Sarek just could not have enough of looking at the memories of his son. Scotty needed several hours to finish the story because Spock, of course, kept interrupting him, going over certain details tens of times until Scotty wanted to just punch him.

In the end, Spock remained silent, trying to order his thoughts and impressions.

“Thing is, Master, you think that he wants to get Leonard through this Kir’Shara test to harm him. I assure you he does not.”

“You are certain of this, Scotty, but I am not.  He may not willingly hurt him, but I know Leonard. His mind is like a delicate flower and the Kir’Shara test is sharp like a sword, painful as if some cuts you a limb. Leonard is delicate. If I frown at him, he does not sleep for three days. Do not compare yourself with him; I could cut you to pieces and you would keep smiling at me and make me sandwiches.”

“Yeah, true. But at the same time, if Leonard ever finds out you did not trust his capacities enough to let him go through the test, he will hate himself and doubt himself forever. Let him make the choice, perhaps.”

Spock rubbed his forehead, thinking. This was hard and complicated and bitter.

“Master, listen here. I know you want to make things right with your Dad. And he wants too. This is the one chance you have to start changing the current situation. Trust Leonard more; trust your love more.  You have already been through much shit. If you ask me, this Kir’Shara thing is a piece of cake.”

“You and your colourful language… I do not know what to do, Mr. Scott.”

“As I was tellin’ your Dad, _not knowing_ is the first step towards wisdom. Want to go and talk to him?”

“I must and I should, yes.”

“Then if I may convey a piece of advice, Master. Do talk to him but do not start from the presumption that he wants to harm you. He does not wish to uselessly harm you. You are his son, for God’s sake.”

“You are so wise, Mr. Scott. If I may also convey a piece of advice, do shut up now.”

Scotty smiled and said nothing. He just followed Spock to Sarek’s office.

“Father.”

Sarek turned towards them. He seemed less tense than before – and he even managed to smile at them.

“Son.”

Scotty carefully observed the exchange of looks and words. Everything was important and… vital.

“Father,” Spock said heading towards Sarek and stopping in front of him, kneeling in front of him out of his own free will and taking his hand. “Would you allow me to invite Leonard, my bondmate, here – so that you could meet him?”

Scotty noticed that Sarek’s entire demeanour changed. His rigidity melted away; he seemed to… just glow, to radiate light through his white robe. It was going well, he thought.

“Yes, Son. You may invite your bondmate. I shall personally write an invitation for him – and your Kafeh will go take it to him; should he accept the invitation, your Kafeh is to return with him at once.” Sarek stopped for a moment; all this sounded like an order and he did not want to make it so. “What do you think of this plan, son?”

Spock blinked a few times; it was the first time ever that his Father asked for his opinion.

“It is very gracious of you, Father, thank you. It is a good plan. Leonard is going to be very touched to receive an invitation written by you. And my Kafeh is ready to serve in every capacity.”

He then kissed Sarek’s hand.

“Stand up, son.”

Sarek sat down at his office and wrote down an invitation using splendid Terran round calligraphy; he signed it with an exquisite flourish. He rolled the paper up and tied it with a golden ribbon, to which he added the royal seal.

He turned towards Scotty.

“When you return, Mr. Scott, do not damage my security any longer, if you please.”

“Speaking of which,” Spock added. “That was ruthless and stupid, Scotty. You will fix the damage you have done.”

“Aye, Sir. Will do.”

“And to make up for the damage you made, you shall project and build a planetary shield which would be unbreakable by all standards. That means unbreakable by Romulan, Klingon and Borg predators.”

“You ain’t seri… okay, sure Master.”

“Much better.”

“Well then, I am going.”

“I will see you off,” Sarek said, making all his attendants, scattered through the room, exchange puzzled looks. Even Spock frowned. “Do not be so surprised, gentlemen. Mr. Scott may be your Kafeh, Son, but he is my guest.”

“I was also your prisoner,” Scotty giggled, leaving the room with Sarek. “Ahem, did you want to tell me something in private? I thought everything went pretty well.”

“It did, Mr. Scott, and I am in your debt. No, I did not want to tell you anything in private. I shall not put you in the position of hiding things from your Master.”

“Oh. Oh!! You actually WANTED to… actually…. See me off?”

“You say _actually_ much too often. It jams your grammar.”

“Don’t care about grammar.”

“What do you care about? EXCEPT engines and my son.”

“Jim is also quite alright. And you’re not bad either, Your Majesty.”

“I am not sure if it is an insult or a compliment,” Sarek said amused.

Scotty giggled joyously, he waved at Sarek and off he went inside his shuttle.

Sarek shook his head. Humans!

Humans…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy this story, drop a comment for the author. It is much appreciated.


	11. Something Extraordinary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Missed me?”   
> This was a question to be avoided, for both their sakes, Sarek thought.

“Ah, Leonard! Very cool that you came to greet me, come on, we have stuff to do.”

“Huh? Wait, Scotty, hold your horses. Tell me what is going on!! Have you seen him? Is he in good health? Has something happened to him?”

“He is in very good health for his age,” Scotty said dragging Leonard along. “And he isn’t too full of himself for a king.”

“What In The World are you talking about? Because I am asking you about Spock!”

“Oh!” Scotty exclaimed joyously. “He’s fine too. Come, you need to come and sit down to read the letter I brought you and then we need to prepare everything.”

“Why do I need to sit down? Is it something terrible? Scotty, give it to me already! Is it from Spock? Has he written to me that he is leaving me? It’s that, isn’t it?”

“Calm doon! It’s nothin’ of the sort. Come on, to yer quarters. Sit doon and read, here,” Scotty said offering Leonard the paper from Sarek.

Leonard opened it with trembling hands. He was impatient, nervous and apprehensive; he wanted to preserve the beautiful paper and, at the same time, he wanted to just tear it into pieces to get to the content faster.

_“Kind greetings, beloved Doctor McCoy. Allow me to invite you to my humble house so that we may be acquainted. You shall be reunited with your bondmate. We both convey you our sincere salutations and await for you with benevolence.”_

Leonard read the letter a few more times.

“You done? You know it by heart alrrredy.”

“He wants me – they want me to come there. Why hasn’t Spock called me?”

“I may have disabled their main communications satellite.”

“You What?”

“Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, okay? Landing on that planet is difficult. Now we need to acquire leave for you from Jim and then get you dressed up.”

Leonard rolled his eyes.

“I wish you stopped treating me as if I were a baby!”

“Spock left you in my care and you are his submissive bondmate. That means you get to do what I say.”

“Jesus Christ!”

“I know, I like it too. Get dressin’! I’ll get yer paperwork done.”

“Oh! You will? I don’t have to deal with paperwork?”

“Nope. I know paperwork gives you severe migraines.”

“Bless your Scottish soul.”

//Is Leonard dressing?//

//Oh!!! Yes, he is. I am not looking, be calm.//

//I am calm, Mr. Scott. What is he dressing in?//

//I brought him a cool light-blue Vulcan robe which wonderfully enhances the splendid blue of his eyes. Also I’m adding good perfume to the equation.//

//Vul---//

//--can robe, yes, Master, and you cannot stop me.//

//No dress uniform?//

//Nope! You may do what you want; me and him, we shall do what we must. And until the moment you can order him to wear something else in person, I can promise you he is going to wear Vulcan things.//

//Ahhh, Mr. Scott, Mr. Scott…//

//Yes, Master, Master.//

//Pay attention to Leonard now. I am unshielding the Bond.//

“Yo’ Lion! Yer Master says he’s unshieldin’ the Bond!!”

Leonard came and sat on the bed immediately, since he knew the process will affect him temporarily. He felt the Bond progressively brightening and it was the most wonderful feeling, like the sun rising in the morning, slowly-slowly filling everything with love and light. He gasped with joy!

“You okay, prince charming?” Scotty inquired, passing him a glass of water and giving him a friendly punch in the shoulder.

“I am very okay. I’ll finish dressing and then we can go. I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Cannae wait to see him, right?”

“I just cannot wait, oh God. I miss him so much, Scotty.”

“Myeah. Okay, finish dressing. I do not think Spock would appreciate me staring at you in your underwear.”

Leonard blushed up to the tip of his ears and went to hide in the dressing area. What was he thinking!!!

“Yer so cute! I’m goin’ to Engineerin’ a bit and then to shuttlebay. Meet me there in thirty. I need to pick some tools to fix their planet.”

“Well if anyone can fix a planet, that is most certainly you.”

 

 

Leonard rushed to Spock and threw himself in his arms, forgetting all about the protocol he had been rehearsing in his head and which was meant to impress Sarek, who was monitoring the encounter carefully, of course. He would act according to all Vulcan protocol, yeah; but perhaps later.

Spock kissed his lips, his eyes his cheek over the meld points with thirst and despair. His bondmate! He had missed him with everything that was alive within himself. His soul, his life. His Leonard.

Leonard knelt in front of him.

He kissed his hand reverently, radiating love and joy and submission with every gesture.

“My love, Leonard,” Spock murmured, looking into his eyes deeply.

Leonard kissed his hands again; there was such longing in his heart, he just wanted to be one with him, to melt his soul, his life-essence into Spock.

“Stand up now,” Spock murmured after a few seconds. “I will have you meet my Father.”

Leonard stood up, feeling nervous and apprehensive; but it was something that had to be done.

He stood up, he wiped the sand off his robe and straightened his back.

Spock offered him his arm – and together they advanced towards the main entrance – where Sarek, dressed in splendid royal garments – was waiting for them. Spock had seen him dress earlier; and still, whenever he looked at him, he was just… dazed by his splendour.

Spock knelt – and Leonard, well acquainted with the protocol on this occasion, grace to Scotty’s merciless training during their flight – knelt too, holding Spock’s hand.

“Noble King and Father,” Spock began. “Allow me to introduce to you my bondmate, Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

“Thank you, Son, for bringing your bondmate to our humble home. May I address him?” Sarek asked formally, since no Vulcan would address another one’s mate without specific permission, no matter the circumstances. Tradition was tradition and Sarek respected it to the core.

“You have my permission to address my bondmate,” Spock answered formally as well.

“Doctor McCoy, I am indeed happy to see you,” Sarek then said, turning towards Leonard and effectively scanning him, head to toes, observing all the tiny details – how Leonard had chosen to wear a Vulcan robe for the occasion; how he had combed his hair to look ‘more Vulcan’ and how he had taken care to appear impeccably. How he had not lifted his eyes from the ground until Spock’s permission had been conveyed. And how all this had not been planned – yes, someone had taught him the rules, but there was an inner force… an inner light which compelled Leonard to act and behave this way.

Spock had been right, Sarek thought.

Leonard was exceptional.

“Your words do us honour, Ambassador Sarek,” Leonard replied with a beautiful smile.

“Please, stand up and come inside. Spock, see to the needs of our guest.”

Spock took Leonard’s arm, helping him stand and they went inside the house.

Sarek relaxed visibly, turning to look at Scotty who was standing aside, having brought out of the shuttle an ample amount of metallic cases which Anwyll was relentlessly scanning and analysing.

Scotty smiled at him.

“Hiiiii!!!”

Sarek raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“What happened to _Greetings, Noble King?”_

“You’re not the type.”

“I am not _the type._ Oh, heavens.”

“Missed me?”

This was a question to be avoided, for both their sakes, Sarek thought.

“What is in all these boxes?”

“Tools.”

“Which kind of tools?”

“Oh, y’know, this and that, small things to fix the planetary shield and make you some kick-ass defenses. Master wants me to build you such a defensive network, that not even the Kilgons and the Borg could breach it.”

“He is an idealist. Such a shield has yet to be built.”

“Dinnae have to worry, Noble King. My name is Montgomery Scott. I invent things.”

Sarek sighed.

“Anwyll, get your team and bring his gear inside. Organize a quiet place for him to work, get him consoles, a stable ansible connection, food and water.”

“Yes, Master, immediately.”

Scotty looked at Sarek, then at Anwyll dubiously.

“He only says these three words?” he inquired after Anwyll was out of sight.

“Those are very useful words, Mr. Scott.”

Scotty laughed joyously and gave Sarek a friendly punch on his shoulder, disappearing inside to supervise the unloading of his technological gear, ready to start working.

Sarek flinched – such manners! But then again, he was tolerating Scotty’s behaviour and even encouraging it, so he should not complain. Also, a torrent of emotions had rushed towards him through the brief touch. Such youth, such impulses, such intelligence… it was a joy.

A joy? Had he actually thought that?

He straightened his robe and went back inside the house where Spock had taken care to offer Leonard cold water to drink, as customs required. They had exchanged a few words; Leonard looked excited and nervous; Spock was petrified. The forthcoming discussion was going to be difficult for the three of them and both Sarek and Spock were at a loss of words. He had been an Ambassador for so many years, Sarek thought – and yet, he could not even communicate with his son and his mate.

But then, something extraordinary happened.

Leonard advanced towards him, holding a small package in his hand.

“Ambassador, allow me to offer you this gift - a small, modest token of my appreciation.” He placed the package in his hands, careful not to touch his fingers in the least. “It is the manuscript of one of the most important Terran works, _Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica_ by Sir Isaac Newton. I know you appreciate science and are an expert in superior mathematics and therefore I thought… you might enjoy this.”

He had done his research well, Sarek thought. He received the precious book with a gracious bow of his head and a rare smile flourished on his lips.

“Doctor McCoy, your gift brings me great joy for a variety of reasons. Let me assure you that I shall give this precious manuscript my undivided attention as indeed I have a lifetime passion for mathematics. I shall retrieve Mr. Scott, because otherwise he is fully capable of skipping dinner in order to fix the damaged shield, and I shall ask the three of you to join me to the living room. While this is our first formal meeting, Doctor McCoy, I shall ask you both to… relax and enjoy the feast my good Anwill has prepared. I shall return momentarily.”

Dinner was not at all the dreadful event with awkward silences and definitive decisions which Spock had imagined. Scotty chirped about shields and engines almost without stop; he would only make small pauses when it was necessary to serve Spock – which he insisted to do, despite the presence of an entire army of servants. Leonard held Spock’s hand the entire time, allowing his master to read all his emotions and, most importantly, to feel all his love and trust.

“While your Bond is not recognized by the House,” Sarek said carefully – it was painful to say, but it had to be said – “I shall not deprive you of each other’s presence for the time being.”

Spock held Leonard’s hand tighter.

“I have assigned you larger quarters for the duration of your stay. Son, I expect you to explain Doctor McCoy what the Kir’Shara consists in – and make a decision by tomorrow morning, of which to inform me.”

“The _Kir’Shara_?” Leonard murmured.

“I shall explain,” Spock murmured, crushed by worry and grief. He was well aware there was no way out of this house than either through Kir’Shara or… through death. But then, Leonard smiled at him with confidence. That smile…

“It has been a long day for all of us,” Sarek said standing up – “and Mr. Scott really needs a break from talking. Really, son, your Kafeh is extremely… energetic. Which reminds me, since your Bond is also not recognized by the House, Mr. Scott, know that you are a guest here and not a servant, you need not wear a black robe and there are no obligations for you to attend to my son, there are servants who…”

“Listen here!!” Scotty snapped at him – and Spock felt like dying that very instant, what the hell was Scotty doing, yelling at someone who was his Father, his Owner and even more so, a King? “You will give me a break with all those rules. I am Spock’s servant. That is all there is to be discussed about it. I don’t need you to recognize anythin’. Got that?”

Sarek pondered over his words, wondering whether he should feel offended or amused. He found the young human’s courage extraordinary.

“Very well, Mr. Scott. There is no need to be crass about it, though. Anwyll, assign the small room next to Spock’s suite to Mr. Scott. Since he is so keen to serve his master, he should be in his vicinity.”

“I apologize for his manners, Father,” Spock said, looking downwards. They had gone so far and here he was, dear Mr. Scott, potentially ruining everything.

“I shall let you deal with your Kafeh as you see fit. If you want my input, a good Kafeh should only say three words.”

“Lemme guess!” Scotty exclaimed. “ _Yes, Master, immediately!_ ”

“That is correct, Mr. Scott,” Sarek said, not hiding his amusement.

“Ha! Nope nope and nope.”

“I thought so. Good night, gentlemen,” Sarek said, retreating to his chambers.

Spock gave Scotty a harsh look.

“Aww, don’t frown, Master, really now. I am being my lovely self.”

“Rather your infernal self.”

“He loves it.”

“Of that, I am sure,” Spock admitted, for he had not felt, nor detected any traces of annoyance in his Father, regarding his Kafeh’s behaviour. “Still, you are so keen on protocol, you give us lessons and download pdfs with rules of behaviour for me and Leonard, and yet you are treating him infernally.”

“He needs to be treated infernally!! You cannae do it, nor can Leonard, so that makes me the only one who can deal with him. Let him be angry with me, it will divert his attention from your stubbornness.”

“Mr. Scott…”

“Good niiiiiiight, Master, Leonard… see you in the morning, byyyyyye!!!”

Scotty fled the room.

Spock sighed, taking Leonard’s hand.

“He is going to be, as you humans say, the death of me.”

“He is only trying to help, Master… But let us not talk about him. Let us talk about you and me. Why am I here? Why are YOU here? What is going on and what or who is the Kir’Shara?”

“Slow down, Leonard… I will explain what the Kir’Shara is in a moment… let me just… feel you for a while,” Spock said, placing his fingers on Leonard’s face. He had missed him so much – he wanted to be one with his mind for as long as they had left… Leonard’s mind was calling to him stronger than ever and he longed to rest in its vast, splendid harmony…

He could tell Leonard was unsettled. It was only normal; he had not been given any information, and yet here he was, blindly following him to the margins of the galaxy if necessary.

He melded profoundly with Leonard, as if wanting to see if his mind could withstand the great Kir’Shara challenge. However, he knew he was looking with the eyes of the lover – terrified he would lose his mate – and not with the impersonal eyes of the one applying the pressure on their Bond in an attempt to break it. He had absolutely no idea if Leonard could go through the test successfully. At the same time, he knew very well that if Leonard failed, it would mean his death. And he could not live without Leonard. And Sarek – would he still be able to continue after having killed his own son? He knew well, he knew what connected him – there was no way Sarek himself could survive such a tragic event.

Would the world exist without Sarek?

Nothing existed without Sarek.

Why was Sarek stubbornly insisting to put them through the Kir’Shara?

“The Kir’Shara, my beloved Leonard…” Spock began, breaking the meld. It was better to explain what it was outside the meld because he did not want to flood Leonard with his worries. “It is hard to put into words which humans would understand. The Kir’Shara is a –“

But Spock could not finish his sentence because a terrible blast shook the house; he threw himself over Leonard, shielding him from the explosion shockwave with his own body. A weapon had been fired – he recognized the cause of the blast before losing consciousness.

 

I aimed – and I wanted to fire again, to tear their house to pieces; my powerful weapon needed a 30-second time-frame to recharge; I was counting the seconds. It was just then that their planetary shield, all new and strong, came back online and it rendered my plans useless. I could only hope I had been able to cause some serious damage down there; they would hear about AnJoan Grey again.


	12. The Great Montgomery Scott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How did you manage to get the planetary shield back online so quickly? I thought you said you needed hours of work.”
> 
> “When under attack, one works faster. Motivation!”
> 
> “One?”
> 
> “Well. Me. I guess.”
> 
> “Define faster. How long did it take you to get the planetary shield back online?”
> 
> “Some 30 seconds, which is long if you ask me.”

_Before I go on unfolding their memories – for I am their keeper – let me just tell you that at that time my actions were guided by fierce hatred. I hated Sarek of Vulcan. I would have loved to kill him myself, to tear his flesh apart and break his bones into to small pieces. I h.a.t.e.d. him._

 

Scotty looked at Anwyll who was terrorized with worry, fear, anguish, having covered his ears with his hands; his consciousness was undoubtedly flooded by the memories of another attack – the Day of Destruction of planet Vulcan. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure that out, Scotty thought.

“LISTEN HERE! Are you listening?”

He went to him and removed the hands from over his ears and forced the Vulcan to look at him.

“It is alright! I have restored the shield! I am pinpointing the location of the attacker – I have called for backup. I have accessed the weapons grid and I am arming the main torpedo array. I’ve got this, Anwyll, you have got to trust me! Go and see where the King is, this instant!!! He may be hurt. Bring him here at once. Okay? Are You Listening, you damn elf???”

The warden blinked a couple of times, as Scotty was shaking him.

“Go attend to your Master. NOW!!!”

“Yes, Mr. Scott, immediately,” the Vulcan managed to say at last and he rushed out of the room.

Scotty pushed away his own need to just rush and see what Spock was doing and if he and Leonard were alright. This was pure Starfleet discipline kicking in: _first things first_. He could sense Spock was alive and unless he acted quickly and efficiently, there were chances that the attacker would fire again. He’d be damned if he’d let him harm those people! He managed to disable layer after layer of firewall protecting the weapons array – really, Vulcans and security!!! – and he armed the three most powerful torpedoes he identified. Damn!! It needed Sarek’s clearance.

Mercifully, it was just then that Anwyll was returning to the room, carrying Sarek in his arms. The beautiful king seemed to have been severely injured.

“Report!!” Scotty snapped at Anwyll.

“He has a bad wound to the head and – and – several – we need… I need…”

“Put him on the sofa, pull the sofa closer to me, come on, quickly now. Get that towel and put it on his forehead.”

Grateful to be given concrete orders which he could follow, Anwyll complied without any comments – too distressed to see his Master and King in such a state.

“He needs a doctor, and fortunately we have the best one here. Go look for Spock and Leonard, they should still be in the living room. Bring them here at once.”

“I cannot leave my Master,” Anwyll exclaimed, looking on the verge of losing his mind any second now.

“He needs Medical Assistance, you Bloody Elf!!! Go!!! That’s an order.”

It seemed to work, even though Scotty was well aware he had no authority giving orders to these people. He knew equally well that Vulcans were no warriors and strategists and they were clueless when it came to responding to an attack and first aid protocol. Most of them had been so affected by the loss of their world and by the abrupt bond breaking between the survivors and those who had perished, that they could simply not react in dangerous situations at all.

He leaned over Sarek, cupping his face, looking at him. If there was something that could revive a Vulcan, that should be… the touch.

“Open eyes, I need you.”

Sarek opened his eyes with great effort.

“We are being under attack. I need access codes to your torpedoes. I have activated the planetary shield. Trust me.”

Sarek attempted to talk but he immediately started to talk, chocking on his own blood.

“Shit!” Scotty exclaimed, turning him on one side. “Breathe slowly, the doctor is on the way. Don’t you die on me, you listen??? I’ll kill you if you do!!”

Sarek extended one hand towards him with difficulty. Scotty immediately perceived his intention to meld and came closer to him, helping him touch the meld points as easily as possible. It was pure information transfer. Arming codes.

“You are great and magnificent,” Scotty exclaimed, careful not to interrupt the meld too brutally as he had learnt it could be painful for a Vulcan. He kissed his hand afterwards, hoping he was not committing a sacrilege and he refocused his attention to the console he was working on.

Anwyll returned to the room, carrying Spock with Leonard’s help.

“Leonard, start talking and start attending to the King as soon as possible,” he said arming and firing at the attacker whom he had quickly identified – someone in a bad-ass shielded ship, but well, he could fire well. Especially when he was pissed off.

“Half of the house has collapsed. I cannot scan for life-signs, there must be people trapped underneath. We have all been injured by things falling over and by broken pieces of concrete. Spock is unconscious. I think it was because of the noise.”

“The noise!!! Yes – the explosion blast was too loud for their sensitive ears. He is coughing blood,” Scotty said pointing to Sarek, even though he was quite sure Leonard will not pay any attention to anyone else before making sure Spock was alright.

To his surprise, Leonard dropped everything and rushed to Sarek. He scanned him thoroughly, changed his position on the sofa and began treating him at once.

Scotty felt his own mind settling upon knowing someone was taking care of both Sarek and Spock properly and efficiently. With the attacker withdrawing, he procured an aerial view of the collapsed construction, scanned for life-signs, got a portable drill machine from his tool kit and went to retrieve the other wounded Vulcans. To his relief, no lives were lost.

 

When he opened his eyes again, Sarek found that his wounds have been tended to; he felt no pain – except a violent headache which, he concluded, came from the anaesthetic the Doctor had utilised. He sat up and he saw Leonard hovering over Spock, who was still unconscious.

“Bring him here, Doctor. His head onto my lap. I will help.”

Leonard looked at him for a moment, pondering whether this was a good idea or not. He decided to follow his instructions – he could only hope that Sarek will not harm him – and he felt ashamed for having thought so. He gently carried Spock to the couch and placed his head on Sarek’s legs. Immediately, Sarek melded with him, looking to see what was the cause of that dark veil obscuring his son’s consciousness. Was it physical, was it a telepathic attack?

It was a synaptic overload caused by the noise – as it was the cause with the other Vulcans in the household – a short circuit of the delicate mechanism in the inner ear, much more sensitive and delicate than that of Humans.

“Inner ear damage,” he told Leonard.

“I can fix that,” Leonard exclaimed with relief – he could fix mostly everything, but he was grateful to know what the problem was faster than his tools could determine.

He placed two small neural transceivers on Spock’s forehead.

“Does he experience any pain?”

“Now, yes, the procedure of inner ear regeneration is always painful for a Vulcan.”

“Then perhaps you can numb his pain receptors.”

Sarek nodded, he connected a double meld – both his hands on Spock’s left and right cheek. It was easy for him to do the required operation, no matter how tired and ill he was. He felt someone lean against his legs – Anwyll.

“I am fine, Anwyll. Breathe deeply and go into the stage one of meditation. No words, just Anapanasati.” Sarek waited until he felt his faithful servant settle into meditation – he knew him well, he had been terrified beyond everything to see him hurt. Anwyll’s faith and adoration were immeasurable.

“What’s _Anapanasati_?” Scotty inquired, rubbing his eyes.

“Come to me, Mr. Scott. You are finished there.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Scotty procured a bunch of pillows from around the room and organized a makeshift bed, which looked a bit like a nest, at Sarek’s feet, near Anwyll. He was dead tired.

“Could I have a… what you Starfleet officers call… a _status report_ , Mr. Scott?”

“You can extract everything from my mind,” Scotty murmured, cuddling on the pillows and placing his head comfortably on Anwyll’s legs, to the warden’s complete astonishment.

“Both my hands are currently occupied, Mr. Scott, so I would be grateful if you talked.”

“Whatcha doin’ to my Master, by the way?”

“Helping heal the damage.”

“He’s out cold, I cannae feel his consciousness.”

“He will be fine in a few hours. The enemy, Mr. Scott?”

“One attacker in a large ship that looked somehow Romulan, but not quite. It had some markings on the hull, but I could not make them out. Unknown ideograms. There are pictures of it in my mind. I breached through his shields, however, as if they were made of cheese – really, people, the only species with proper shielding are the Klingons, you should pay attention to them and learn!”

“Oh why, why did I ask him to talk?” Sarek sighed.

Leonard smiled. It was entertaining to listen and watch, despite their difficult situation.

“So, this dude, the attacker, pinpointed your exact house and fired at it. Very luckily, he missed. It is fortunate that aliens are stupid.”

“Let me then remind you, Mr. Scott, that I also qualify as _alien_.”

“Wot? Cut the crap, you are not an alien, you are practically… family. I guess. ANYWAY! No hermeneutics, please. He tore down half of the house, but I have already assessed the damage, got blueprints and construction plans, Jim is on his way here with solid construction materials.”

“How did you manage to get the planetary shield back online so quickly? I thought you said you needed hours of work.”

“When under attack, one works faster. Motivation!”

“ _One_?”

“Well. Me. I guess.”

“Define _faster_. How long did it take you to get the planetary shield back online?”

“Some 30 seconds, which is long if you ask me.”

Sarek and Leonard exchanged puzzled looks.

“Aww don’t look at me like that. Jim has trained me well. You know how he wants things done now, now, now, do it, do it, do it…”

“That much is true,” Leonard confirmed with a laugh. “Jim can train you into doing things up to the best of your abilities and beyond.”

“Yes, I… know. I have always admired the young Captain. So, after you re-established the planetary shield, what did you do?”

“Several simultaneous things. I pinpointed the location of the attacker, I hacked into your weapons system – you know that already – we melded and you gave me access to arming codes and I fired at the dude.”

Sarek cringed at the terrible language and accent.

“Does he always talk like that?” Sarek asked Leonard, who had finished repairing the damage suffered by Spock and he was injecting him nutrients.

“Much worse. People are called, in general, _you, bloody idiot_ , or _listen here,_ or…”

“Yesyesyes, I’ve heard those too. Mr. Scott, needless to say you saved all our lives, probably the lives of the entire colony. I cannot begin to convey how…”

“You should probably stop, he has fallen asleep,” Leonard interrupted him.

“The moments I get to live as an Ambassador,” Sarek said with amusement. “In the middle of my speech, the public falls asleep.”

Leonard giggled at that. Sarek was not the terrifying Father-in-law he had pictured, the cruel despot ready to punish and destroy when someone did not act or do things his way.

“I am very much awake, Ambassador…” Leonard whispered softly. “And I really wish you could explain what the _Kir’Shara_ is.”

“Did my son not explain?”

“He didn’t have the time. He was just starting to, when the so-called _dude_ fired at us.”

“He should be the one to explain. He is your Master and Bondmate. You do not make any decisions.”

“Oh, I know that. But right now, I believe we shall all gain from you telling me what this is all about, because he fears telling me, I can tell; and I really, really want to make this work, Ambassador. I love your son… I do not know how I can show you, how I can make you understand…”

“I know you do, I can see it.”

“How can you see it?”

“Doctor McCoy, I am currently melding with my son and I have melded extensively with him prior to your arrival. Even in the moments when he was unconscious, which allowed me to probe all aspects of his consciousness, I could sense your love. Your love for my son is nurturing his very life-force, it is filling his entire being. I know how much you love him and the extent of your devotion to him brings me joy. Yes, I admit – I had other… desires for my son, I would have wished for him to pick a Vulcan female, but you must understand that this desire is founded on the need of strengthening the line of succession and on the necessity of an heir which would have less Human genes. Spock’s heritage is 50% Vulcan, 50% Human. This means that he, as my successor, shall not be able to maintain the amount of bonds which a Vulcan king normally nurtures.”

“Wait, I want to understand this. You as a Vulcan king – have a bond with…”

“With every single Vulcan which exists.”

“But there were two billion people on Vulcan!!”

“Yes, Doctor…” Sarek said with sadness.

“Oh my God, how that must have hurt!!! When 80% of these broke!!! Oh my God,” Leonard murmured, his eyes teary, overwhelmed by the realization of the fact.

“Among them, Doctor, there was my wife. And other dear and beloved people. Now, the only survivors are those in the colony. Therefore, you see why… I wanted Spock to choose a Vulcan female and procreate and give me a strong heir. Spock’s mind, because of the genetic particularities and the fact that he is half Human, cannot bear such an ample amount of bonds. It is nothing personal against you, Doctor. It is simply a matter of survival of the species.”

“We shall give you a full-blooded heir, I promise you that.”

“How, Doctor?” Sarek asked with unhidden interest.

“Genetic resequencing. There is nothing that I cannot do, medically speaking.”

“Spock will never agree to that.”

“Let _me_ worry about that. Now, the _Kir’Shara_. You promised to tell me what it is.”

“Very well, Doctor. The _Kir’Shara_ is an ancient challenge. Long ago, most Vulcans did what Spock did… this is actually not new in the least. They saw a potential mate they wanted, they simply… took that person; they would steal the man or woman from their parents’ courtyard and bond with them – do not frown, it is never non-consensual here. The attraction between two mates always goes both ways – that connection, once established, draws them together with an unstoppable force. The head of the family could approve of the choice or not. When they did not approve, the Kir’Shara challenge would be invoked. The submissive partner of the respective couple would go through the test.”

“And the test consists in…”

“In front of all the clan, the head of the family attempts to remove the Bond, through a meld of course, from the submissive mate’s mind.”

“For how long, or how many attempts are there?”

“For seven minutes. Literally, this is what _Kir’Shara_ means. _Seven Minutes._ ”

“I take those are very intense seven minutes.”

“Indeed so.”

“Is it painful?”

“Yes.”

“Will Spock perceive the pain as well?”

“Yes, if he chooses not to block it.”

“It is unlike him to block anything which comes from me. Therefore, he WILL perceive it.”

“Very much so. But even more importantly, he will suffer way too much distress to even think about pain. Spock is sure you will die during the Kir’Shara.”

Leonard lowered his eyes, saddened.

“Why is he so sure of that? My love for him is stronger than the foundations of Earth.”

Sarek smiled with benevolence, but his eyes were sad as well.

“It is not because he does not trust you, my dear child,” he murmured. “It is because he does not trust me.”

“He believes you will kill me on purpose.”

“He does.”

“But you are not capable of killing, Ambassador. I am sorry – I am absolutely sure you are incapable of killing.”

“There are very few things I am incapable of, dear Doctor… Killing is not among them. Remember, I am the King of Vulcan. I would do anything for my people, for my race, whatever it takes. But I do not plan to kill my son’s bondmate.”

“You should tell him this,” Leonard said simply.

“He shall not believe me.”

“He shall; Vulcans do not lie. Right?”

Sarek remained silent. That much was true: Vulcans did not lie. The Doctor knew well the most important truths about their race.

He looked at the sleeping figure of Mr. Scott.

“He did give me permission to meld in order to acquire the necessary military information. You think he might get upset if I… meld with him while he is asleep?”

“I am very sure he won’t,” Leonard said. “In fact, I am quite sure he’d be thrilled.”

“He is a very special person, your Master’s Kafeh.”

“No, he is an extraordinary person and a certified genius. We are lucky he is… with us.”

“While I do not believe in luck, Doctor McCoy, I agree with you here. We are very fortunate. He saved all our lives. And now… let me see from whom.”

Sarek extended one hand and melded deeply with Scotty, who didn’t even move. He went through the thought processes, he reviewed the entire set of actions which Scotty had undergone in order to keep them safe; he went more profoundly into his mind, acquiring the image of the attacker’s ship.

Oh, how well he knew that ship.

He frowned.

“Well?” Leonard inquired impatiently. “Who was it?”

“It was, dear Doctor, the powerful demon of the dark realms, my enemy since the dawn of my life. The one whose only purpose is to destroy me.”

“Who, more exactly? Because there are plenty of ‘demons’, even among people I know.”

“His name is AnJoan Grey.”


	13. The Man Who Could Fix Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I, Montgomery Scott, am humbly asking you, King Sarek of Vulcan..."

Jim stopped in front of the Vulcan Royal Residence, which had been severely damaged by the attacked reported by Scotty. He had brought an entire shipment of construction materials and tools, as well as workers. Scotty came to greet them and show them in, as if he owned the place.

“Jamesie!!!”

“Ahem. Mr. Scott,” Jim tried to maintain a serious tone, even though it was difficult upon seeing his friend so joyous. And there was something else… Scotty was, until now, the only person who knew about him and Christopher – oh, how he missed him!!! How he missed him!!!

“Shit,” Scotty commented, reading through his friend as if he were an open book. “Master Chrissy released you from his dungeon?”

“Did you just call Him _Master Chrissy?_ Jesus, Scotty!!”

“No, I’d rather not call him _Jesus_.”

“Alright, stop with the profanities. Where is King Sarek? What is Spock doing?”

“Things are going great!! I mean… not exactly great. The King will be here momentarily to greet you. Just don’t say anything which starts with ‘May you…’ you know? Those official greetings really annoy him.”

Jim smiled. How could one be mad at Montgomery Scott? It was impossible. He spotted the doors behind them beginning to open and a beautifully dressed warden looked to see if there was any danger threatening the King, but apart from Mr. Scott – who, for him, qualified as Great Danger – he observed nothing else. He scanned the surroundings with several tools, perfected by the same young engineer – and he finally went back inside to announce that it was safe.

“That’s Anwyll. He’s really cool. He cuddles me when I fall asleep.”

“He… _cuddles_ you? When you fall asleep?” Jim asked astonished.

“Aye. I tend to fall asleep in the weirdest places. Really, who has time to sleep in a normal bed? There such a shitload of work in this house… gosh! And I thought I was comin’ here to have a vacation and conduct diplomatic talks…”

“Oh, shut up, you…!!! Greetings, Your Majesty,” Jim said, seeing the beautiful figure of Sarek of Vulcan appear in the doorway.

“Captain Kirk! It is a real pleasure to see you again, dear friend.”

Jim blushed at the compliment, while Sarek quickly scanned him, physically and emotionally – as much as it was possible without touching – and for his fine-tuned perceptions, a lot was possible.

“I would offer you a friendly embrace, my friend, but I see you are the bearer of a young, new bond of love. I am unsure whether your partner would approve of others touching you.”

“I appreciate the thoughtfulness of your intention, King Sarek. Indeed, my… love bond has just… uh… formed,” Jim said blushing some more and trying to put everything in Vulcan terms. “But my partner would not mind us hugging since he knows you are an honourable person and a good friend.”

“In that case…” Sarek said warmly and opened his arms and Jim just melted into the embrace, forgetting that this was the feared Ambassador who threatened to do bad things to his First Officer because he had disobeyed parental guidelines. Somehow, Jim could not picture him being mean either.

_(They were all wrong.)_

“Your Majesty. I have brought workers and construction materials. I shall personally supervise the works. I heard that my Chief Engineer has designed you an unbreachable planetary shield.”

“He did so, and we still struggle to understand how,” Sarek replied with amusement.

“Believe me… I had to present four sets of papers for each worker in the shuttle, proving that they were non-Cardassians, non-Klingon, non-Changelings and non-Borg. Seriously? Could a Borg disguise into a Human, Scotty?”

“I could tell you some stories about a girl named _Seven of Nine_ , but not now, of course. I need to get very drunk for that,” Scotty commented sheepishly.

“I thank you for your thoughtfulness, Captain Kirk. Indeed so, we really needed a security upgrade after what had happened to us and to our beloved, lost planet. May I be of any assistance?”

“Not in the least, Your Majesty, unless you want something done in a particular way.”

“Not exa---”

“Of course he wants things done in specific ways!!!” Scotty snapped. “Here is a blueprint I have designed for each room. Make sure each wall meets the construction standards drafted here and here…”

Scotty continued on the same line for another 30 minutes. Jim was exhausted. Sarek was apprehensive.

“Stop, youngling, you are starting to become confusing and tiresome. Let the men do their work.”

“THANK YOU,” Jim exclaimed, signalling his team to proceed.

Scotty sat down on a bench.

His heart ached.

Sarek was looking at him, his hands loosely clasped behind his back, a contented, calm expression on his face.

“Hi.”

“You already told me _Hi_ this morning,” Sarek commented.

“This was an emotionally-charged _Hi_.”

“Oh! Pardon me. Why emotionally charged?”

“You know… we’ll soon finish rebuilding and we’ll have to go.”

“Let me then remind you, Mr. Scott, that you came here keen on saving your Master from my wrathful hands.”

“Blah, blah. They’ll take the Kir’Shara and be successful and we’ll leave. You know very well that this is how things’ll go.”

“I do not venture to make any predictions about the future, but I can tell you Mr. Scott, that I hope you are right, that they shall successfully pass the Kir’Shara challenge I shall be able to give my heir what is his.”

“Spock’s very rich, right?”

“He is, _in theory_. But since he made it very clear he wishes to be a Starfleet Officer, I doubt that any of those riches shall be of any appeal or use to him.”

“You’d like for him to stay here, right?”

“This planet needs him, and it also needs you and Leonard and other resourceful people like the three of you… I am old, Scotty. A time will come…”

Scotty threw his arms around his neck and held him tight, to Sarek’s complete astonishment.

“Don’t say things like that. The universe cannot exist without you.”

However inappropriate that hug was – in plain daylight and in front of workers and servants and various other staff members – Sarek just did not have the heart to push him away; with a resigned sigh, he gathered him in his arms.

“Gonna miss you like hell,” Scotty murmured, not caring if Sarek could amply read him through the touch. Life was short. He was gonna be truthful about who he was and what he felt. Even if… right now, he had no idea what he felt.

“Have you got something to tell me, Mr. Scott?”

“I just did, you, oblivious elf.”

“You told me you are going to miss me. That is a symptom of a much deeper feeling.”

The thought completely freaked Scotty out. A deeper feeling? He had DEEPER FEELINGS for Sarek of Vulcan? For the bloody King Sarek of Vulcan?? What the hell was wrong with him? He could not just develop a crush on a King. Kings were worshipped, they were adored… but _loved_?

He gently broke the embrace, straightening his back and looking into his eyes for a moment.

“Right. I’m gonna go help Jim.”

With those words, he fled away.

 

Spock came back to his senses many hours after. He could feel Leonard almost immediately, his warmth, his smell, his arms around him.

“Leonard…”

“Master,” his mate murmured. “Take it easy, don’t make any sudden gestures. It is alright. You suffered a severe inner ear trauma which I could fix, but you needed a lot of sleep to give your nervous system the necessary time to recover.”

Spock caressed his arm slowly, he just needed to feel him. To make sure he was alright.

Leonard felt like melting upon that tender touch… tears gathered in his eyes.

“I need to know everything that happened…”

“Yes, Master. Shall I tell you, or would you rather meld?”

“Tell me a bit, while I come back to my senses. I cannot wait to meld.”

“Here, I brought you kreyla bread and honey and coffee. Your Father’s warden took some convincing to allow me to cook in their kitchen! Apparently it is unheard of, for someone ‘my rank and position ‘ – whatever that means – to even go near the kitchen.”

Spock smiled, imagining the good Anwyll shocked to the core by Leonard’s attempt to make coffee and sandwiches. There were servants throughout the house and Leonard still insisted doing everything by himself.

“The details of the attack are still obscure to me, Scotty knows everything better. It appears some alien fired at the house. Portions of it collapsed. The majority of Vulcans in the house were harmed not by the debris or things falling, but by the noise.”

“Father…?” Spock asked with a trembling voice.

“He is alright. He had a small blood vessel rupture which I quickly sutured. He was the one who… who helped me look after you. It was very delicate work. He was very worried and… how can I say this, Master. He was mad with worry for you.”

“I am sure he must have been. Any potential loss of Vulcan life is a tragedy, since we are so few left.”

“It is not that… and you know it. He was worried for _you_ , his son, his only child.”

Spock pushed that thought, and other dark thoughts, away. Not overthinking. Not now.

“How was the attack neutralized?”

“Oh well, that was Mr. Scott’s awesomeness in action. He restored the planetary shield and hacked into your Dad’s weapons planetary interface and fired at the attacker, all these actions being performed in under one minute or so. He was just… I have never seen something like this.”

“Oh, I am not surprised. Let me remind you that Mr. Scott postulated the transwarp theory and he and Jim were able to beam upon the Enterprise whilst we were traveling at warp, not to mention that time when he practically disabled the arming mechanisms on Admiral Marcus’s ship… Mr. Scott is unlike any of us, Leonard.”

“I am glad you appreciate him. He saved all our lives here. Your Father also seems to… appreciate him.”

“For all the good reasons…”

“Yeah, they…”

Leonard grew silent, fearful of not overstepping.

“They?” Spock asked, suddenly worried. “I don’t like the way you say ‘they’. Is there a _they_?”

“I am not sure. I saw them melding for ample hours… perhaps it was just to transfer information, perhaps there is nothing more to it.”

“I truly hope so. Because that would be a tragedy. Mr. Scott would not survive such a cataclysm.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Them having a… ‘them’ moment, to express this delicately, Leonard. Mr. Scott is a person who feels deeply, with the intensity of a tempest. My Father is fully able of generating those feelings and even encouraging them, in order to obtain what he wants, be it information, allegiance or simply a night of pleasure.”

Leonard looked at him shocked. Spock had nothing but deformed views regarding his Father and Leonard could not help but feel sorry about the whole situation. Sarek really, really did not seem like a jerk.

_(Spock was right.)_

“Oh well. Given your thoughts about him, I guess there is no way you shall agree to the Kir’Shara, am I correct?”

“I will never agree to something that means your potential death, Leonard. Of course I shall not agree to the Kir’Shara. I am trying to see if there is any way for me to contact Jim and see how we can get out of here.”

“Jim is right outside.”

Spock blinked a couple of times.

“Outside?”

“He is helping with the rebuilding of the house.”

“I shall go talk to the Captain.”

“Master, I ask of you to listen to what I have to say and after that, if you want, you can punish me, cut me into pieces. Whatever you want.”

Spock felt intense worry. What was Leonard attempting to communicate here?

“You may speak…” he said apprehensively.

Leonard got out of the bed and knelt by Spock’s side on the floor.

“I think I am right to say that no one is going to stop you – us – to leave, Master, should you decide so. Your Father is not the sadistic bastard you think him to be. He told me what the Kir’Shara is and how the test is not meant to harm but rather to praise the love bond which was created between us – pardon me, long before you placed the actual Vulcan Bond. I have loved you for a life time and will forever love you and I’d be damned if this love isn’t stronger than anything!!! Even he – he told me that he melded with you many times since you got here, and he could see how strong our Bond is. Do you actually think I cannot endure seven minutes of pain, in order to have our bond recognized by the House? Do you trust me so little?”

Spock took a deep breath.

“It is not you, Leonard… it is…”

“Nonono. Don’t even say it. I will not let you say it. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you do, because it is unfair. It would be a lie and you cannot lie. Your Father does not wish to kill me, Master.”

“You are so sure of that, Leonard, because you spent one day with him and you talked. Let me remind you that he is an Ambassador. This is his specialty: convincing people of things he wants them to believe. He could convince a demon to believe in angels, believe me when I say that!”

_(Spock was right, regarding that.)_

“Do you distrust him THIS much, Master?”

“Trust and distrust do not have degrees, Leonard. There is either trust, or distrust.”

Leonard felt he was not getting anywhere.

“I will let you rest now, Master. I need some air. If I may?”

Spock looked at him with sadness. He felt something had been lost of their prior harmony and peace and he had no idea how to rebuild it.

“You may go, of course, Leonard…”

Sad but also furious because of Spock’s stubbornness to see what he thought it was obvious, Leonard went outside. He was of a mind to just go to Jim and Scotty and see how he could help, take his mind off things, do something else for a change.

He bumped into Scotty on the main hallway.

“Wassup? Is the Master up?”

“Yeah…” Leonard said with sadness. “And he is stubborn as hell.”

“Lemme guess. No chance of Kir’Shara.”

“He doesn’t even want to hear about it.”

“Ayeaye. Lemme fix that for you?”

Leonard rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“How could you possibly _fix that for me_ , Mr. Scott? He does not even want to take the possibility into consideration... the possibility that his Father, a keeper of tradition and Vulcan customs, wants to give his son a genuine heritage of…”

“Listen here. You just go take a deep breath outside and smoke a cigarette whilst I fix this for you, okay?”

“I don’t smoke, crazy!”

“Then you should perhaps start. Hold on, Leo my boy. Let your Engineer fix them things.”

Leonard sighed. Really, Scotty could be infuriating sometimes, but he also knew that no matter what, whenever he decided to do something, there was no way he could be stopped.

 

Scotty went to look for the King. He found him in a distant corner of the garden, near a pond.

He went straight to him, took his hand, momentarily startling him and knelt at his feet.

Stirred out of his reverie – and by whom? – Sarek turned his entire attention to the young human at his feet.

“What… are you doing, Mr. Scott?”

“Please, tell Anwyll to leave. I am not planning to assassinate you.”

Sarek dismissed his faithful servant, who always lingered by, with a discrete nod.

“What is it, Mr. Scott? What have you got to tell me, so important and official?”

Scotty felt overwhelmed by emotions; this was hard, this was… suffocating.

“Come now… calm down, why do you not you stand up, Mr. Scott? This is not… necessary between us, you know that already.”

“For this particular request, it is. This is a formal request, King Sarek. You melded with your son and with me and you know how his bond with Leonard came to be. How he had placed the claim, how the claim was growing and evolving and how I stole their bond and the tragedy which followed. The bond fragments which still linger in my mind, which I do not want to give up, which give me constant migraines, those bond fragments are, in fact, remnants of the same love Bond which they share. The bond in my mind is just an appendix of the high Bond between your son and Leonard.”

“I know this, Mr. Scott. I know your mind. We melded for many good hours. What are you saying?”

“I, Montgomery Scott, am humbly asking you, King Sarek of Vulcan, to allow me to go through the Kir’Shara challenge in their place.”


	14. Courage

Sarek had heard many things in his life; he harboured the strong belief that nothing could impress or surprise him anymore. Still, the young human’s request shocked him to the core. He had never, ever seen such a proof of courage, of loyalty, of love. Such devotion. Montgomery Scott was willing to go through the Kir’Shara challenge instead of Spock, to protect him, to spare him the torment and the pain.

The young human at his feet, Montgomery Scott, was unlike any other being he had met.

He felt privileged.

He felt… proud.

He extended his beautiful face and melded with him profoundly, without asking for permission anymore – he felt it was not necessary between them anymore. He verified his intentions, his determination, his resolution.

“I accept your generous proposal, Mr. Scott, and I thank you for your sacrifice. Let me convey to you the fact that such a thing has never happened.”

“I love being the first doing some things,” he tried to joke, but the truth was he was very nervous, and he was actually trembling. Was it because his proposal had been accepted, or because he was at Sarek’s feet? He could not tell. “So, um. How are we going to do this? Are we going to do this now?”

“Of course not. The Kir’Shara challenge is undergone in front of the entire clan. I will be very proud to show my entire family who Montgomery Scott is. With that occasion, who knows, maybe my son will learn a thing or two about courage.”

“Leave him be, okay? He is the bravest of men. I have seen him do stuff… nevermind. Just do not talk bad stuff about Spock.”

“You truly love him,” Sarek said with warmth in his voice.

“I _truly_ love him? You thought that perhaps I was pretending? I adore him!!”

Sarek lifted him up, slowly, his hands on his shoulders.

“You do not _adore_ him, Mr. Scott, stop your exaggerations. You love him and that is very well. Love him; he needs your love and your devotion. Now here is what you have to do, before the challenge.”

“What?”

“Rest. I place my personal chambers and Anwyll at your disposal. Your mind needs to be completely at peace, undisturbed by emotions, strong but not… stormy, if you are to do this. Anwyll will show you how to meditate, do not reject his lessons.”

“Your _chambers_?” Scotty inquired, who did not hear anything else. “You mean your bedroom and… bed? Don’t you have guest rooms?”

“As you already are aware of, Mr. Scott, you had them demolished and they are in the process of being rebuilt. The only two habitable suites are currently mine and Spock’s. It is out of the question that you share a room with my son, since he and his mate need their privacy; therefore, logically, the only option left is my room.”

“We could share,” Scotty suggested, his ears red.

“We, um, could. However, we shall not. Anwyll! Come, there are new orders for you.”

 

“Captain!!” Spock exclaimed, seeing Jim supervise an exterior wall being rebuilt and reinforced by the workers.

“Mr. Spock!!! Good to see you. How are you? I, um… know of the problems.”

“The problems… yes. Might we retire somewhere, where we can discuss? That bench near A’lok tree.”

“Sure, Mr. Spock,” Jim replied jovially, following him there. Jim’s eyes were shining brightly; he was radiating pure happiness. Every little thing he did, every step he took, he felt Christopher was watching him; he felt so organically that he _belonged_ to him that he forgot to breathe at times.

“First, Captain…”

“Spock. It’s you and me. We are friends. You _do know_ you can call me Jim. You have called me Jim one hundred times before.”

“I have called you _Jim_ exactly three thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven times, Cap… Jim. I was just not sure that your mate would approve of such familiarity on my behalf.”

“My God, is it _that obvious_?”

“What are you referring to, Jim?”

“Is it that obvious that I am with… someone?”

“Yes, Jim. You are… shining.”

“Thanks,” Jim murmured blushing and looking downwards. “God, I love him so…”

“I know. I have always known.”

“Yeah? Then my name must be Captain Obvious.”

“Your name is James Tiberius Kirk. I hope that Captain Pike is treating you honourably and that he has logged your relationship. And I wish you nothing but joy and harmony together, Jim. He loves you enormously.”

“How do you know?”

“Jim, uh… it was very obvious. And besides that, he has offered me his hand for a shake numerous times, thus giving me the opportunity to… um…”

“Read him,” Jim laughed.

“Let us say… _analyse_ him.”

“And you knew he loved me.”

“Of course I knew.”

“Why haven’t you told me???? I have lived in such torment,” Jim complained.

“I would never do such a thing, Jim. Not even if you asked. Whatever information is received through the touch, by a Vulcan, is never shared. It would have been a betrayal. What matters is that you love him, and he loves you, and you were finally able to act upon these feelings. Now you may understand me better, and my love and compulsion to protect Leonard.”

“I know how much you love Bonesy. It is really so obvious. You were just made for each other. You know he loved you from the first moment?”

“He did convey the fact that he fell in love with me at first sight. I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment in time when he saw me.”

“Oh, I can tell you that. Remember when I cheated on Kobayashi Maru?”

“That, Jim, is impossible to forget.”

“Yeah,” Jim laughed. “Anyway, there was that gathering, with all the colleagues and teachers and they had me and you step forward and discuss why I had cheated. So, when everything was over and we had to rush to the shuttle port because of the situation on Vulcan, I asked Bones: ‘Who is that bastard?’ You know, I was referring to you.”

“I am flattered,” Spock also smiled.

“Well, and then Bones told me: ‘I don’t know, but I like him’. I thought he was just being a meanie because you had wiped the floor with me and he always enjoys when people are giving me a lesson. But in fact, he actually… that very moment he had fallen in love with you.”

Spock remained silent, lost in reverie, sweet moments of the past when they did not have such problems… or had problems of a different category, problems they knew how to deal with.

“Jim, understand me. I cannot put Leonard’s life at risk. Please take him out of here.”

“What? What are you saying, Spock? You want me to take Leonard and… and what about you? What is going to happen to you?”

“I disobeyed my Father to such a degree, Jim that we are beyond… fixing. All I wish is for Leonard to be safe.”

“Do you realize, Spock, what consequences such an action could have? It would be…”

“…a tragedy,” Sarek commented from behind them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “An unnecessary tragedy, my children. Spock, cease such thoughts. You and your mate are not prisoners here. You shall attend the reception I am organizing to celebrate the… reconstruction of the House and you shall all be free to leave.”

“Father…” Spock murmured, troubled as he had never been in his entire life. “Father, I am sorry I did not mean to convey…”

“You are not sorry, son, so please do not utter apologies if you do not mean them. I can still leisurely read you, even without melding. Now I will let the offense slide and refer to it no more, under the condition that you assist your Captain and friend with the reconstruction, I want to organize a reception tomorrow; you have tools and workers and you are more than able to finish by tomorrow, if you work relentlessly for the entire afternoon and night.”

“Yes, Father,” Spock murmured. He could not remember the last time he felt such shame.

“You will attend the reception with your mate and be a good host. The guests are… family; what is left of it, anyway. Therefore, do your best. There will be a dress-code so do not even dare…”

“No Father, of course not,” Spock said looking downwards. “I shall wear whatever robe you desire.”

“At last,” Sarek sighed. “I have a lot to organize for the reception. Work hard if you want my forgiveness for your utterly atrocious behaviour.”

“Yes, Father.”

Sarek left, returning back to the house.

Jon rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Well, Spock… shit.”

“You are right,” he said with sadness. He had been so convinced that Sarek’s opinions had not changed, that he was the cruel despot keeping him and Leonard locked here… Not for a single moment did he take into consideration the fact that Sarek may have changed his mind, that he may have changed… who he was, in fact.

“We need to work something out if you want him to forgive you…”

“I do want him to forgive me. I will do my best,” Spock said sorrowfully. “I will go change into more appropriate clothes and tell Leonard what has happened; then, I shall join you.”

“Very well, Mr. Spock. And don’t be so upset… you messed up, but he loves you; even I can see it.”

“I know, Jim. I know. He is a far better man than I am.”

 

Spock and Jim worked very hard for the next afternoon and night. Luckily, Jim had brought machines and workers who were able to do a week’s work in a much shorter period of time. Leonard stood by their side and looked after both of them and after the workers, worriedly; he disliked seeing people do such hard physical work but he had understood that this was important for Spock – and apparently for Sarek too, because he would often send Anwyll to obtain updates of the progress.

The blueprints that Scotty had drafted ensured that the construction would be _safe_ , first of all. It could endure a magnitude 9 quake, it could be sealed off in case of a tsunami – which was highly impossible as the climate was dry – and he had designed such a complex security and surveillance system, that it was practically impossible for anyone to breach it.

Wrapped in an ample brown cloak, Sarek was supervising the last details himself. He wanted flowers in certain places, carpets of particular colours, special foods and drinks that exasperated the good Anwyll. He had invited around one hundred and fifty people to the reception and he had personally called each and every one of them.

Not a single word had been spoken about the Kir’Shara.

 

Early in the morning of the challenge, Sarek went to his chambers to wake up Scotty and assist him with the final preparations.

He was pleased to see him sleeping.

Scotty had followed the resting schedule which Anwyll had drafted to the letter. He had slept for long hours, with the help of the warden’s meld. He had eaten and slept some more. His mind was at peace, like the sea on a windless day. No waves, no turbulence. Just calm, tranquil abiding and love. Love for Spock and Leonard – his friends. Trust for Sarek – his – his…

“Time to wake up, Mr. Scott,” Sarek said gently, placing one soft hand on his forehead whilst sitting down on the margin of the bed.

Scotty opened his eyes slowly looking at him between his eye-lids.

Such beauty.

Such immense splendour – King Sarek of Vulcan, waking him up.

“Spock is an idiot. I love him, but he is an idiot,” he declared.

“Good morning to you as well, Mr. Scott,” Sarek said, a bit taken aback, even though he had grown accustomed to hear various insults coming out of the young human’s mouth. “I am in agreement with you that my son is not amongst the brightest beings under this roof, but what exactly has made you say this the first thing you woke up?”

“Because he has the change of seeing this view every single morning of his life and he lets the chance slip by.”

Sarek turned towards the window. The view was pleasant – a tree in the garden and the pond in the distance – pleasant, but not extraordinary.

“Vulcans are so dense, I swear,” Scotty murmured unhappily. “I shall go brush my teeth. Is it time?”

“Almost. Anwyll shall help you dress.”

“In what?”

“In a robe, of course. A beautiful one. I chose it myself, to match your eyes. Brown with blue accents.”

“Dinnae think you noticed my eyes!”

“I notice what is important, Mr. Scott.”

“In that case, I take back my comment about Vulcan density.”

“I do not even wish to begin analysing that particular statement.”

Scotty finally got out of the bed and disappeared into the splendid bathroom, proceeding to shave and brush his teeth. Upon returning, he found Anwyll with the robe; Sarek was looking out the window, seemingly thoughtful.

“So!” Scotty exclaimed. “This is the day you kill me!”

Sarek turned towards him, shocked by his words and even Anwyll froze, ceasing his attempts to tie the robe knots.

“Mr. Scott… it saddens me beyond words to hear that you, too – you, of all people! – believe that I wish to kill you. The Kir’Shara…”

“I did not mean the Kir’Shara. The Kir’Shara will be good.”

“Then pray – what do you mean, Mr. Scott?”

“Nothin’. Let’s get on with it. You’ll understand someday. I need a moment alone to concentrate. Anwyll, come pick me up in ten. And you,” he said looking at Sarek. “Stop worryin’. This is the day you get yer’ son back. It will be beautiful. Do your thing during the Kir’Shara and don’t spare me any pain. It doesn’t even begin to compare.”

“…to what?” Sarek asked, completely puzzled, Mr. Scott was not making any sense anymore. Had he gone mad, perhaps?

Anwyll opened the door to his master and they both gave Scotty the few minutes of solitude he had required.

Anwyll rarely spoke other words that _Yes, Master_ and _Immediately, Master_ , as Scotty himself had noticed. But right now, he saw his King troubled.

“If I may convey to you, Master, what your guest had meant…”

“How could you possibly understand what eludes even me, Anwyll?” Sarek said, shaking his head.

“I was touching him whilst helping him dress, Master; and I also possess the necessary detachment to be able to observe.”

“Are you suggesting that there is something I am missing, Anwyll?”

“You are missing the true meaning of the words he spoke when he referred to the possibility of you killing him today.”

“And that is?”

“After the Kir’Shara, they will leave, and that will metaphorically… kill him. I hope it shall not become a reality as well.”

“And why would that kill him? All of them can hardly wait to get out of here.”

Anwyll looked downwards. He feared crossing the line.

“If you do not see it, Master, I shall not utter it either.”

“I AM READY!!!” Scotty announced, emerging out of the room, fresh and smiley, radiating joy and confidence.

Sarek left his worries aside. He touched his face for a moment, sending waves of calm and trust through the meld.

“Seven minutes, remember and be brave.”

“I trust you,” he told Sarek, looking straight into his eyes – and right before they proceeded, Scotty held his hand for a moment and kissed it reverently.

 

Spock and Leonard had dressed according to the dressing code which had been conveyed. Uncomfortable in the Vulcan robe, which he could never really stand, Spock held Leonard’s hand tight, with despair almost. Near them, Jim was looking splendid and confident in the beautiful Captain dress-uniform.

Jim could understand him, Spock knew. Jim now loved someone – and he had to understand that compulsion to do everything within your power to keep the beloved being safe.

Because if anyone ever so much as lay one finger on Leonard…

“Beloved family and friends,” Sarek spoke from a small podium. “First, let me welcome you all to my residence which has been restored to the beautiful shape you all can see and enjoy by the joint efforts of my son, Spock, and his Starfleet colleagues, coordinated by Captain James Kirk, our good and faithful friend.”

Jim felt his cheeks burn. In all those years in Starfleet, he had never gotten accustomed to praise.

“It is a very important and special day, the day in which I wish to present to you my son Spock – and his chosen bondmate, Doctor Leonard McCoy from Terra – a name which is familiar to all of you, belonging to a person we all owe so much.”

Spock held Leonard’s hand tighter as murmurs filled the room and many pairs of eyes turned to stare at them.

“Their bond does not have my blessing, as it is written in our tradition; but there comes a time when extraordinary events and circumstances make us rethink tradition and choose a different path.”

Spock took a deep breath.

“My son’s Kafeh, Montgomery Scott from Terra, has a portion of my son and his mate’s bond in his mind. The Kafeh’s devotion to his Master is so deep, that he asked to go through the Kir’Shara in their place – and to this I have agreed.”

It was pure strong will that was preventing Spock from falling to the ground upon hearing those words.

“Approach, brave Human, for the challenge.”

Scotty advanced towards Sarek, walking among those who respectfully, almost fearfully stepped aside – and graciously knelt at Sarek’s feet, lifting his head and looking into his eyes.

“I am ready, Noble King. I am offering you my mind.”


	15. Unthinkable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, all those who read and are kind enough to leave a comment; this is the writer's only reward.

_Kir’Shara_ : Seven minutes.

He could do this.

He could – and will do this, because he loved Spock, because he wanted him and Leonard to be in harmony with Sarek, he wanted them to be a family, and he wanted Spock to convince himself that his Father, the beautiful God in front of whom he had knelt – was not a heartless bastard.

_The beautiful god._

The beautiful god was inflicting him pain beyond anything he thought it was possible, pure, raw pain attempting to remove the fragile, already broken bond which still lingered in his mind. He closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the pain, because he would accept anything that came from those sublime hands. He did not fear. The delicate bond was strong as the foundations of life, as paradoxical as it was. Nothing could move it, nothing could destroy it – except his own free will.

Spock was suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of what was happening - the Kir'Shara!!! This was his bond with Leonard being tested! Sarek had deceived him - had he, in fact?

"Master!!!" Leonard was practically shaking him. “Why are you allowing this? It should be me – us!!! Not him!! Do you have such little confidence in me, in your Father, in our love, in everything?? Master! Spock, god damn it!!!”

People had turned towards them – silent witnesses of a terrible, heart-wrenching moment.

“I – am – sorry, Leonard…” Spock murmured, shocked by everything. The Kir’Shara was taking place. Leonard was disappointed and hurt. Sarek was more than disappointed. “I did not know this would happen…”

“DO SOMETHING!!!”

Spock did not know what to do – but for now, he had to blindly follow his own instinct – because doing what felt right must be the solution for a problem. The answer was not _doing things logically_. The answer was _doing the good thing_.

Courage – Mr. Scott was the embodiment of that feeling. He would have to learn from him.

He took Leonard’s hand and advanced amidst the guests who stepped aside. Barely one minute had gone – and there was cold sweat on Mr. Scott’s forehead.

The Kir’Shara meld was strong and life-threatening; it could not be broken before the seven minutes were over. So, he knelt by Scotty’s right side and wrapped his arms around him; he could not take away the pain, but he could support him; he could… hold him; he would do that in front of everybody.

On the left side, Leonard did the same thing, joining his hands with those of Spock, leaning his forehead onto Scotty’s shoulder; he could sense Spock’s approval. Their… servant? – no, their beloved friend was doing what they should have done all along. They would support him. They would carry him in their arms through the pain.

There was an endless murmur in the room.

Spock did not care.

He would make everything right – for Leonard, for Scotty, for his Father. He will fix – he will undo the damage.

Under Sarek’s merciless hand and in the arms of the two beings he so loved, Scotty smiled. The good thing was now happening, and he knew it. He may lose consciousness soon; he may even die perhaps; but he knew that the Kir’Shara was already successful.

“Spare him, noble Master, and take my mind and my mate’s mind,” Spock said. He had carefully chosen the words, knowing how to draw Sarek’s attention upon him.

Sarek gently broke the meld with Scotty and Spock did not let him collapse; he held him tighter, whilst looking up and offering Sarek his own mind. The King’s right hand rested upon his cheek; the left hand, upon Leonard’s. For the remaining three minutes and a half, they were at the receiving end of the pain.

Leonard understood, that moment, why Spock had been so apprehensive about the challenge. This was no small pain. This was The Pain, excruciating and horrible, suffocating and darkening, but he pushed his love onwards; nothing could take away his love for Spock. Nothing and no one. Love shone brighter than everything; _there was only love._

“I, Sarek of Vulcan, recognize the validity, the strength, the beauty and the brightness of the marriage bond existing between my Son and Heir, Spock – and his chosen bondmate, Leonard, son of David. I also recognize the validity and strength of the Kafeh bond, non-existent but logged as such, between my son, Spock, and his faithful servant, Montgomery Scott. All offense brought to my House or to me by my son, Spock, is forgiven. You may all rise, my children, and let the celebration of your union begin.”

A gong resounded profoundly somewhere in the hall and Sarek offered them his hands, to help them stand.

Spock and Leonard did so, helping Scotty stand up as well, pulling him up and still holding him. Sarek embraced the three of them, an angel covering them with his wings.

Murmurs of joy, of approval and applauses filled the room.

Happiness shone brightly in Leonard’s eyes!

“Told you! Told you! I am so happy, Master, thank you! Scotty, Scotty? Are you okay?”

Sarek was also watching Scotty intensely. He was a bit pale, which was normal, given the circumstances; he had performed admirably, Sarek was so proud of him.

“I am fine. Just a little tired. Could I sit down, Master?” he told Spock.

“Certainly; here, let me help you,” Spock said, looking for a sign of approval in Sarek’s eyes, which was immediately conveyed. He then gently guided Scotty to the side and had him sit down on a bench; Anwyll had brought cold water. “Drink, come on.”

Obediently, Scotty drank from his hand, even if he felt nauseous and could barely swallow anything.

Spock did not know what to do first; he had to look after Scotty, to look after Leonard, to discuss with his Father… to talk to the guests which had gathered around them curiously, to take a better look at the brave human Kafeh who had done such an unthinkable thing.

Leonard was already giving him a hand. He had brought his medical tricorder and ran a few scans of Scotty.

“Look after him, Master, his brain-waves are all over the place, don’t worry about me, I am fine,” Leonard said.

Spock took a deep breath of relief, grateful that Leonard had managed to efficiently prioritize their tasks. He almost… wanted to meld with Scotty and see what was going on, except he would not do it; he had promised never to meld with this being again, and this was one promise he felt he had to keep, no matter the costs. It was not cowardice; it was something more; it was something he could not pinpoint yet.

“I am fine, really, I am much better. Is there chocolate?” Scotty asked with a smile, because really, if you asked for chocolate, it meant you were fine.

A selection of pralines was immediately presented to him by Anwyll himself.

Scotty ate a couple of them.

“I am okay, really, Master,” he told Spock, even though he was still far from okay. “Look after Leonard, yeah? Introduce him to everyone. Talk to yer Dad. I wanna chat with Anwy.”

“ _Anwy_?” Spock frowned, looking at his Father’s warden, who had also lifted one eye-brow, surprised.

“Yeah, Anwy. Vulcans have nicknames too.”

“Good luck, Anwyll,” Spock told the warden with a smirk.

People gathered around him and Leonard, to greet and congratulate them. They were happy to see Spock home; Sarek was their King, yes, but to see the King’s Heir – it meant to see their future and their hopes, the very survival of their race. It meant very much that the estranged son, Spock, was finally… at home.

“We are gratified to see that you have chosen Doctor McCoy to be your bondmate,” an older Vulcan told Spock, looking at Leonard with admiration and gratitude. “I still remember how he took care of me and my daughter, the Terrible Day we lost our planet. My little girl had a broken leg; he quickly regenerated it and then, at the end of that exhausting shift, he still found the time to sit by her side and read her a story.”

Leonard smiled, remembering.

Spock held his hand tighter. He was so proud of his mate – Leonard, the wonderful, beautiful, talented and kind Leonard – his mate!

 

“Take me outside, Anwy.”

Anwyll had no comments; he merely offered Scotty his arm and led him outside – he had by now gotten accustomed to Mr. Scott touching him very often. They went to the garden and Scotty collapsed on a bench, placing his head onto Anwyll’s lap.

He started to cry.

The good warden said nothing; it was not for him to comfort the young, the beautiful, the exceptional human.

“It hurts.”

“I know,” Anwyll replied simply, acknowledging his pain.

“I am not talking about the Kir’Shara.”

“I know,” the warden repeated.

No other words were necessary; but the brief dialogue made Scotty feel much better. Yes; someone had seen his pain; someone had seen… **why**. Sometimes, you only needed a silent witness to your pain, to make it bearable.

“Do you have a mate, Anwyll? They must be very jealous of me plastered by your side. I should apologize.”

“I do not have a mate, Mr. Scott. I am a Kafeh.”

“And the Kafeh do not have mates?”

“Not very often.”

“Why?”

“Because serving a Master is, most of the times, enough for a Kafeh.”

“What of when your Ponn Farr begins?”

“The Master decides.”

Scotty felt shivers. There was still much he did not know about the Vulcan culture.

“Anwy, will I get through the Ponn Farr?”

“No, Mr. Scott. Humans do not go through the Time. The Human physiology is different. Be thankful for it.”

“Is it painful?”

“It is deadly, in the absence of an appropriate mate.”

“Will Leonard be okay?”

“Doctor McCoy will do exceptionally well. Mr. Scott, I think you should perhaps…”

“…I shall go to the shuttle, Anwyll. Our Captain was saying that we would be leaving tomorrow at dawn and I noticed a small malfunction to the landing gear. I wanna go check it out.”

“…now?”

“Yeah. There is no better time like the present moment.”

“But Mr. Scott, this is exactly why…”

“Nono, Anwy. Not doing anything of the sort.”

 

It was the middle of the night when the guests started heading to their homes. The reception had been splendid; with Leonard talking to each and every single one of them, promising to come and stay longer and deal with the health and fertility issues of all the members of the colony; each guest had received flowers from Sarek’s own hands; Spock was reacquainted to the Council members and other dignitaries and James was courted by a multitude of people he was trying very desperately to avoid. Sarek was the most pleasant host, even if at times his eyes wandered through the room, as if looking for a particular person.

 

Spock woke up early. It had been a blissful, unforgettable evening and an extraordinary night – for the first time since he had bonded Leonard, he had been able to love him without any feeling of guilt. By all laws and rules which existed in both their worlds, Leonard was his to keep and cherish, and everyone recognized this as a fact. Even… Father.

And now, the time had come to make amends for his past faults and failures.

He got up and took a cold shower.

He shaved correctly and combed his hair.

He dressed in a black robe.

“Location of King Sarek of Vulcan,” he inquired towards the console, grateful for the technology which Scotty had installed throughout the house.

<King Sarek of Vulcan is in the main kiosk in the garden, section E, perimeter 5.>

Spock smiled; the location provided by the console seemed similar to that of a board chess. The King to E5.

Now it was time to prove he was also brave.

He went to the garden, finding his father sitting cross-legged on a meditation mat, wrapped in a simple black robe. Anwyll was, of course, not far.

 

“Father.”

“Spock,” Sarek acknowledged his presence. “Sit with me, my Son.”

Spock sat down near him, cross-legged, his hands clasped, looking troubled and feeling shy. They had been through so much already; but what he was about to do surpassed in difficulty everything Spock had every done in his entire life.

“Did you have a good night with your bondmate?”

“Yes. Leonard is exceptional.”

“Humans are fragile. Fortunately, your Time is still far.”

“I know. I am mindful of his physiology.”

“It is very long since I have had a male partner. I have always enjoyed it, though.”

“I also have similar preferences, as you well know. Father… there is a good reason for which I am here.”

“I am listening, Son.”

“What happened… was unthinkable.”

“I am in agreement. However, be specific.”

Spock took a deep breath.

“Father… will you grant me the honour of asking for your forgiveness in the appropriate way, and therefore stand up?”

Sarek felt deep emotion traverse his soul. Maybe his Son and himself were on the good path of healing the wounds inflicted by their own hands.

He stood up, whilst Spock adjusted his position, now on his knees.

Spock extended his hands towards his Father, and Sarek took them in his.

“Noble Father and King. I have done grave errors.”

“Enumerate them, Son.”

“I went against your will and joined Starfleet. I chose a mate you did not approve of. I refused to go through the Kir’Shara. I distrusted you.”

“Your only fault, Spock, is the last one which you mentioned. You thought I wanted to harm you and your mate, while it was never the case. But now, thanks to your exceptional Kafeh, we have managed to reach a conclusion; your Bond with Doctor McCoy has been acknowledged and will be honoured. You shall remain my heir and he, your bondmate.”

Spock kissed his hands with profound, obvious love.

“Father, my beloved. In the morning, we shall have to return to the Enterprise. Jim advised me earlier that Admiral Pike wants us to go on an urgent mission and I cannot refuse. But as soon as it is over, Father, if you will have me… _us_ … we shall return and remain for a while. I wish to help with the reconstruction of the colony and I believe Leonard and yourself discussed… your future nephew!”

“He mentioned the fact that he possesses the ability to conceive a child with more Vulcan DNA, to strengthen the line of succession. That is not derogatory in the least, Spock.”

“I know, Father. We shall give you your heir. Father, I humbly ask you to assign a penalty or punishment for all my wrong deeds.”

“Let this feeling of remorse be your punishment, my Son, and may something new and beautiful grow from it.”

“As you wish and command, my noble Father… There is something else I wish to tell you, Father.”

Sarek held his hands tighter. It had been so long since they lived such a pure, perfect moment of harmony, just the two of them.

“What, my Son?”

“I know it will shock you and it will perhaps upset you, but it is a request of great importance for me, and I beg of you not to refuse it.”

“What is it, my Son? What do you wish to ask? You must feel and know, now, that I will never deny you anything, ever again.”

Spock gathered his courage.

“Therefore Father, you will grant me that which I am about to ask of you?”

Sarek frowned. Why was Spock being so cautious, what did he want to ask? It was a bit unsettling… but at the same time he wanted to set the foundation for something good between them, and for that reason he was determined to give Spock whatever he wanted. But why wasn’t he asking already?

“Son, you have my promise that I shall grant you your request, provided that it does not imply me harming other beings, and especially Vulcan beings. I have been through way too much loss. And I have been a bad king. A cruel king. A thoughtless king. Today, not only did I win my son back, I also won… my own self.”

“Beloved Father and King, Sarek of Vulcan,” Spock began, on a formal, elegant and yet humble tone, looking up into his eyes. “I, your son, Spock of the House of Surak, willingly ask you to give me something that was never given by a Father to his Son. I am asking you for the _Kafeh Bond_.”


	16. The Distance Your Heart Must Traverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This, Mr. Scott, is the distance your heart must traverse.”

When he thought he had heard everything, his son, **his own son** , his flesh-and-blood, the former wayward, rebellious and inconsiderate Spock – was asking for the Kafeh bond – the lowest of all bonds, the one which was given to servants – those who devoted their life – mind, body and soul – to serving their master and owner. It was the way of things in the Vulcan culture, to have servants; however, it was unheard of… to have your son ask for the low bond of submission.

Once more, Sarek of Vulcan, who had heard everything in his long life – except the things he had heard in the last couple of days – was shocked beyond belief.

It was not the Master who chose the Kafeh. It was the other way around, all the time. The servant chose the Master whom he would serve, because submission had to be freely given. Otherwise, you did not have a Kafeh; you had a slave.

Perhaps Spock had gone mad? Perhaps his mind had been so altered by the last turn of events, that he needed a healer, urgently!

Instinctively, Sarek – the only remining Vulcan healer – extended his hand and melded with his son profoundly, to look for the root of such a peculiar, strange and shocking request.

What he found… only surprised him even more.

There was love there, there was devotion; regret and heartache; there was, above all, the desire to serve. _We come to serve_ was the slogan used by himself at the beginning of any negotiation.

His Spock was there to serve.

“Why, Son?” he asked, because he had been unable to find the reason in his mind.

“Because this is how I feel in your presence. Because I want to give you my full trust.”

“Spock, this is a very radical way of offering me your trust. Should I give you this bond, your free-will over your own life will end. You will only possess your bondmate and your own Kafeh; nothing else. I could order you to resign from Starfleet; I could lock you in my house; or in a dungeon; or send you on a distant planet, like… Remus, the cold hell; I could break your mind, tear your flesh, use your body as I see fit; I could have you during my Time; I could do the worst, most terrible things to you.”

“I know,” Spock said. “This is why I ask for this bond. Because I trust you and therefore I trust that every decision you make regarding my life shall be in my – in _our_ benefit.”

“Son, listen carefully. If I give you this bond, I am not undoing it. It will be forever. A full, mature Kafeh bond.”

“With a valid telepathic connection as well?”

“With. You will not be able to remove me from your mind; I will watch your thoughts whenever I want, even at times when you wished I had not.”

“Please proceed, Father.”

Sarek looked at him intently, as if he wanted to engrave Spock’s features in his mind, in his soul forever; this was the last time he was looking at… his son. He could not predict how things would evolve; such a thing had never, ever happened. This was so new and raw, he did not even know how to start. But he will do it.

He placed his fingers again on Spock’s face in a different configuration, gathering his inner strength for the bond-creation. It was never easy, but it was always so refreshing. There was nothing more beautiful than a new bond. The emotion, the beauty…!

“I, Sarek of Vulcan, take you, Spock, my… son, to be my Kafeh; from this moment until the very end of our days you shall serve me in all capacity and obey all my orders without a single hesitation. I lay a claim upon your mind, upon your body, upon your spirit and upon your immortal katra. They are all mine. You will be obedient, loyal and faithful to me and serve no other Master.”

“Let it be so, noble Master,” Spock said, trembling with anticipation.

And then, the Bond burst into existence, wonderful and bright, shining and illuminating both their beings, a two-way gift which had waited… to happen for a long time.

Perhaps this was how things had to be between Sarek and his son, Spock.

As tradition requested, Sarek took his hands and placed his wrists one above the other, holding them tight, as if preparing to… tie them.

“You will now pay attention to your instructions, Kafeh.”

“Yes, Master,” Spock murmured, his soul pulsating painfully with emotion – and it was, this time, a good pain.

“This is between you and me. No one will know. ABSOLUTELY no one. When the time is right, we shall reveal the existence of this Bond; you shall let me do it. When I say it is time.”

“Yes, Master.”

“When you return from the current Starfleet mission, you and your bondmate shall take a leave of absence of six months. I need you here.”

“We shall do so, Master.”

“You will reacquaint yourself with the Vulcan discipline and resume the practice of Vulcan defensive training techniques, of chess, of calligraphy and, needless to say, of meditation.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Last, but not least, I am the only healer left. You will learn the technique of healing, from my own hands; doubled with your mate’s abilities, you shall become a blessing for this wounded colony.”

“You shall therefore want me to see to my duties as a Starfleet officer a bit… less than before?”

“Yes. Do you regret? I do not ask you to give it up.”

“I do not regret it. I was expecting it and I am ready for it. Leonard yearns for a home… he hates space. And if we are to have children, I will not have them grow up in space.”

“A good judgement. I am pleased. Now stand up; Anwyll may perceive the existence of the bond as he is very sensitive to me. I trust he will ask no questions and you shall provide no answers.”

Spock smiled; he kissed Sarek’s hands with deep, obvious devotion. How he loved him…

“Stand up, and be mindful of how you address me. Whenever someone else is present, _Father_ is the word.”

Spock obeyed immediately – and he stood up.

“Anwyll. Two strong coffees, please,” Sarek ordered. He knew his faithful servant was not far; his sensitive hearing would pick up his words and would rush to bring the requested items. Indeed, minutes later he brought them their cups of coffee, nicely arranged on a silver tray.

“Do you have any information about your forthcoming mission? Is it classified?” Sarek inquired.

“Jim mentioned earlier that Admiral Pike wants us to pinpoint the location of your attacker. With Mr. Scott’s help, they were able to determine where he is hiding. He wants us to conduct an investigation and come up with a plan, ensuring that something like this never happens again.”

Sarek looked at him worriedly.

“Therefore, I am not wrong in assuming that Admiral Pike is sending you in pursuit of AnJoan Grey.”

“I do not have all the information, but I shall provide it to you through the Bond as soon as I have it.”

“Spock, be careful about information sharing. While I can look in your mind whenever I want now, that does not mean I request you to share sensitive, classified information.”

“This one is not classified, Master. Admiral Pike wants us to catch and neutralize your attacker. He will most likely inform you of the plan soon enough.”

“Spock, it is very dangerous. AnJoan Grey is no usual being.”

“What does he want?”

“Me; or rather, to destroy me, because he cannot have me.”

“He is… in love with you.”

“I am his obsession, the object of his eternal passion; he has been pursuing me for decades and never could have me. He vowed to destroy me. I am not happy that you go to him – but who knows. Maybe this time you and your resourceful crew shall be able to subdue this creature.”

“Is he humanoid?”

“Vaguely. He is terrifying. You shall see. And now, Spock, there is something else I need you to do. It is about Mr. Scott.”

“What about him?”

“He seemed very troubled. I want you to go and find out why, now, before leaving.”

“I will go immediately,” Spock said, kissing his hand one more time. This small gesture… had become very important.

 

Flat on his back, with his head under a console, Scotty was rerouting wires. His soul was aching so strongly that he had to just do something, he just had to work and stop thinking about… beautiful, highly forbidden things. He was just a mere engineer, he should not forget that. A dirty young human, hands full of grease, mind full of stupidity.

“Mr. Scott?”

Scotty instinctively wanted to sit up, forgetting that there was a hodgepodge of wires right above his forehead. Inevitably he bumped into them.

“Fuck.”

“I see we have devolved from _Yes, Master_ to _Fuck_. Mr. Scott, get out of there. I need to speak to you.”

Scotty crawled out of the console he was uselessly repairing. He remained cross-legged on the floor, looking up towards Spock. Okay, so Spock was sort-of frowning – if Vulcans were even able of such a thing.

“Okay, wassup?” Scotty inquired, because right now he found it truly impossible to say _Yes, Master._

“All matters are sorted, I wanted you to know. Leonard has managed to establish a very good relationship with my Father and everyone here seems to hold him in high regard – they are fond of him as they are of you. Also, I have apologized to my Father and I am in the process of making amends. He wants me to return here after our current mission, to help with the colony reconstruction. Scotty, thank you. None of this would have been possible without you.”

Scotty smiled with all his heart.

“I am very happy to hear all this. I really wanted… I mean it is all very good that you re-established harmony. It is very obvious that you and your Father love each other very much. It’s not like the usual Father – Son love; it is something else, much more profound. It would have been a pity… to just fall apart.”

Spock felt shivers upon realizing the high degree of Scotty’s intuition.

“Scotty, I noticed there is something wrong with you. You seem troubled and apprehensive, and unless my observation skills are at fault, you have been crying.”

“Na’… it’s the grease from all those wires I was reroutin’. Why would I be crying?”

“I am waiting for you to tell me and not to lie to me.”

“Spock, listen,” he said, and it was the first time in a long while he was using his name. “I haven’t asked for anything since the… _thing_ happened, since I have become your servant. I only wanted to serve you and make amends for my own mistakes and you know I love you and Leonard very much. But if you do care about me just a little, and if you allow me to make one small request, just one, hear me out: DON’T investigate this particular matter. Just let me be. I don’t wanna talk about it. And I know very well you will not meld with me, so whatever it is… it is mine to endure.”

“Scotty, I cannot let this slide. You are not only my servant – in fact you are not even that, since the actual bond does not exist – but also my friend. ESPECIALLY my friend. You, me, Jim and Leonard have been together through everything and we have always been honest to each other and loyal. What has happened? Has my Father done something terrible to you? Has he… abused you in any way?”

“Your Father hasn’t laid a finger on me, except when melding, which was always good and nice. Your Father is an honourable man.”

“Then… someone else?”

“Nobody abused me – can you please stop? I asked you nicely not to do this, I am asking again. Let it go. I did not complain about anything, did I? I did not ask for help, did I?”

Spock placed one hand on Scotty’s arm.

“We are leaving soon. Do you want to go say good bye to my Father?”

Atrocious waves of pain traversed Scotty’s heart.

“No.”

Spock would not meld with him, that much was true; but the pain washing over Scotty’s consciousness did not escape his touch-telepath perception. Fortunately, his friend was too troubled to understand that he had inadvertently answered Spock’s question more precisely than he would have been able to do using words.

“Very well, Mr. Scott. Reassemble the console and start the engines. I will go say good bye to Father and bring Leonard. Jim will be flying the shuttle he came with, together with the workers.”

“Ok, cool,” Scotty answered, grateful that the uncomfortable and dangerous discussion was over.

 

/Your location, Master?/

/My chambers. I am changing garments. Come to me./

Spock went to him at once and entered without knocking; the advantage of the bond was that permissions were given instantaneously and spoken words were rarely necessary.

Anwyll was dressing Sarek in the splendid, white robe which had the royal symbols of the House of Surak in light-green silk embroidery. Spock stopped. Sometimes Sarek took even his own breath away… so it was very much understandable that Scotty – as well as an endless number of other beings – were overwhelmed by his presence.

When Anwyll finished dressing, Sarek dismissed him with a short gesture. He signalled Spock to come closer, pointing towards the floor – and Spock knelt in front of him. A lot of time would pass since he’d be able to do this again, so he had no objections whatsoever. And when he thought of the state of mind he was in, upon arriving on New Vulcan…

Sarek extended his hand and touched his face, he melded with him profoundly. He reviewed the entire dialogue between Scotty and Spock and the emotion Spock had picked through the touch.

“Is Mr. Scott currently alone in the shuttle?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Good. Make sure no one disturbs us.”

Sarek signalled him to stand up and followed him to the shuttle. He remained two steps behind, as the Kafeh bond protocol required – something which, of course, did not escape Anwyll’s acute sense of observation.

 

With his back towards the shuttle door, cross-legged on the floor, Scotty was putting his tools back into the box.

Sarek opened the shuttle door and came inside, closing it behind him.

Scotty remained still – he felt how the air in the room suddenly changed, as if everything suddenly became brighter, bigger, more beautiful – the air, the life itself… he did not need to turn, in order to know who had come in, because Only One Person could bring about such change, wherever he went.

He stood up and wiped his dirty hands on the engineering red shirt he had on.

Then, he turned towards Sarek of Vulcan, the Almighty, Beautiful King.

He bowed his head, deeply.

Sarek said nothing, acknowledging the bow with a powerful look. There had been moments of friendship between them; this was not such a moment.

Slowly, Sarek advanced towards him; Scotty remained still; he could not move even if he wanted, his presence was paralysing, overwhelming for body, mind and soul. Sarek of Vulcan could indeed subdue any being… just by existing.

When in front of him, Sarek cupped his face between his palms. Their minds were not connected like in a meld, but even so, he could read everything – thoughts, emotions…

 “You are coming back to me, Mr. Scott. When my Son returns. At the end of the current mission. Is that clear?”

“Sure,” Scotty murmured lost, because their return here was some sort of distant, indefinite thing. Who knew if they were even going to survive the confrontation with AnJoan Grey!

“I will meld with you.”

“For what?” Scotty asked, startled and fearful of betraying his feelings for the beautiful king.

“For important reasons and purposes.”

“NO. Please – do not. I don’t know what Spock told you, but… I don’t wanna discuss it, I don’t wanna discuss about anythin’ and I am fine really, you all need to leave me alone now.”

“Mr. Scott, grant me access to your mind.”

“No, no and no.”

“You did allow me to meld with you extensively before.”

“This is different.”

Sarek took a good hold of his curls.

“Mr. Scott, for the third and last time, I demand that you allow me this meld.”

“You cannot meld with me if I say no. It would be an abuse – you are not like that.”

Sarek closed his eyes for a moment and tightened his grip on Scotty’s hair.

“I would rather you said yes, but let me remind you, Mr. Scott, that there is nothing that _I cannot_.”

“Why, why? Why do you and your son insist to force me to… ‘talk’ when there is absolutely nothing to talk about?”

“You lie, Mr. Scott, and it is your own denial that is hurting you.”

“Let Me Go!!!” Scotty protested, trying to remove himself from Sarek’s tight grip, even though he was well aware there was nothing he could do against a Vulcan’s strength.

Sarek pulled him even closer, his head levelling with that of Scotty. He reduced the distance between them until their lips were perhaps threemillimetres apart, and held him there, not letting him move an inch.

“This, Mr. Scott, is the distance your heart must traverse.”


	17. Our King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone with him – alone with him!!!

“Has he regained consciousness?” Spock asked, looking towards the back side of the shuttle where Leonard was tending to an unresponsive Montgomery Scott.

“He is coming around, Master,” Leonard answered softly. Between then, there were no problems; there was only happiness and joy, and it was so blissful.

“Very well. Jim and myself are coordinating for docking with the Enterprise. Mr. Scott should function quickly, we have been advised that we would be leaving very soon.”

Leonard sighed. He really did not want to go on a mission. He wanted to stay with Spock, in bed if possible, and enjoy their union. So much had happened, they did not even…

“I want a honeymoon.”

“A-what?” Spock lifted one eye-brow.

“A honeymoon. I want to go somewhere with you, just the two of us, and just snuggle all day.”

“At the end of our present mission, Leonard, I shall see that your desire is fulfilled. We can go to Risa if it is to your liking, but be advised that it has only two moons, none of which is made out of sugar glucose and fructose…”

“God help me from the literal Vulcans… okay, nevermind the honeymoon, Risa is good.”

Scotty opened his eyes, he saw that he was in the shuttle, in space, close to the Enterprise, far from New Vulcan and from Him; such pain and despair. He covered his face with his palms.

“Oh my God,” Leonard murmured. It was plain as the light of day. It was hopeless.

“Give us a moment, Leonard,” Spock said oh his even, slightly commanding tone.

“Yes, Master,” Leonard said going to the front of the ship to sit with Jim.

Scotty did not uncover his face.

“Look at me,” Spock ordered.

But as he got no reaction, he placed his own hands on Scotty’s wrists and gently, but firmly removed his hands from over his eyes.

“Is it bad? Did I mess up lots?”

“No,” Spock whispered reassuringly.

“Stop touching me,” Scotty demanded.

Spock immediately let go of his hands, observing him carefully.

“Thanks. I guess I am turning into a Vulcan or somethin’, with so much going on.”

“You are not turning into a Vulcan, Mr. Scott. You are simply rejecting anything and anyone that is not _him_.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“You know very well what I am talking about. I am talking about the feelings you harbour for my Father.”

“Your Father is the freakin’ King of Vulcan. He is cool and nice and beautiful and strong. I admire him greatly and I am happy I met him. You are imaginin’ the rest, Commander.”

“ _Commander_?”

“We’re on duty, right? Leonard calls you _Master_?”

“He does. However, you do not have to, Mr. Scott. _Spock_ or _Commander_ is fine. Scotty, you are my friend.”

“Yeah, so?”

Scotty truly hated him right now. Why, why, why was Spock torturing him?

“And just like you did unimaginable things for me, I will and I AM doing the same.”

“Very honestly, I understand absolutely nothing of what you are talking about, Mr. Spock.”

“Scotty…”

“STOP.”

Spock stopped, feeling that his friend was on the point of completely falling apart. And that was not what he wanted to accomplish.

“Admiral Pike is on board the Enterprise, waiting to brief us on our upcoming mission. Are you feeling well enough to participate?”

“I feel fine,” he said between his teeth.

“Very well.”

Scotty needed time to come to terms with what he was feeling, Spock knew that. He also knew what it was like to love Sarek of Vulcan and to be consumed by the feeling to the point of… no, no such thoughts, no such dangerous thoughts.

 

"Gentlemen," Chris Pike began, looking at the team in front of him - all of them, brave people he knew well, brave people he was very proud of - and among them, his Jim. "I am pleased to know that your mission on New Vulcan unfolded without other unpleasant incidents. I came to brief you on the specifications of your next mission. You are all aware that the Ambassador Sarek has been attacked and you know the circumstances. Due to Mr. Scott's quick thinking and acting, we were indeed able to determine that the attacker is AnJoan Grey."

Christopher paused, looking at them for a moment. Spock was tense; Leonard was apprehensive, but his attention was mostly focused on Spock, albeit discretely. Jim was devouring him with his blue eyes; Scotty seemed crushed and depressed. 

"Mr. Scott, I was informed you spent a certain amount of time with Ambassador Spock. Has he told you anything about AnJoan Grey?"

"No," came the apathetic answer.

Scotty was that person who would always talk a lot - to the point you got dizzy - therefore such a monosyllabic answer took everyone aback.

"...okay. Does any of you here know who AnJoan Grey is?"

"AnJoan Grey," Spock began - he had done 'his homework' because he would not be careless about something threatening Sarek - "is the leader of a secluded race called the Remans. Their home-world, Remus, is the fifth planet of the Z6 System, which also contains the well-known Class M planet called Romulus."

"Aaaaare we going to the Z6 system, therefore?" Jim inquired worriedly because passing by Romulus was always a  _very bad idea._

"You are," Christopher replied calmly.

"You... are not coming with us, Sir?" he inquired worriedly, because separating from him was pure hell.

"I am not."

He always kept his answers short and calm, never elaborating more than it was necessary.

"It is our intention to engage in diplomatic discussions with AnJoan Grey. Perhaps convince Remus to join the Federation. I agree that this may very well escalate the already existent tensions between Romulus and the Federation, but let me underline and highlight the necessity of stopping AnJoan Grey from attacking Ambassador Sarek. The Ambassador's security, his protection are our TOP PRIORITIES."

Scotty lifted his eyes and focused his attention on Chris Pike. He was saying things which interested him.

"Why is his protection so important?" Scotty uttered the question which no one dared to ask.

"Because he is the one person who holds everything together in the Federation. The one person who can negotiate with practically anyone. The one person who can subdue 99% of the beings in existence, just by looking at them,” Chris continued, looking for a moment at Mr. Scott. “The person who possesses the type of analytic and synthetic intelligence necessary to instantly see through any plot - and demolish it with three words. _The only person one cannot lie to_. Sarek is not only the King of Vulcan. He is  _our_  King."

"Yer' soundin' as if you want to offer him the Presidency of the Federation," Scotty said sorrowfully, thinking of the beautiful, intangible god.

"We have done just that."

The four men just stared at Chris Pike in disbelief. Sarek was going to become the President of the Federation??

"Did He accept?" Spock asked, pronouncing the  _He_ as if it were a sacred word.

"He did."

Spock could barely compute the ramifications of all this.

"Getting back to the specs of your mission, you will go to Remus, you will attempt to negotiate with AnJoan Grey, you will convince him to stop attacking Sarek, you will offer Remus a partnership with the Federation - you will do whatever it takes to accomplish this. Captain Kirk, you and your highly resourceful crew will find a solution and get this done efficiently."

"Yes, Sir," Jim said on a confident tone, although he had to agree that Chris calling him  _Captain Kirk_  gave him cold shivers. He had to focus. He had to learn from Spock how not to let his emotions get the better of him.

"Draft a plan and present it to me in two hours; Mr. Scott, get the ship geared up and double on dilithium; get a plan B, a plan C and a plan D ready in case negotiations fail. Doctor, you don't need advice from me, but get ready to cure more than death. Spock, you understand what is at stake here. Sarek will need to make use of his heir faster than you probably anticipated; keep yourself safe."

Spock realized the enormity of the problem, just there and then. Yes, Sarek will have to appoint someone else as King of Vulcan. But now, he was a Kafeh. Once a Kafeh, you could never be given the Royal Bond. He had deprived his Father of his Heir; by his request to become a Kafeh, blissful as it was, he had altered or perhaps ruined the line of succession of their House. 

/Cease such thoughts./ 

The order, sharp and clear, reverberated through the bond and Spock obeyed immediately. He conveyed a silent apology through the bond and hoped it would be received.

"Mr. Spock?" Pike insisted, because the young Vulcan seemed almost... troubled for a moment. 

"Sir. Yes, Sir, we shall do our best to keep ourselves safe. You need not worry on that regard."

"Good. I shall be aboard the ship for another two hours, at the end of which I want to see a complete action plan. After which you'll be on your way."

Jim knew there were very little chances to be alone with him even for a few minutes and it was so painful, so painful to be apart from him that he wanted to scream. But at the same time, he also knew that Chris counted on him. And he dreaded disappointing Chris. He will get this job done. And then he will go home to him. And they will have a few days of bliss. God, he could only think of him.

He looked at Spock for a moment, wanting to learn something from his friend. Their eyes met and Jim saw something in those eyes - something he had not seen before - Spock was equally troubled by problems of his own. 

"To work, gentlemen," Jim said starting to dispatch orders and padds with instructions. "Doctor McCoy, please get the medical wing ready. Mr. Scott, complete the flight-check, re-fuel, I will be there with you momentarily. Spock, let us draft our strategy."

Chris Pike smiled almost imperceptibly - and left to his quarters.

He was so proud of Jim - and he loved him beyond words, something which he had not managed to convince Jim of - the young man still saw himself as someone unworthy of love, especially of HIS love. 

 

"What is your plan, Captain?" Spock inquired, neatly organizing padds all around them and preparing to take thorough notes.

"Spock, I do not know what I am dealing with. I do not have an idea, as of now. We will go there, try to avoid Romulus, make contact with AnJoan Grey and begin diplomatic talks. As you know, I am not a very good motivational speaker, so you will have to make the first contact."

"I have seen my Father do this a number of times, but have never done it myself. I will be honoured to try and hopefully I shall not disappoint you."

"Did you have any time to gather and compile information on the race and on this being? How does he look?"

"His species is not among those considered aesthetically pleasing. It is unknown whether he can understand the Standard English Language. In case he does not, we will have a problem."

"Yeah, a big one for that matter. Anyway, this is the first thing we shall try. If this fails, we shall have to draft a plan B."

"Admiral Pike required that we present him three additional safety plans."

"We will attempt communication and comprehension at all levels, Spock. These would be our additional plans. We will begin by talking; if we are not understood, we will offer a gift; we’ll attempt translation; we will do everything to show him we are not hostile. If he attacks, we’ll defend ourselves. And if this fails as well, we shall open discussions with all surrounding worlds around Remus and thus isolate them."

"That means initiating diplomatic talks with Romulus, which largely failed before, Captain. My Father tried three times. Romulus does not want to discuss anything with anyone."

"No, Spock, Romulus does not want to discuss with Sarek. But perhaps they'll talk with the people who helped eliminate Nero."

Jim was right, Spock thought, and once again he gave credit to his brilliant Captain. Yes, they will get through this quickly and successfully. He just wanted to return home. And to take Mr. Scott to Sarek, because he knew very well the intensity with which Scotty _felt_. Not just love; everything in general. Scotty could _feel_ the way an engine buzzed; he could feel Jim’s mood just by entering the room Jim was in; he could feel, feel, feel more than anyone in one place – therefore Spock could not even begin to imagine the intensity of Scotty’s feelings for Sarek. Whatever the nature of those feelings were.

“Captain, I wish to go and check on Scotty. He was not feeling well and we truly need our Engineer to function at full capacity during the current mission. Perhaps I can convince him to visit the Medical Bay before our departure and have Leonard scan him.”

“You don’t have to _convince_ him, Spock. You are his superior officer and oh, his… what does he call you? – his master? Order him and get it done, you are right, his health and well-being is one of our top priorities.”

“Captain, you know very well that we can order Mr. Spock do things until we get tired. He will always do what he wants. Let us not delude ourselves. He will do things as he thinks it’s best and even convince us we ordered them ourselves.”

“Point taken… okay, let’s go find Scotty.”

“If I may suggest so, you could go and present our plan to Admiral Pike. We will gain precious time and be able to escort him to his shuttle with the appropriate protocol.”

Jim’s heart accelerated tremendously.

Alone with him – alone with him!!!

“Go, Jim,” Spock said and he almost smiled.

Jim did not even look back, he fled the meeting room and rushed to the suite which had been assigned to the Admiral, carrying a stack of padds in his arms.

He announced his presence by placing his right palm on the door scanner and the door opened. Christopher was standing right there in front of him, dressed in the beautiful white uniform, ready to depart and the thought, the very thought of his departure made Jim’s heart bleed.

“Captain. Come in,” Chris said on a protocollary tone, stepping aside so that Jim could come in.

Jim did not actually expect any tenderness right now, he knew the strict rules according to which Chris lived his life – never mixing work and personal affairs – still, being in the same room with him just made his thoughts lose all coherence.

Chris had that smile on his lips. That smile, that beautiful smile that had long ago stolen Jim’s heart.

“We, uh… have.”

That was all he managed to say.

“Mhm,” Chris murmured approvingly taking the padds from Jim’s hand and reading Spock’s neatly drafted action plan and safety measures. “Therefore, you will be focusing on standard first contact protocol. Spock is going to do very well – and you are going to support him with everything else. In case he starts functioning again, Mr. Scott will have weapons ready and a back-up plan. Leonard is standing by in Engineering. Looks good and promising. Jim, sit down…”

“Yes, Sir,” Jim managed to reply and finally sat down on a chair, in front of him, his hands clasped together and fidgeting nervously.

Chris’s splendid hand rested on his wrist and it nearly startled Jim – he hadn’t been expecting any kind of intimacy.

He swallowed nervously and all thoughts disappeared from his mind, as if Chris had pressed a magical _delete_ button.

Just like Scotty was barely functioning, so was Jim.

“James,” Chris said. “I want you to go through the current mission to the best of your abilities. I want you to be extraordinary, just like you always are. You will do this, you will return home safely and the Enterprise crew will have a ten-days leave. During which, you will not set foot outside my house. I want you to concentrate. You love me too much to believe it is true and that prevents you from… functioning.”

Jim felt silly, his cheeks were burning. He looked downwards.

“Look at me,” Chris ordered.

Jim immediately lifted his head and looked into his eyes.

“I told you that first day that we shall do things _my way_. That you shall do what I say, _mathematically_. By this, I do not mean while you are on duty. This is why I am not coming with you. The Enterprise is your ship, you are these people’s Captain. They worship you, from Spock to the last yeoman. Apart from this, You Are Mine and you shall not forget it.”

Jim nodded, not able to speak yet. Word by word, Chris was rebuilding his soul.

Chris held his hand tighter. From his pocket, he took out a box and flipped it open. He removed a ring from it and placed it on Jim’s ring finger.

Jim blinked in disbelief, staring at his own hand and at Chris.

“Chr…” he exhaled, but he could not even finish pronouncing his name.

“There is another matching ring in the box and here is my hand,” Chris smiled softly.

With trembling, fervent gestures, Jim took the other ring and placed it delicately on Christopher’s finger. God, were these… RINGS?

Still holding Jim’s hand, Chris used his left hand to press a few buttons on the console near them, logging into his personal account.

“Look at _relationship status_.”

Jim looked.

It said _Married to James Tiberius Kirk._

He kissed Christopher’s hand.


	18. Resignation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was waiting for them.

_I was waiting for them._

Spock was preparing for the First Contact with the being known as AnJoan Grey. Leonard was helping him dress in a splendid, white Vulcan robe, as per Sarek’s instructions. For the majority of beings, white was the colour of purity and of peace.

Silently, Leonard was tying the robe’s knots.

“What are you thinking of, Leonard? I can sense your worry.”

“I am worried, yes… I hate the freakin’ Romulan space and I don’t know what lies ahead. And I fear this AnJoan Grey guy… I think he will bring us much pain.”

_Or would THEY bring me much pain?_

“We shall try to avoid that at all costs. I shall do my best to negotiate a treatise with AnJoan Grey and his people. So that no more conflicts exist.”

“What about the navigation through the Romulan space? There are all kinds of… stuff scattered around.”

“You mean the dense asteroid belt surrounding Romulus and the various detonating devices scattered through the sector to discourage passage?”

“Yeah, those…”

“Jim will decide,” Spock said calmly. “Let us go to the Bridge.”

Leonard followed him apprehensively.

“Jim is different… no?”

“Jim is married, Leonard.”

“Yeah, oh my God. I never thought I would see it. Now if only Scotty came to his senses too…”

“There are no chances for that, Leonard. I will ask you to please not encourage him.”

“He’ll die.”

“Mr. Scott is a very strong person. It requires much more than a broken heart to completely… break him. In fact, I believe he is unbreakable.”

“Nobody is unbreakable, Master. Probably not even AnJoan Grey.”

_And he was right._

As they arrived on the Bridge, they were quite surprised to see Jim at the Helm console, and Scotty right near him at Navigation. The Captain’s chair was empty.

“Captain?” Spock inquired, not knowing what Jim’s plan was.

“Spock, Bones. This is how we are going to function. Just the four of us on the Bridge. I will safely take the ship through the asteroid belt. Scotty will help with the telemetry. You will sit on the Chair and conduct the negotiations.”

“But this will give AnJoan Grey the impression that I am in command of the ship.”

“For the time-being, you are; it is just like when your Father conducts negotiations of some sort with any hostile species. No one even breathes in his presence.”

“Please, Captain, do not cease breathing, that could have unfortunate consequences.”

Jim smiled and shook his head. Vulcans! Some things never changed.

“Spock, if you feel worried for Bones’s safety, he may stay outside the view screen.”

“There is no need for that, Captain. Leonard should be in his regular place on the Bridge. Should something happen, I shall look after my mate.”

Jim looked at Scotty who was overly quiet, as he had been ever since they had returned from New Vulcan.

“You okay, Scotty?”

“Aye. ‘m Fine. Let’s get on with stuff.”

They all focused on their respective assignments. Jim was an exceptional pilot; as he had promised he guided the ship swiftly and without any incidents through the Romulan asteroid belt. They remained undetected and within twenty standard minutes they could see the desolate shape of the planet Remus, where AnJoan Grey resided.

Remus was a tidally-locked planet, which meant one of his sides always faced the system’s sun, whereas the other one remained always dark: a hot hell and a dark, frozen inferno. Two sides of the same coin: a very bad place to be.

The planet’s surface seemed to be uninhabited – that was because Remans, in order to survive the extreme environment, had created living conditions underground; a deep and complicated network of tunnels sheltered the fearsome creatures; their ugliness was legendary and most certainly they were those which had inspired the demonic iconography on many worlds.

“How do we know where AnJoan Grey is?” Leonard asked Spock, worriedly.

“We do not know. Jim has assumed a standard orbit and we are flying in plain sight, waiting for him to see us.”

 “When all this is over, Master, I want a crash course on Bridge operations.”

“Very well, Leonard. Now be silent.”

Leonard was not entirely submissive; his strong personality and desire to contradict Spock had not been suffocated by their bonding. But right now, he felt Spock needed to focus and… somehow… look within, to think of only one thing.

“We’re bein’ hailed,” Scotty said sorrowfully. He had absolutely no interest in the current mission and in anything in general. He felt as if he had stopped existing altogether.

“That did not take long,” Jim commented. “Okay, Mr. Spock. Your calling.”

Spock took a deep breath and stood up.

Seconds after, the terrifying, almost unbearable sight of AnJoan Grey appeared on screen.

Scotty looked up to see the one who had attacked His God.

His skin was translucent. He had sharp teeth, long talons like those of a tiger.

He was not ugly, Scotty thought – he was different.

He was uglyuglyugly – Jim thought and he felt ashamed, because, in a way, in a very ethereal way, all life was beautiful.

He was extremely dangerous, Spock thought.

/Master./

/I am here, Spock. Begin./

“Greetings, Your Majesty AnJoan Grey,” Spock began in Standard English, crossing his arms on his chest in the shape of an “X” – the ideogram which meant _Remus_ – and bowing respectfully. “We come in peace.”

The being looked at him with vivid, voracious curiosity.

“ _Beannachtaí. Ní thuigim rud ar bith. Labhair Vulcan_!”

Spock stared back. He vaguely recognized the sonority of the language in which he was speaking, but could not understand it.

/He is speaking in archaic Vulcan, a language which you refused to learn./

/If that is so, our universal translator will also not be able to translate it. Could you assist me, Master?/

/He asks you to speak in Vulcan. He recognizes your physiology and he uses your own language, the version from two centuries ago. This is what happens when children refuse to obey their parents and reject their heritage, their history, the roots of their own culture. I am feeding the language patterns to your mind./

As soon as Sarek initiated the linguistic transfer, Spock repeated the greeting in archaic Vulcan and sent a silent apology through the bond with Sarek. He will have to make amends for all advice which he had rejected. Make amends, make amends, make amends.

Spock was so smart, Leonard thought. The way he had picked that complicated language! Spock was a damn computer, he had always known that, he thought with pride.

“What do you require and why are you disturbing me?”

“We have come to inquire, Gracious Sir, if we may establish mutual relations of peace and understanding between our peoples. There are dangers which threaten our galaxy; we would be stronger together.”

“You would also make sure that I no longer bother the Lord Sarek.”

Were they really so transparent? Spock thought.

“The safety and security of the Lord Sarek of Vulcan is of utmost importance, Gracious Sir,” Spock decided to go on being completely honest with AnJoan Grey.

“Was he hurt during the recent attack?” AnJoan inquired, staring directly into his eyes.

“He was hurt, but his life was not in danger. He is in good health now.”

“Present me your crew,” AnJoan next ordered and it was very clear that it was not a polite request, but a sharp order.

“Very well, Your Majesty. This is the Ship’s Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

AnJoan Grey looked at Leonard as if he was scanning him, seeing through him – was it that, or was it as if he was foreseeing the future?

_The one who would be my friend._

“Furthermore, this is James Kirk, currently our Pilot,” Spock continued, organically unable to lie but also not quite willing to unveil Jim’s rank.

“I have never seen such eyes,” AnJoan looked at him with curiosity. “Your rank?” he then barked at Jim.

“I am the ship’s Captain,” Jim assumed responsibility for the statement. Him, too, felt that there should not be any lies here; that something very important was being weaved by an invisible hand.

_The one who would be our saviour._

“The ship’s Captain sits at the helm. As any decent Captain would, through hostile territory. Good for you, Captain. And your First Officer is…?”

“My First Officer is the one negotiating with you.”

AnJoan Grey shifted his gaze, looking at Spock again. Studying him. Studying every lock of hair, every pore of visible skin.

_The one who would make me fall._

“What is your name, First Officer?”

“My name is Spock, son of Sarek, King of Vulcan.”

There was silence, after those words were spoken.

AnJoan Grey looked even more carefully at him, with his piercing eyes, devouring him, wanting to just… jump through the view-screen and touch him. His Son. His.

“He is brave to send his child to negotiate with me; and you are brave to have come. You know I could end all your lives in… seconds.”

“You could, Sir, yes,” Spock responded. “However, I believe you shall not. All those years you worked to create the impression that you are a dangerous predator, seeking to destroy my Father. I do not believe you are such a person. I believe you are the type of ruler who wants what is best for himself and for his people. Let me then assure you that my Father’s friendship is a valuable asset. And much more worth than the lingering, useless anger between you. Let it go. Be our friend. Be… _his_ friend.”

AnJoan Grey closed his eyes for a second; the things the young Vulcan was saying were drops of water falling on a desert wasteland – his soul. Hope. _His friend._

He looked at Scotty.

_The one –_

_– who_

“Who are you?”

“I am Scotty. Chief Engineer.”

Jim wanted to shake his head and scream internally. Really… _Scotty_? That was how you introduced yourself to an Emperor, or King, or whatever AnJoan Grey was?

_The one who._

“Are you Sarek’s mate?”

Jim thought his own blood stopped flowing; Spock felt pure shock and fear. He felt Sarek, through the bond, completely paralysed, not even able to transmit any information whatsoever. Leonard was watching AnJoan Grey with eyes wide open.

Scotty lifted his head from the console.

“Are you out of your mind? I am not his mate.”

Jim barely refrained from not covering his face with his hands. This was a disaster.

It took great effort for AnJoan Grey to stop looking at the young, fragile human.

“I shall present to you a bilingual treatise stating the general terms of my full cooperation and allegiance.” AnJoan Grey spoke in fluent English. “I hereby agree that Remus becomes a member of the Federation and I am ready to discuss the main parameters for joining. Remus will be at the Federation’s disposition for Dilithium supplies under the condition that my people are not mistreated or exploited. The Romulans are not my allies, nor yours, and I would appreciate it if I never met the Romulan praetor face to face. That may end up badly.”

Spock was relieved and astonished. After the strange dialogue, especially the brief one between AnJoan Grey and Scotty, he had been expecting… something bad, something he could not pinpoint precisely. Not such an abrupt acknowledgement and acceptation of their requests. Perhaps the Reman ruler had some empathic abilities and he could perceive, even from a distance, the extent of Scotty’s emotions for Sarek. He must have assumed that there was some sort of love relationship. Finding out that there wasn’t the case, he must have thought that he could still have a chance to Sarek’s… attentions – Spock could only explain it this way. There had to be a logic behind AnJoan’s way of reacting.

“I am honoured and gratified to hear that you accept to be a member of the United Federation of Planets. Our joint forces will help maintain peace in our quadrant and also better protect our peoples.”

“I have only one condition.”

Jim cursed internally. He knew it! There had to be something!!! This was all too good to be true.

“What is your condition, Gracious Sir?”

“That your Chief Engineer Scotty joins me for one hour. There are no shields, you may monitor his condition at all times and beam him back at your convenience.”

Spock felt Sarek become tense through the bond, and Leonard preparing to protest. He placed one reassuring hand on his bondmate’s arm. There was no place for other mistakes here.

“What is the purpose of this visit?” Jim inquired, rather sharply and abruptly, but he did not care, he would take good care of the lives of his men.

“It is a personal matter.”

That sort-of ended all possibilities of negotiating another condition, Spock thought.

“Mr. Scott, are you willing to go visit Emperor Grey for one standard hour?”

“Sure,” Scotty replied apathetically. He did not care about what was happening anyway. The reptile-looking creature wanted to have him for lunch? No issues. He stood up and headed to the Transporter Room.

Jim would have wished for his stubborn friend to be a little more cautious and not to decide so quickly, but such was Scotty.

“I am sending Transport coordinates,” AnJoan Grey replied, and with those words he went to welcome his guest.

The view-screen went black.

Jim let out a sigh.

“Let us assess our situation,” he said coming closer to Spock and Leonard.

“You two are out of your corn-fed minds!” Leonard blurted out. “How are you letting him go over there? It’s the creature who tried to kill Sarek! And if he wanted Scotty, it is because, I am sure, he knows that it was him who stopped the attack and wants to take revenge!!”

“We were not in the position of refusing, Bones,” Jim tried to pacify him. “The best we can do is to take very good care of Scotty and make sure we monitor his life-signs at all times. The moment his pulse accelerates, we beam him straight back.”

“Okay, good. Patch me through to Medical Bay on Spock’s science console. I will monitor him closely.”

Spock went to establish the necessary connection. Through the bond, he felt Sarek waiting and observing, with tense apprehension, but not interfering. He wished he could hear a single word of encouragement from him, but he knew it was not the case. Sarek was letting him deal with his first ‘First Contact’ mission fully on his own.

For the next hour, they all remained worried and attentive to Scotty’s life-signs, looking for indicators of stress, or of life-threatening dangers, but there was nothing. Scotty reported back three times that everything was fine. They had no idea what was going on down there, nor what the “private discussion” was about. What could it possibly be about?

*

Scotty returned at the designated time. Spock, Jim and Leonard were waiting for him impatiently in the Transporter Room. As soon as the Transporter sequence was over, Leonard immediately started scanning him.

“What?” Scotty asked apathetically, not understating why they were so worried.

“How was it? Has he hurt you? What was it all about?”

Scotty came down from the platform and handed Jim a large paper and a few padds with official documents.

“Yer gonna have to deal with all this paperwork. It’s the treatise he promised. There is nothing hidden in it, no dangers for Terra, Vulcan or the rest of the Federation worlds. He is not very fond of Romulans but I guess no one is. He only reinforced his statement that we avoid him meeting the Romulan praetor.”

“So… you basically discussed the treatise? Is that all?”

“We discussed the treatise, yeah,” Scotty said fidgeting nervously.

“What about the ‘private matter’ he wanted to discuss with you?” Spock asked, looking at him with deep worry. Something was very wrong here.

“Oh. That is… ‘private’. Also, Jim, here is a padd with my resignation from Starfleet.”

“I Am Sorry??” Jim asked, shocked to the core by such a statement. Scotty was… quitting?

“I am hereby resigning from Starfleet.”

“Why?? Scotty, what the hell happened down there?”

“Nothing happened. Lord AnJoan Grey proposed to me and I accepted to be his mate. I will remain on Remus.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So little did they know.

Several simultaneous things happened to Spock upon hearing such a thing. First, there was pure, raw pain in his main, and a voice screaming / **No!** / and then that voice faded out. Sarek – Sarek had lost consciousness!!! Immediate action was required – but they were far, there was nothing Spock could do from here, except –

Except understanding why.

Without any warning or preparation, and because – legally – Scotty was still his Kafeh – their respective relationship was registered as such in Starfleet’s records – his hand shot up, landing straight on Scotty’s face.

_Remain with me on Remus, or I shall end Sarek’s life._

The contact with Scotty’s mind lasted only for a few seconds – the young man was not about to let anyone tell him what to do anymore, nor to stop him in any way. He twisted Spock’s hand and removed it from his face, pushing Spock away immediately, no matter how painful it was – mentally and emotionally altogether – to do such a thing.

“IF YOU EVER do such a thing again, I shall press charges for assault and rape!”

Spock had frozen. Never, ever had he believed that it would be possible to even hear such words from Scotty’s mouth.

“Scotty…“ he began.

“No, shut up! Shut the hell up. I have had enough of you. Captain, I require that you sign my resignation immediately. I shall not remain on board this ship where I am being abused for another minute!”

“Scotty, for God’s sake! What is going on with you??!” Jim tried to reason with him as well, but in vain.

“Sign the damn resignation. I have authorised Lord Grey to open fire if I am not back in ten standard minutes, because this means you are holding me here against my will. And your damn shields are not even up.”

“Scotty, you are sabotaging your own people,” Leonard said too, stepping between Spock – who was in obvious distress and was now leaning against a wall – and Scotty. “Forgive me but this is blackmail.”

“As per Starfleet Regulation 0093773, it is completely legal to resign for personal reasons.”

“But you are not only resigning, Scotty,” Jim blurted out. “You are abandoning us on hostile territory.”

“You have a treatise, no? You have completed your mission here.”

Spock had covered his temples with his hands and sank down near the wall, feeling sicker than he had ever been.

Jim took the padd out of Scotty’s hand and punched his personal code on it furiously! He had never felt so betrayed – never in his whole life.

“Get the hell out of my ship,” he said angrily. His friend, whom he thought he knew so well – to even do such a thing!! You never really know someone, he thought.

Scotty looked at his three friends – _former_ friends, rather, he was sure of that – with sorrow. There it was – his life, there they were – his family, because that was what they were. He was throwing them away.

But it was all for a reason.

A reason only he knew – he was absolutely certain that Spock hadn’t had the time to read something in his mind, the melding time had been too short.

He could not let AnJoan Grey hurt Sarek – not while he still breathed.

He took the padd that Jim had signed with him and went to the transporter console, where he introduced the necessary coordinates to return to the planet by himself.

“Permission to leave the ship, Captain,” he said, not looking at Jim anymore, because he did not want them to see how his eyes had filled with tears.

He had to carefully control any weakness. For Sarek.

Jim turned his back to the transporter platform.

He could not watch this.

“Granted,” he said between his teeth.

The familiar sound of the transporter sequence resounded through the room. Only when it ceased, Spock, Leonard and Jim had the strength to actually look towards the platform. Gone was their friend.

Spock had turned completely white.

Leonard knelt near him, proceeding to scan him immediately – it was not exactly surprising that Spock’s brainwaves were altered as Leonard had never seen them. He could only presume that the brief contact with Scotty’s mind had been harmful – and it was not far from truth.

“Spock,” Jim said, coming near his friend, worriedly. He was hoping he was not going to lose another friend today – or two for that matter, because it was obvious, Leonard and Spock could not live one without the other. “Spock, were you able to see anything in Scotty’s mind? What are we going to do?”

“Jim,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Connect an emergency call to Anwyll, my Father’s servant. Call through the Priority One channel, otherwise he will not answer.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jim said immediately, bringing a console to Spock’s level and starting to input the necessary commands on it, to connect the call. “But wouldn’t it be better to call your Father?”

“My Father is unconscious,” Spock said gravely. “It has never happened before. He must not remain so.”

“Huh? Why, what happened? Is he under attack???” Jim inquired worriedly, exchanging perplexed looks with Leonard.

“Negative. He is feeling ill.”

The call finally connected – and they could see a very agitated and panicky Anwyll.

“Listen to me carefully, Anwyll,” Spock began without any other introduction. “Meld with him now.”

“Mr. Spock, how could I do such a thing? I am a mere Kafeh. How dare I meld with my Master?”

“You will do what I am telling you to do, Anwyll, unless you want him to die.”

Anwyll’s eyes widened.

“Yes, Mr. Spock,” he immediately replied. He carried his console to the bed on which he had placed Sarek and aligned his trembling fingers on his Master’s pale figure. To even think that a Kafeh could do such a thing! Sacrilege! “I… do not know what to do, Mr. Spock. It has been very long since I have initiated a meld on my own.”

“Connect to his mind strongly. Go deep towards his Katra. Convey the following message: Scotty is in grave danger. You need to come.”

“Mr. Scott is in danger?” Anwyll asked puzzled. “What does that have to do…”

“Convey the message, Anwyll, with these exact words.”

Anwyll sighed. He really did not understand right now how this piece of information could help awake his master and king. Yes, he had noticed the young human’s weakness for his master; but it was not reciprocal. Sarek did not have weaknesses.

However, to his great joy, Sarek opened his eyes shortly after. He could not move yet – the darkness which had momentarily fallen over his consciousness had obscured the numerous bonds he was keeping, with the other people on Vulcan and beyond the boundaries of the planet. All those connected to him were now in the same state of agitation as Spock – they were trying to reach out to someone, but at the other end there was… nothing, just a thick veil of emptiness.

Sarek needed to calm his people first. Yes, there had been a moment of weakness. They had nearly lost their king. Emotions! Once more, they were bringing nothing but trouble. There were good reasons for which Vulcans were taught how to repress them since a very early age, because such things could happen…

He sent peace and calm through all the bonds. There was no danger anymore. They were not going to lose their king.

“Thank you, Anwyll. You did well,” he reassured his servant, taking his hand softly and removing it from his face. “Help me sit up, are you in communication with my son?”

“Yes, Master. Here, the console is just here.”

Sarek looked towards Spock through the view screen. Even so, Spock felt intimidated.

/You have had brief contact with his mind, yes?/

/Very brief, Master./

/Open your mind to me completely, so that I can see./

/Yes, Master./

Leonard and Jim looked at one another, confused. Sarek and Spock were just staring at one another through the console and saying nothing. It was very weird.

Spock picked their confusion. Discretion had to be kept about the existing telepathic communication between Sarek and himself, as the Master had requested. While Sarek was carefully examining his recent memories, he began narrating the evens chronologically, on a calm voice. He placed one hand on Leonard’s arm, reassuringly.

“Captain,” Sarek said. “My son will share with you the insight he had into Mr. Scott’s mind. The information is very relevant. Please, remain on orbit around Remus; Monitor Scotty’s life-signs. I am going to join you. We will retrieve him, and I shall deal with AnJoan Grey’s stubbornness once and for all. Do not provoke AnJoan Grey in any way. He is evil and highly dangerous.”

_So little did they know me._

“Yes, Ambassador, we shall do so. We will be waiting for you.”

As Sarek ended the communication – he had many things to prepare – Jim turned towards Spock.

“What is going on, Spock? I was under the impression that the meld with Scotty was too quickly interrupted and you could not see anything.”

“Unfortunately, Jim I saw the essential. AnJoan Grey threatened and blackmailed Scotty, asking him to remain on Remus as his mate. If not, he would attack and kill my Father.”

Pure shock and terror could be read on Jim and Leonard’s faces.

“I… I just let him go… I should have put him in a damn cell in the brig!!!” Jim exclaimed, feeling like pulling his own hair.

“AnJoan Grey would have destroyed us,” Spock said. “There had been no deceit in what Scotty told us. He merely did not convey all the information to us.”

“We must keep the ship safe,” Jim murmured, rubbing his face and fidgeting angrily.

“For the moment, you have achieved that. It is very good. AnJoan’s personal problem is my Father. This is why Father wants to come personally. We will not interfere. This is between them. Our job is to monitor and retrieve Scotty safely out of there. I can only hope that for the time-being, AnJoan Grey is not harming him…”

_So little did they know._

“What are we doing, now?” Leonard asked. He could not offer much insight, since his role was to take care of their lives. Jim and Spock were those who would always come up with a solution.

“We are going back to the Bridge,” Jim said standing up and helping Spock get up too. “Look after him, Bones, he looks unwell. Spock, do you wanna go and lie down for a moment?”

“No, Captain. The fact that my Father lost consciousness came as a terrible shock. For a Vulcan, if their king is unwell, that constitutes a problem and a health-risk.”

“Why?”

“Because our Katras, our life-essences are connected… “

“I can only imagine what he must have been through when Vulcan was lost.”

“It has been terrible and devastating for him. This is why he cannot afford to lose another life.”

“But Scotty is not Vulcan. Why is he so affected?”

“He is his friend. Just like you are mine.”

Jim looked at him for a moment, remembering their darkest hour. Yes. Friends. A sacred word.

 

It had been long since Sarek left New Vulcan. In fact, he had not gone anywhere since the Terrible Day – he could not endure being apart from his people. But this was important. He would not leave Montgomery Scott fall into hostile hands, not after he had saved his life and the entire colony from AnJoan Grey’s attack.

He dressed in his most splendid robe: the white royal garment embellished with light-green round-calligraphy which was specific for Vulcan.

He got aboard his fastest ship, the Condor – fast and elegant. Anwyll was coming along.

“Sit down on the co-pilot chair and fasten your seat-belt,” Sarek ordered his faithful servant. “I will be flying the ship.”

“Yes, Master, but wouldn’t you rather I piloted, so that you could prepare?”

“No. I will do everything by myself, from beginning to end. This is how such things should be done.”

“Why, Master?” Anwyll asked, hoping Sarek will not get angry at the inappropriate question.

Sarek gave him a piercing look and then he engaged the maximum warp-speed.

“Because if not, I shall regret it for the rest of my days.”

Anwyll was expecting some sort of logical explanation – not this. He remained silent.

Thirty-four minutes after, they had reached Remus. The Enterprise was circling the planet, engaged on a high orbit; they had taken no action, except that of monitoring Scotty’s vitals, which were strong and normal as usual – and advising Chris Pike about what had happened. Pike was thrilled about the treatise and worried sick about the rest of the events. They had managed to obtain AnJoan Grey’s allegiance, but lost a man to his hands, a man who had seemingly remained behind out of his own will – and in fact, the truth was another. And now, Sarek was coming to the rescue, and this could end very badly – Sarek had refused back-up, he seemed vengeful and upset – reactions which were abnormal and dangerous for a Vulcan, and even more so for the Vulcan King. He could get hurt or even killed and Chris could not even begin to compute the ramifications of such a disaster. He could only hope it won’t be necessary.

Sarek docked with the Enterprise.

Jim knew better than to make any mistakes here so very promptly he prepared to welcome the Ambassador and King of Vulcan as his rank required; the honour guard was present – and he had dressed in the standard protocol uniform, asking Spock and Leonard to do the same – and they had to obey.

Even those who didn’t know Sarek well – could realize that he was in a lousy mood. Generally, he showed a lack of interest for the protocol when boarding a ship. He felt people should not be disturbed with dressing up for the welcoming of a dignitary – and he found the honour guard useless. But right now, he walked among the officers which had been aligned on two rows, looking splendid and vengeful, one whom you would fear, adore and die for.

“Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Your Majesty King Sarek,” Jim spoke, somehow sensing that right now Sarek had zero tolerance for any kind of mistakes.

“Captain Kirk,” he greeted him with a small bow of his head. “We come to serve,” he added according to the Vulcan etiquette, even though the last thing crossing his mind right now was to actually serve someone.

Spock stepped forward and knelt in front of him. The gesture was familiar to Jim, to Leonard; the other officers, if surprised, were disciplined enough to hold their thoughts for themselves. Spock was Vulcan; Sarek was his King.

“Welcome, my noble King and beloved Father,” Spock said, kissing the hand which was offered to him. “How may I serve you?”

“Accompany me to the Transporter Room. Captain, I will require one disruptor weapon. Have your doctor stand by in Transporter Room and be ready to immediately treat Mr. Scott, if need be.”

A chorus of _Yes, Your Majesty_ was heard; the three men accompanied him without speaking. This was a day not to be forgotten – something terrible, important and life-changing was about to take place.

Jim retrieved a disruptor rifle from a console and set it to **Stun** , handing it to Sarek, knowing that Vulcans didn’t kill.

Sarek modified the setting to **Kill**. Nobody even blinked.

“Location of Mr. Scott?” he inquired

“We have the exact coordinates. The room he is in – is guarded from outside. AnJoan Grey is with him. They seem to be in some sort of… private chambers of the Reman,” Jim said. “Ambassador, you should wear a shielding belt. It will give you some protection.”

Sarek did not listen to any of that. He stepped on the Transporter Padd.

“Spock. Are Mr. Scot and AnJoan Grey currently in physical contact?”

“No, Father. They are approximatively 6 metres away from each other.”

“Transport me between them, make sure Mr. Scott is behind me and AnJoan Grey in front of me,” he said arming his weapon. “Wait for my orders. Energize.”

He knew very well that Spock would not dare disobey the given orders in the least.

The transporter sequence ended and Sarek found himself face to face with his lifetime enemy, AnJoan Grey.

The Reman was near a wall, far from Scotty. He could sense surprise and astonishment from both sides.

He remained facing AnJoan Grey, still like a statue, the disruptor in his hand, aiming towards the floor.

“What are you doing here…” AnJoan Grey asked, coming to his senses only partly, after the moment of shock. He was still staring at him, his senses overwhelmed with his proximity, his surreal, immense beauty.

“You have something which is mine,” Sarek spoke.

“Yours?” AnJoan asked. “He is not yours. There was no claim laid upon this being.”

“My name is written all over his soul. How DARED YOU?” Sarek thundered, walking towards the Reman, who did not move, as if Sarek’s look had turned him into stone.

“He is mine now,” AnJoan said with a mocking grin. “He came to me out of his own will. The Human does not look spell-struck by Sarek of Vulcan.”

Sarek closed the distance between them fast, like an angry Vulcan would do. He threw the weapon down, took a good hold of AnJoan’s neck, pushing him hard against the wall. His next hand landed right on the meld points on his face; there was no time to probe; he would subdue the dark, ill-fated creature once and for all.

A thick, horrible bond burst into existence in AnJoan’s mind, spreading its tentacles everywhere, binding him irrevocably to Sarek’s will.

“My slave. This is what you shall be from today on. And If You Ever Dare touch what is mine, I shall tear you apart from inside. You shall endure pain which is unthinkable. You shall curse the day you were born. KNEEL!”

The words were spoken on a tone which was strong and hypnotic – words which were meant to subdue and destroy. He removed his hands from his neck and face, and AnJoan fell at his feet, like a doll in the hands of his owner.

“Acknowledge the Bond,” Sarek commanded, cupping his cold face between his hands and forcing him to look into his eyes.

“I embrace whatever you wish to give me, my lord Sarek,” AnJoan Grey spoke. “I shall do so.”

“Enterprise! Beam Mr. Scott up this instant.”

_What he didn’t know was that I was already enduring pain which was unthinkable. Because that was what it meant to love Sarek of Vulcan. That was what it meant._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurts, yes?


	20. The Right Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarek was his life, his death.

Sarek of Vulcan returned to the Enterprise one hour later. No one had any idea about what had happened down there. Jim knew that AnJoan Grey was still alive, but under what conditions and at what cost?

Spock was waiting for Sarek in the Transporter Room, operating the controls himself. He had left Leonard deal with the extremely distraught Scotty.

Also, he had never seen Sarek so upset – not that his Vulcan self-control had slipped, letting his anger and frustration show – it was beyond that. There was no Vulcan self-control in place anymore. Sarek’s eyes were blazing.

Spock rushed to him, eager to be of assistance – Sarek stopped him mid-way.

“To the Bridge,” he ordered sharply, and went forward, signalling Spock to follow him and to be quiet.

Spock silently obeyed. He knew better than to say even one word, given the Master’s state of mind.

“Open a Priority One Conference connecting us, Starfleet and AnJoan Grey,” Sarek ordered Jim as soon as he arrived on the Bridge. He wouldn’t normally do such a thing and command on Jim’s ship, but right now he had only one thing in mind and his rank did allow for such a behaviour, even if it was ungracious.

“Ready, Ambassador,” Jim said a bit coldly, thus manifesting his disproval regarding the _noble king_ ’s behaviour He was beautiful, dazzling, impressive and it blew your mind away; but sometimes he could really piss someone off. Anyway! Jim took a deep breath of relief when Chris Pike’s face appeared on the upper right corner of the view screen. AnJoan Grey occupied the lower left corner.

“Make sure the discussion is recorded,” Sarek further said on the same tone. “AnJoan Grey, Emperor of Remus. In the presence of Federation’s Ambassadors, Spock of Vulcan and James Kirk, Captain of Enterprise, you pledged your loyalty and offered a treatise, along with your military and economic allegiance. Yes?”

“Yes,” AnJoan Grey spoke, on a dark, sorrowful tone. He seemed… crushed, incapable of talking much.

“After that, you ABDUCTED one of our men. WHY? Explain.”

“To lure you here.”

“For which reasons?”

“I shall not give you my reasons, Beautiful King. You have come; you have defeated me. The Federation has the treatise; you have… what you took. There is nothing else to discuss.”

“In front of all who are present, speak, AnJoan Grey and say whom you belong to.”

“To you I belong, Sarek of Vulcan; I shall live and die for you.”

“End communication,” Sarek ordered.

Everyone was literally holding their breaths on the Bridge. Jim had closed the channel with AnJoan Grey, but had kept the one with Chris. He really wanted to hear one word from him, otherwise it felt like… all of them were going to explode because of too much tension.

“The outcome is quite different than we expected,” Chris finally spoke, trying to sound calm and comforting, looking at Jim for a moment. He was hoping that Sarek was starting to be calmer. “Enterprise, set a course to Earth. On your way, drop King Sarek home. Look after Mr. Scott,” he added, looking straight into Sarek’s eyes. He had come all the way from Remus to save him from hostile hands, even though – after having carefully monitored that dialogue, Chris was starting to have doubts about AnJoan’s actual hostile intentions; they would see about that. Right now, if Scotty was important to Sarek, the King better act upon those intentions. Honourably. He hoped.

The word ‘Scotty’ had a deep, profound impact upon Sarek.

Yes.

The time had come to look after him.

“Captain Kirk, what Mr. Scott’s state of health?”

“He is unharmed, Ambassador. Just distraught,” Jim replied coldly.

“What is his current location? Medical Bay, I presume?”

“He is Engineering, even though he was not authorised to be there anymore since he had resigned. But given the fact that he had resigned under pressure and blackmail, I have reinstated him.”

“Why is he not in Medical Bay?” Sarek insisted.

Jim felt he was going to get really angry. He turned towards Chris, looking into his eyes apologetically for a moment. There was no need for the rest of the conversation to be recorded in the annals of Starfleet, and Jim had the distinct feeling he will very soon snap at the infuriating King of Vulcan who thought he knew everything. He ended the communication with Starfleet and headed towards Sarek; everyone may be crushed by his strength, radiating power and sheer, pure beauty – but Jim was not.

“LISTEN. Listen carefully, _Ambassador_ ,” he said spitting the word as if he had just called him a _bloody idiot_. He is in ENGINEERING because he WANTS to be there. Because he is too shocked and distraught and too damn stressed to be able to do anything else. He needs to work, to keep his mind off the fact that he had been forced to give Starfleet up just to save your life! And my God, in Medical Bay? Do even think that ANYONE in this Galaxy can actually convince Scotty do something HE DOES NOT WANT? No, Ambassador.”

Sarek listened to him carefully, without interrupting him and almost without breathing. Jim was a very brave man.

“Leonard is with him, be at peace,” Jim finally concluded, his cheeks burning.

“Thank you, Captain. I shall go deal with Mr. Scott’s stubbornness. Son, I will need a witness,” he said turning towards Spock. “Do you allow for your mate Leonard to be the one? Since he already is in Engineering.”

“Yes, Father,” Spock said, not hiding his joy. If Sarek needed a witness for what was about to happen, it meant that his intentions were honourable.

“Anwyll? Give me the Klessar.”

His faithful servant, who had been following him everywhere – except on Remus – silently gave him a small box, which Sarek placed in a pocket of his robe.

Sarek wrapped himself better in his robe and left the Bridge.

 

He had never been so upset and confused. Nothing had a meaning any longer. When things went downhill with Spock, at least he knew it had ben because of him; he had screwed everything up by trying to steal Spock and Leonard’s bond. But now… now… what the hell was going on?

Life without Sarek of Vulcan was absolutely meaningless. No – Sarek of Vulcan WAS his ENTIRE LIFE. However that had happened – he could not understand.

Scotty had never felt thus. What he felt for Sarek was beyond love, beyond any capacity to fight or to conceal. When AnJoan Grey had said that he would end Sarek’s life unless Scotty remained with him, he hadn’t had a single moment of hesitation. He would do anything – betray his people, defect from Starfleet if needed, resign, give everything up – die if necessary – if it meant that he could render a service to the Beautiful King, to protect him.

And then, the unthinkable happened.

Sarek came for him.

Sarek c.a.m.e for him – because Scotty was HIS. That was what Sarek had told AnJoan Grey.

Scotty had no idea how Sarek had found out about AnJoan’s hostile intentions, about the threat – about… about the fact that Sarek’s name was written all over his soul.

Spock – it was Spock! Of course! That short meld! He had found out everything! Treacherous Vulcan!! Why did he have to interfere, why wasn’t he LEAVING HIM ALONE?

Angrily, he picked the last remaining Dilithium crystal which had to be placed in the matrix and proceeded to input a new set of commands on a console.

Leonard had to leave him alone now. He would not go to Medical Bay. He was fine. He just needed to work, to think of something else. Of course, Leonard was stubborn – well, let him be stubborn and stay in Engineering for as long as he wanted. What was he going to do, drag him to Medical Bay by force, or what?

 

And then, the air in the room changed.

It became brighter somehow, lighter, invaded by pure light.

He held the crystal tighter in his hand.

He could feel his presence; oh God.

He remained still, taking deep breaths. Why was Leonard not talking, or something?

Then he realized that he could not even hear sounds anymore.

He turned, slowly.

He was there.

He was there!!! The Beautiful King, his God, the love of his life, the Light Itself – Sarek of Vulcan was standing right there, in Engineering.

Their eyes met.

There were no words spoken now – not that Scotty would have known what to say. What do you even say when something like this happens?

The Dilithium crystal he was holding fell from his hand on the floor, breaking into million pieces with a clear, crystalline sound.

Sarek advanced towards him, slowly; there was no rush now.

Scotty did not flinch; he was almost not breathing. Air was of no importance now; Sarek was his life, his death.

He fell at his feet – just like AnJoan Grey had fallen too.

_Just like myself, yes._

Sarek’s hands cupped his face with a gesture which was demanding and careful at the same time. To see his eyes.

“Speak, Mr. Scott. Say it.”

Only three words were possible now, and Scotty knew it. He would say them, even though Sarek knew them already.

“I love you.”

Words simple and clear, spoken by millions of beings throughout time and space; words which changed lives, those words were the single most difficult Scotty had ever had to say in his entire life. Because thus, he admitted his defeat. No more witty replies; no more ironic inquiries; no more lying to himself. He loved him.

He loved Sarek of Vulcan, blessed be his name.

A meld followed; they never believed words, that was how Vulcans were, Scotty knew.

“You were willing to endure torture and death, to save my life.”

“I was,” Scotty replied.

“Therefore, Mr. Scott, your life belongs to me. Give it to me. With the right words.”

“What will you do with it?”

Sarek held his head tighter.

“It matters?”

“No,” Scotty replied honestly. Because it really did not. After a short pause, he took a deep breath. “Take it.”

These were The Right Words.

Sarek said nothing for a while, he just probed, probed, probed.

“Witness, come closer,” he then addressed someone who was standing behind him, and Scotty saw Leonard take a few steps to come near them.

Scotty wondered what was going to happen. Perhaps Sarek was going to kill him. He had sentenced him to death and now he was going to kill him.

“In the presence of witness Leonard McCoy, son of David and bondmate to my son Spock, I, Sarek of Vulcan, lay a claim upon your body, your mind, your spirit, your immortal Katra. From this day on, they will all belong to me.”

A certain peace and warmth descended in Scotty’s consciousness. He had not understood what type of claim had been placed by Sarek – not that it mattered. He would be anything Sarek wanted. He thought to ask, just to clarify.

“What are you going to do with me?”

“All that I want from this day on, Mr. Scott. And here are your first three instructions: You will no longer allow anyone, except Doctor McCoy and my son – therefore my immediate family – to touch you; you will follow Doctor McCoy’ health instructions to the letter, without a single word of protest; you will ask for my permission for all major and minor activities which are a part of your life. Are your instructions clear?”

“Yes,” he replied. Sarek wanted complete control – very well.

“Answer properly, Mr. Scott. This is your life which I am holding in my hands.”

Answer properly? Scotty’s consciousness wondered.

“Yes, Master.”

“Good.”

Sarek ended the meld and took his right hand, rolling the sleeve of his red shirt up. He placed a delicate bracelet at his wrist and kept his hand into his.

“I henceforth give you the Klessar; wear it, knowing that it is the sign which states that you are mine.”

It was a silvery jewel, with intricate embroiders – snakes, rivers, flowers, round forms reminding of the splendid Vulcan calligraphy; three green stones matched the symbols sewed on Sarek’s robe.

Scotty said nothing; he felt the jewel bore a significance he was yet to understand; to say _thank you_ to something he did not understand, it would have felt wrong. Therefore, he remained silent.

“You shall now accompany Dr. McCoy to Medical Bay and allow him to run a complete scan of your body. You will receive whatever treatment he deems fit and follow his medical instructions to the letter. You shall then remain in your quarters. My Kafeh, Anwyll, shall be there with you.”

“Very well, Master,” Scotty said on a mild tone. Sarek had taken control of everything; whatever would happen, it no longer mattered.

He stood up – his knees were hurting, and he realized he had knelt among and on shattered bits of Dilithium crystals. Strange how he hadn’t even been aware of that.

 

Leonard gently took Scotty’s arm; he had a medical tricorder in the other hand and as they were walking towards Medical Bay, he had already started scanning him.

“Scotty, has he hurt you in any way?”

“Whaddaya mean? You were there the whole time, you saw that he has not hurt me, and the meld was just –“

“Not HIM, gosh, Scotty, really, you only have him on your mind… The alien, that… thing down there. AnJoan Grey.”

“Hurt me? Besides the actual threat and blackmail, no, he hasn’t even touched me. It was just cold in the room. Nothing else.”

“Has he… dunno… told you anything… that may have harmed your mind or… just tell me everything. I have orders to look after you even more carefully than I would after my own bondmate.”

“I don’t understand why he is so protective of me and why he suddenly cares about my well-being.”

“Oh. You know why you don’t understand?”

“Why?”

“Because you are a bloody idiot. Now focus. We have learnt that AnJoan Grey’s voice has hypnotic abilities of some sort that may implant secret illnesses at a mental level. Has he told you any weird stuff?”

“Not in the least. He only retrieved me from Transporter Room, took me to that room and brought me food and books. Then he just stood there, observing me.”

“He was with you in the room the whole time?”

“More or less. He would go for half an hour every now and then; but always came back. At first it was scary, the way he stared at me. Then, I got used to it and decided to actually read the books which he had brought me.”

Many things crossed Leonard’s mind: poisoned pages, dangerous, harming knowledge…

“What books were they?”

“ _Complete Works of William Shakespeare.”_

“You are fucking kidding, right?”

“Nope. I think he wanted to be… dunno. Nice to me. Which was weird, since he didn’t really have to, he already had me.”

“No, he did not _have_ you… he had your physical presence. Perhaps he wanted to earn your… affection, somehow?”

“I don’t know – and I don’t care. So, what do you want, Leo? A full physical examination?”

“Yes. He wants you to be healthy and we are going to accomplish that.”

“Okay.”

“Gosh, what a Claim does to a person. Before this, I wouldn’t have stood a chance to even get you to the doors of Medical…”

Scotty smiled as he was removing his clothes and sitting on the biobed.

“If he wants…”

“Yeah, I know how that goes, Scotty, remember?

 

One hour and a half later, Scotty was going to his cabin; he felt calm and at peace, not knowing anything at all about what lay ahead of him, what Sarek was going to do with him, what the Klessar bracelet meant; ever since that moment – when he had said _I love you_ , everything… had settled. Whatever Sarek wanted, it was good. That was what it meant to love a god.

“Anwyll, my friend! What brings you here?” he exclaimed, seeing Sarek’s Kafeh waiting for him in the room – and bowing to him! “What are you doing?”

“Mr. Scott. I am here to serve you.”

“Anwyll, what the hell! We are friends. Like down on the planet. You don’t have to… _serve_ me. ‘sides, we are both the same thing, I believe. Earlier on…”

“I know what occurred earlier on, Mr. Scott, and I can see the claim my Master has placed upon you, as well as the Klessar which you are wearing.”

Scotty blinked a few times.

A claim. Sarek had placed a claim upon him.

A claim was the intention of a bond. The promise for one.

Sarek was going to give him a bond.

The Klessar had the royal markings.

“An…wyll… are we currently on our way to New Vulcan?”

“Yes, Mr. Scott.”

“He is going to give me a bond, is He not?”

“Yes, He is.”

“The… Bond?”

“The Marriage Bond, Mr. Scott.”

 

Darkness fell over Scotty’s overwhelmed consciousness.


	21. Tales Told By An Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Severe Angst.

“The Master wants to see you now, Mr. Scott,” Anwyll said kindly, opening Scotty’s locker and giving him a new Starfleet shirt.

Scotty felt shivers; his hands started to tremble. As he was dressing, he noticed Anwyll turned his back, in order not to see him dress.

“What is going to happen now? Do you think he wants to…?”

As soon as Scotty finished dressing, Anwyll turned towards him.

“I cannot read your thoughts, Mr. Scott, therefore if you require for me to answer a question, it would be good to finish your sentences.”

“Do you think he now wants to… you know. Have me physically?”

Anwyll lifted an eye-brow in surprise.

“No, Mr. Scott. The Master would not do such a thing in the absence of a bond.”

“Why not? It would be perfectly equal to me.”

“That is for him to answer, Mr. Scott. But if you want to know just my opinion, he would not – because he is an honourable man.”

Scotty followed him on the long corridors of the Enterprise. Anwyll’s presence comforted him; he felt he could trust him and confide in him.

“Anwyll, let me tell you something…” he said, almost taking his arm.

“Do not touch me, Mr. Scott.”

“Oh yeah, right. Listen. But do you think he will… you know… at some point… want?”

“That moment will come, yes, Mr. Scott.”

“I don’t know how to do anything,” he said blushing.

Anwyll _almost_ smiled. Mr. Scott was so endearing. No wonder…

“Here we are, Mr. Scott,” Anwyll said chiming. As the door opened, he stepped aside for Scotty to enter first.

Sarek was waiting for him in the middle of the room. Dressed in magnificent robes, he was holding a small white calla lily.

Anwyll silently left the room – this was a private moment.

Scotty stopped two feet away from Sarek, not knowing what to do or say – he who always had some little witty thing to say. Now, all words were gone.

Sarek came to him, took one of his hands and placed the delicate flower in his hand.

Scotty lowered his eyes – the emotion was overwhelming; Sarek was incredibly beautiful and attentive; calla lilies were his favourite flowers… and his heart was beating faster than ever.

Sarek lifted his chin with one finger, to see his eyes again. He leaned his head and slowly kissed his lips.

Scotty had no idea how to respond to a kiss, not that he would be able to, anyway, in the present circumstances. It all felt like a dream – Sarek was KISSING him. It was incredible, incredible, incredible…

“Come, Mr. Scott. Sit down.”

Scotty sat down on the couch – and Sarek sat beside him.

“You have so many questions.”

“Yes, but they have all perished from my mind. I am feeling slightly dumb.”

“I think you are actually starting to sound like yourself.”

Scotty smiled.

“Let me answer the questions you addressed to Anwyll. You have asked Anwyll when I shall enjoy you physically. The answer is, after you receive your bond.”

“Why not before?”

“Because this is not how a Vulcan does things. It would not be honourable. You are not a… ‘one-night stand’ for me, as you, Humans, say.”

“Why not?”

“Because you are to be my bondmate.”

“Why? Why am I going to be your bondmate?”

“Because I chose you to be, and I earnt you after having defeated my rival.”

Not because he loved him, Scotty thought with sadness.

“Your rival… yes. But was he actually your rival? He did not love me; he loved you. How does that make him your rival?”

Sarek frowned.

“Mr. Scott, your intelligence and wit are sharp as usual; however, you are saying dangerous things, which are no good for us, for you. Are you trying to imply that there was no rival actually, and that the challenge was not valid?”

Vulcans… they have very fixed patterns of thinking.

“Please, don’t be… angry,” Scotty said, placing his delicate hand over Sarek’s hand. “I have studied your customs and way of life for many years and there are still many things I cannot even begin to understand. Your… temperature is very elevated… oh… oh my God!!” Scotty murmured, staring at him. “Your Time will commence soon!!”

“Yes,” Sarek answered simply.

This was why he needed a mate, Scotty said, feeling more and more bitter by the second; Sarek wanted him for very practical things.

“Are you sure you want to give me this bond? I would… assist you even without it. I mean you don’t have to… I am a mere Engineer, there is really nothing interesting about me. There is no need to complicate your life thus,” Scotty said, his own heart breaking. But he loved him too much; he had to say what had to be said. He saw no reason for a bond, if love was one-sided.

He saw anger in Sarek’s eyes and then pain traversed his head through the incipient bond; ah yes – their capacity to inflict pain equalled their capacity to make beings fall in love with them.

“How dare you suggest that I treat you as if you were a mere servant? If I want to share my time with a servant, I can very well use Anwyll or another Kafeh!”

“You already did that, right?” Scotty said, looking deeply into his eyes. You already shared your Time with Anwyll in the past, or with… God knows who. Another Kafeh. Listen carefully, Sarek of Vulcan. I realize I am just a nice, little Human toy, another one in the collection of the beings that worship you. I am not going to bond with you. I saw what a bond made out of love looks like; it is the bond your son shares with his mate; _that_ is a _love bond_ , stronger than life itself and brighter than the stars; I want to be someone’s love of their life; not someone’s cute little arrangement or trophy earnt in battle.”

“Mr. Scott?” Sarek said, staring at him in disbelief. “Mr. Scott, how – what –“

“I reject your claim,” Scotty said standing up and focusing his entire strong-will to push the Vulcan claim out of his mind – because he WAS a formidable being, capable of almost anything… even of saying _No_ to Sarek of Vulcan – no matter how it hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

He left the room.

 

He almost didn’t know how he managed to return to his room. He went inside and closed the door, overriding the lock so that no one, not even Leonard could open it. He lay on the bed, his thoughts wandering; his blood running colder by the hour, as if death itself was installing in his young body. He had thrown away his only chance at happiness. “I love you, Scotty!” – how beautiful it sounded; but only in his imagination. Sarek will never say such a thing.

Without actually realizing what he was doing, he went to the console and begin to reroute communication channels, until he managed to connect a video-call to Remus, to AnJoan Grey, bypassing all Enterprise’s security and tracking systems.

The Reman stared at him with curiosity, fear and apprehension, his clawed hands clasped together.

“Why are you calling me, Mr. Scott? Has something happened to Him?”

“Tell me, AnJoan Grey. Do you love Him?”

“I love Him, Mr. Scott. You know it very well. I worship Him.”

“I am sorry. I am so sorry.”

AnJoan Grey leaned with his hands against the console, looking at him very carefully.

“Why are you sorry?”

“He uselessly hurt you because of me. It was not worth it. I am just… just… a trophy, a toy to him.”

“What did you do, Mr. Scott?”

“I… I rejected his claim. Listen, I want to… return to you. I cannot face anyone. Not Him, not my colleagues here… I had resigned anyway… this is just stupidly ridiculous, and I cannot go on this way.”

AnJoan looked at him silently, for many minutes, as realisation of what had occurred was dawning upon him. It was a tragedy waiting to happen, a tragedy which _had_ to happen.

“Our lives, Mr. Scott, as your Terran writer William Shakespeare used to say, are just tales, _told by an idiot, full of sound and fury… signifying nothing_.  Close the door. Don’t let anyone in. I am coming to pick you up.”

 

Jim was not expecting any of it. He was on the Bridge, carefully monitoring their route towards New Vulcan, where they would attend Sarek and Scotty’s bonding. God!!! Sarek of Vulcan was going to give Scotty a full marriage bond! It was so wonderful, so incredible… he had grown to realize just how much Scotty loved and worshipped Sarek; wasn’t it wonderful that Sarek had chosen HIM out of the multitude of people adoring and worshipping him?

It was so fulfilling…

“Do you think he will let us keep Scotty on Enterprise, Spock?”

“I do not know, Jim…” Spock said apprehensively.

Jim was used to every single nuance of Spock’s voice, tone and behaviour by now. It did not escape him that Spock seemed… worried, so worried that he had actually called him _Jim_ whilst on duty and on the Bridge – something Spock would never do if everything was fine.

He stood up and went to his console.

“Spock, what is the matter?”

“I… do not know.”

“Tell me what you _presume_ , then. What worries you?”

“I feel a strange… coldness through the bond with my Father. It is as if he… is blocking me.”

“Perhaps he is with Scotty and they require a bit of privacy.”

“What for? There is no bond yet, and no need for privacy.”

“Spock…” Jim smiled. “Perhaps they talk. Sometimes, even Vulcans want to talk privately with their loved ones… by the way, Spock. Do you think your Father… loves him?”

Spock looked at Jim with surprise.

“A Vulcan never says such things, Jim. We are different…”

“You told Bones you loved him.”

“Yes, well… I am different. I believe that feelings should be communicated clearly. And I am half human.”

“Okay but do you believe he _loves_ him?”

Spock smiled – which was rare.

“Jim… he is in the process of giving him a marriage bond. A Vulcan may never say _I love you_ and even more so, my Father – but a marriage bond cannot form in the absence of _love._ It is what nourishes the bond, it is what makes it **form**. People see Vulcans as _robots lacking feelings_ as Leonard loves to tease me sometimes – but let me assure you that we do feel – even deeper and stronger than other species. We are just bad at… expressing those feelings. Especially when bonding with another race.”

“Sometimes, it is important to make the effort and say the right words…” Jim said, a bit sadly – after which he returned to his chair.

“CAPTAIN, there is a ship approaching at high Warp, on intercept course!!” Sulu exclaimed.

Jim immediately regretted having left his attention slide for the duration of that brief discussion with Spock. The ship which was approaching was fast, much larger than the Enterprise and Jim had no time to even utter _Shields up, Red Alert_ , because immediately after, a terrible, merciless blast of torpedoes targeted their Warp Drive, their stabilizers and their main computer array, rendering the Enterprise useless.

Scotty wanted to jump on his feet and rush back to Engineering or to the Bridge – they were being attacked!!! And all of a sudden, he realized who the attacker was – AnJoan Grey, whom he had summoned himself… it was him who was responsible for this! Who knew how AnJoan Grey had interpreted his words – had he actually taken them literally?? He only wanted to…

What had he wanted to do, anyway?

But he had no more time for thinking and analysis. His entire body started to tingle, he could recognize the Transporter phase – he was being taken away.

He will not think, he will not think. Let AnJoan take him away. After all, it was him who had requested this very thing. Jim will… deal with things.

When the Transporter sequence ended, he found himself in AnJoan Grey’s transporter room – and he was not alone. Together with him, there was Anwyll – scared and confused.

“Anwy, what the actual hell?” Scotty exclaimed, rushing to grab his arm, to help him regain balance. Upon looking around through the room, he located AnJoan Grey, standing there quietly. “What the hell did you do, why did you fire upon the Enterprise? Is anyone hurt? Why did you take Anwyll too?”

AnJoan turned his back on them and left the room, leaving one guard with them.

Anwyll was trembling hard, scared, unable to talk.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Scotty snapped at the guard.

But unlike his master, the guard seemed not to understand Standard English at all. He merely signalled them to follow him, which they did because it was awfully cold in Transporter Room; they were taken to something which looked like living quarters – and left.

“Okay, fuck. First things first,” Scotty said trying to calm himself, for Anwyll’s sake. Let us increase the temperature here and calm down and assess the situation.”

He approached a console and pressed a few buttons, trying to see how that worked; after quickly figuring it out – it was no big deal for him anyway – he managed to increase the temperature enough for Anwyll to be able to survive.

Then he gently placed his hands on Anwyll’s shoulders, making him sit down.

“It is okay, Anwyll. Please don’t be afraid. This… being is not going to hurt us. It is all my fault and most probably a misunderstanding. It is me who called him to come and pick me up.”

“Why, Mr. Scott? Why have you done such an abominable thing? You had everything…”

“Why? Because he did not actually want me, Anwyll. I was some kind of trophy for him… something he had _acquired_.”

“And what did you want, Mr. Scott?” Anwyll almost screamed at him, barely controlling his own fury and despair.

“I wanted him to love me.”

“You wanted him to LOVE you, Mr. Scott? No. You wanted him to TELL you he loved you. Because you knew very well he DID love you.”

“No, I did not. I cannot read minds like you do.”

Anwyll could no longer control his own emotions. He struck Scotty hard over his face, effectively throwing him a few metres away. He rushed at him and shook him hard, ignoring the blood which was flowing out of his nose.

“You stupid, senseless, careless and heartless human!! You thought he did not love you and you thought it were a good idea to reject his claim and let him burn alone in the Fires of his Ponn Farr, because you were too blinded by your own pride to see it! He LOVED you, you demonic creature! He LOVED YOU. The marriage bond cannot form in the absence of love!!!”

“W…what?” Scotty murmured, as the realisation of a terrible mistake was dawning upon him, throwing dark, miserable shadows and looking very much like death.

“You Heard Me!”

“We must go back to the Enterprise at once. I will tell AnJoan… let’s go to the Bridge immediately…”

“It is too late, Mr. Scott.”

“It is never to late to fix a mistake, Anwyll, what are you even talking about?”

“After you rejected his claim, he collapsed on the floor unconscious. I had called Doctor McCoy at once, who had managed to apply a hypospray to stabilize his heart and lower his temperature a bit. The Master opened his eyes, looked around and saw you were nowhere. _My mate, my ashayam, left me._ This is what he had said. He decided to abandon himself to the Fires of Ponn Farr which would kill him very quickly in the absence of… his mate or an assistant. I begged him and tried to reason with him. I told him you do not deserve the honour of him dying because of you; you are unworthy of it. All you cared about was… words. You had abandoned him when he needed you the most. The world, the universe needed him. Vulcans needed their King. Duty was important. I would assist him – as I had done Times and Times before.”

“He had… accepted?” Scotty murmured, lost.

“He had. He is the King of Vulcan. He knows what his duties are.”

“And now you are here. Who is going to assist him?”

“His only remaining Kafeh, on board the Enterprise – which is now stranded and cannot even call for help.”

“What only remaining Kafeh? You were the only one to accompany him, there was no other… Anwyll, WHO? Who is his only remaining Kafeh?”

“Spock.”

 

He closed his eyes; he hoped AnJoan Grey was taking him somewhere – where he could rot and die. Like he deserved.


	22. Those Were Their Lives Being Destroyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Warning! Warning!  
> Please take the warnings into consideration.  
> This chapter depicts dark scenes of incest and vicious beating, referencing to character death.

Leonard had completely lost it upon seeing Sarek of Vulcan collapse right in front of his very eyes. It was terrible; his skin was burning, he kept mentioning something about his mate having deserted him. Anwyll had collapsed onto his knees and was speaking to him in Vulcan, trying to convince him of something… Leonard could not understand what was being said but he could deduce it.

But then, then… the unthinkable happened.

Anwyll was gone. Leonard could see he had been transported away, but he did not know why or where.

Sarek remained motionless on the floor.

Leonard managed to lift him even though Sarek was heavy – and took him to bed. He proceeded to rescan him and inject him with fluids and nutrients, whilst his own mind was racing to find solutions to lower his body temperature – even though he knew very well that nothing but a partner could accomplish that.

He flipped his communicator open.

“McCoy to the Bridge!”

There was no answer and after a few more attempts, Leonard realized that communications were down.

He needed to get Scotty here immediately!!!

He ran to Engineering as fast as he could – he supposed Scotty would be there, but he wasn’t; instead, there were agitated people running around everywhere in disorder.

“Where is Mr. Scott?”

Nobody gave him any coherent answer and Leonard immediately realized that the computer function of geolocating someone aboard the ship was also offline.

Leonard rushed to the Bridge.

“JIM!” he yelled as soon as the elevator doors opened. “Jim, are you hurt? What the hell is going on here?”

He took a deep breath – of relief – upon seeing Jim and Spock in the middle of the Bridge, focused on finding a solution to a very obvious crisis – a crisis Leonard was yet to be aware of.

“We have been under attack. The ship is severely damaged, we lost Warp and communications. Main computer is offline. Our attacker has left for now.”

Leonard took a deep breath whilst looking into Spock’s eyes for a bit of support.

“Scotty needs to calm down and stop his tantrums and return to Sarek; he is entering Ponn Farr. His body temperature is already 43 degrees Celsius. If it goes over 45, his heart will stop.”

Spock felt he was going to lose consciousness upon hearing those words – it was not mere worry for Sarek; it was something more; dread, terror, or perhaps the effort of keeping some very dark memories still under control. His beautiful face turned white and his nails, Leonard could see – were turning dark-green – he was becoming cyanotic.

“Master? Master, what is it?” Leonard went to him immediately, his hands over his shoulders, trying to understand why Spock was having such a bad reaction to the news about his Father’s Ponn Farr.

“Mr. Scott and Anwyll have been taken by our attacker, AnJoan Grey. He showed us a recording with the prisoners and advised that if we attempt to rescue them, they will die in agony.”

“What? Oh my God! Jim, how are we going to fix this?”

“We are… I mean I am supposed to check in with Chris… topher Pike every 90 standard minutes. I am thinking, he will realize something is wrong when I don’t check in and send help.”

“But what if he does not realize it right away and figures out something’s wrong when you don’t check in the second time?” That will be nearly 3 hours! Almost four, if we count the time he needs to get here!”

“We are attempting to get communications back online, but it is difficult without Scotty’s expertise… Spock was just saying… Spock? Where did Spock go?”

Leonard looked back where Spock had been standing until then – he was gone. He panicked.

“Heard him say he was going to see his Father,” Sulu said softly. “The Commander seemed really worried.”

 

Scotty was overwhelmed by frenzy. He would not give up, not now; he would do whatever he could to take this ship over and turn it around and return to the Enterprise.

He managed to shake some sense into Anwyll.

“I’ll open the door, you’ve got that proverbial Vulcan strength and kung-fu, yeah?”

“I am strong and capable to fight – but let me remind you that we have no weapons and physical strength is useless if a firearm is pointed at us. I do not know what _Kung –“_

“Yeah, yeah,” Scotty said improvising a small cutting tool out of two wires and an electric circuit he had pulled out of a panel, with which he cut a few metal bars from the bed’s structure and from other pieces of furniture and electronic equipment in the room. “Not exactly _fire-arms_ but let me tell you these babies will do a lot of damage if aimed at someone’s head. Stand behind me,” he then sort-of ordered Anwyll.

“You should stand behind me, you are fragile as all humans are – and your life is very precious.”

“Anwyll, I will not argue with you. If we make it back in time, guess who is going to assist Him? I do not have a bond with him and I rejected his claim. Which makes you the only person able to assist him.”

“Mr. Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“You are a bloody idiot who understands nothing.”

Trying to figure out their way back to the Bridge, they ran into absolutely no one; it is as if the few guards they had spotted upon being brought here had melted away.

Scotty was hacking into every single console they passed by, slowly acquainting himself with the ship ad trying to figure out where the Bridge and the Engine room were. When he was finally able to understand the structure of the ship, he decided to go to Engineering first.

He stared at the Engine – so different from everything he had seen. He had to reroute the Bridge controls up to here.

He started working silently, whilst Anwyll was carefully monitoring their surroundings and making sure no one was approaching.

“Anwyll, how much time He has left?”

“Before what, Mr. Scott?”

“Before the Fever elevates beyond repair and control.”

“He was almost… beyond control, Mr. Scott. If he still has some hope about our return left, he may resist another few hours. But given the way things are evolving, it is highly unlikely we make it back in due time.”

“Damn! DAMN YOU, ANJOAN GREY, you son of a bitch!!!” he screamed, and then he just rushed out of Engineering, towards the Bridge; he just wanted to Kill AnJoan Grey.

Sometimes, in life, you just had to let go of all planning and strategy; sometimes, there was only fury.

Out of breath, he just launched himself at AnJoan Grey, hitting him with the metallic rod, with his fists, with his feet.

Blinded by anger, he did not even notice that not for a single moment did AnJoan Grey fight back.

 

Spock was not surprised to see that Sarek’s door was locked with the Royal code, meaning _do not disturb_. At the same time, he knew his Father, his Master, was alone in there – and in great distress.

He overrode the lock without feeling exceedingly guilty.

Sarek had seemingly attempted to meditate, but had very soon lost consciousness, his fever high and life-threatening; Spock went to him; he collapsed on his knees, he lifted him up.

“Beloved Father and Master, I am here, I am here. Please, do not give in to the Fires, please do not let the Fever consume you. Please, please.” He aligned his fingers on Sarek’s meld points and melded profoundly, as if he wanted to just… shake his consciousness. “Please, open your eyes. Your life is too precious. Please, you cannot abandon me. Not now.”

Slowly-slowly, with great difficulty, Sarek opened his eyes. He tried to push Spock away.

“No… please, do not. There is no one else here able to assist you. Anwyll and Scotty are… gone. I am your only remaining Kafeh. I offer you my body; let me assist you, just like you assisted me, _back then_.”

Guilt surfaced with the force of a volcano in Sarek’s consciousness, mirroring that in Spock’s mind and soul. Memories. Memories of a dark, dark day, in which the unthinkable happened and it had henceforth consumed both of them.

_Alone in a shuttle. Sarek had come to pick Spock up at the end of his first Academy semester, trying to reason with him again and attempting to convince him to return to Vulcan and see to his duties as Vulcan heir. Spock did not want to discuss – as usual. There was a heated discussion; Sarek felt betrayed and upset. The control over his emotions slipped; when Spock said for the tenth time that he would remain at the Academy, Sarek had hit him hard over his face._

_Spock had lost balance. He had to sit down for a while; he had started to feel ill._

_Worried beyond words, Sarek helplessly saw how his son started to be consumed by the Fever. The Time was not yet due; the sorrow of being hit by his own Father, he shock of it all, the overall inner-depression had accelerated a condition which was, in normal circumstances, not deadly in the least – and with the right partner, extraordinarily rewarding._

_Sarek had tried to go to maximum speed, but even so, they had eighteen more hours to Vulcan; he had chosen this particular non-warp shuttle just to be sure he’d have ample, undisturbed time alone with Spock for discussions._

_And now, the unthinkable was happening._

_Spock was his son; his biological son; it was a tragedy._

_But he would not lose his only son._

_He had blocked all thoughts, all emotions; he had taken Spock to the small bed in the back side of the shuttle; he had undressed him; he had removed his own robes._

_He had joined him on the bed and pinned him down. Yes, it was abominable. He had taken him – hard, roughly, without speaking, without looking into his eyes, for the necessary amount of time, until the Fever broke and Spock’s body temperature decreased. He got out of the bed._

_He was of a mind to take his own life, Sarek of Vulcan. Because such a thing had never happened._

_And then. T.h.e.n._

_Then, Spock had caught his hand, murmuring “Please, Please.”_

_“What do you require?” he had asked._

_“Please, be with me one last time.”_

_And Sarek could not say no; he came back to bed; Spock turned towards him; he wrapped his arms around his neck; he lifted his head and kissed his dry lips; they kissed, kissed fiercely and left all thoughts aside; in the dark, cold, empty space, they made love._

_And they never spoke of it again, memories buried deeply, behind forbidden doors – too dangerous to open. Dark, dark demons._

Sarek lifted his hand, to meld with his son.

Spock caught his hand, stopping him.

“You want to remove the Kafeh bond, so that I cannot assist you; I remind you that it is a high bond and you will kill me if you remove it. Also, I swear to you that if you die, I shall follow you.”

“Spock,” he murmured. “You have gone mad, my child. You have a bondmate – I cannot do this to you. I have already done too much. Too much…”

“Then it should not matter. I only want you to live. Leonard is good, he is kind; he is forgiving; he will forgive me, us. But if you die, I will never, ever forgive myself,” Spock said crying and covering his hand with kisses. “I love you. I love you. Please.”

Just like long ago in the deep, dark night, Spock reached for his burning lips and kissed him.

Once more, thoughts and reason were left aside.

These were their lives – being destroyed.

 

It was not entirely difficult for Jim to put two and two together.

The way Spock had turned pale when hearing that Sarek was entering Ponn Farr and there was absolutely no one left to assist him. It was not as if you volunteered to assist a Vulcan through his Time; there had to be a bond of some sort in place, or at least the intention of a bond.

The way Spock had left the Bridge.

Where could Spock go, with his pupils dilated and looking as if he had been hypnotized – where could Spock go amidst a crisis of such magnitude?

To Sarek, of course.

To Sarek – to assist him.

Jim closed his eyes, thinking, thinking, whilst Leonard was endlessly talking near him and trying to understand what was going on.

How did the Ponn Farr Fever abate? You had to mate. With an adequate assistant, or with your intended or actual bondmate.

Or…?

Or you fought.

A life-and death fight following a challenge.

“Doctor McCoy,” he said on a strict, severe tone.

“Huh?” Leonard asked rubbing his eyes.

Jim knew very well that his friend was yet to understand what was going on here. Would Leonard survive knowing that his bondmate, his master, his… everything, his beloved Spock had slept with his own Father?

Jim was not going to test this.

“Doctor McCoy, you will assume Command of the Enterprise. I have something of great importance to do. You shall remain on the Bridge and under no circumstances will you leave it unattended. Lieutenants Sulu and Chekov shall assist you with everything you require in terms of Bridge operations.”

“Jim, what the hell – I’m a Doctor, not a Captain, why – what, what are you doing, where are you going?”

“I am going to get us help,” Jim lied.

That statement momentarily settled Leonard’s nerves; he believed him, of course, he had no doubts about Jim’s plans and intentions. It hadn’t occurred to him that Jim had been obscure as hell. In his mind, Jim was taking a shuttle and flying towards the nearest Starbase to get help.

Jim took a deep breath; he looked at the Bridge as if he was seeing it for the very last time – and it may very well be so; he left. He walked towards Sarek’s quarters. Christopher will never forgive him for this.

The door was locked with Spock’s private access code; it only took minutes to hack it and disable it, after which the panel released the door.

He entered, to see a view for which he had mentally prepared – still, it made his stomach turn.

Sarek, leaned over Spock – covering his neck in bite-marks – marking him, preparing to take him.

“SAREK OF VULCAN, STOP!” Jim screamed at him with all his strength.

It startled the two Vulcans who looked up – Jim could see Sarek’s dilated pupils, dark-green injected eyes, all reason lost, overcome by a primal instinct stronger than himself.

He had no fault, Jim knew, but he STILL hated him.

He could see Spock’s shame.

“SPOCK IS MINE,” Jim next shouted, happy he was a human and he could, therefore, lie. “I challenge you to Kal’if Fee, Sarek of Vulcan.”

“Jim, no…” it was all Spock could murmur, but immediately after, Sarek stood up and pinched him; his wayward Kafeh was trying to protect the challenger? Not while he still breathed.

He advanced towards Jim, slowly, slowly, he took a hold of his neck and easily pushed him against a wall, looking deeply into his eyes.

“You Wanted To Take Spock From Me?” he asked on a deadly tone.

“Spock is not yours,” Jim said – and this time he was telling the truth. Sarek perceived the validity of that statement through the touch; pure fury was released from where his inner discipline and strength had concealed it; this human – it did not matter who he was – this human was threatening to take what was **his**.

This human will not survive The Challenge.

 

Yes, those were their lives being destroyed.


	23. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time to say those words was now.

He had stopped hitting Jim when he felt him completely unresponsive, collapsed to the ground, barely looking like a human being – Sarek felt Jim’s life leaving his fragile body and it was that moment when the dark, thick, horrible mist of the Fever lifted from his mind, like a curtain revealing the light of reason and understanding. He had faced and defeated the one who wanted to take his Spock – the Kal’if Fee was over. The Fever was over. It had been overcome through fight and not through mating.

He covered his mouth with his hands full of human blood, looking at the motionless form at his feet.

Jim Kirk.

He had killed Jim Kirk, the One Man who had saved –

HE HAD KILLED JAMES KIRK!!!!

He looked around him, he wanted to…. He did not know what he wanted… all he knew was that he could no longer live, he could no longer stand himself – he was the most evil person in the universe, someone who sought only to harm and destroy – someone who had wanted to use his own son to go through Ponn Farr and who had accepted the Kal’if Fee challenge made by one of his dearest, most beloved friends, the one Captain who had saved thousands of Vulcan lives and who… oh, there was nothing holy anymore – he was a snake a serpent a cockroach that had to be destroyed – no, not even that – a knife, a knife to end his miserable life right now!!!

He advanced stumbling towards the replicator to produce a weapon – he will not live, not even for one day, not even for one minute, he could no longer stand his own darkness –

And then, a merciful hand squeezed his shoulder brusquely – the sharp, precise pinch – he collapsed to the ground.

“Medical teams to King Sarek’s quarters,” Spock said, catching him when he fell and laying him on the floor. “Leonard. Come immediately,” he added, gathering Jim in his arms and melding with him profoundly, to attach his fading life to his own mind – he would not let his friend perish; he could not lose Jim.

But Jim was barely clinging to life; Spock knew there was not even a single moment to waste. He started CPR, chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth. 

“Come on, Jim. I nearly died for you and you nearly died for me so many times. This is not the time for death. Please, Jim,” he said with despair.

Leonard rushed inside; only for a moment he stopped, shocked to the core by the sight.

“I’ve got him, I’ve got him,” he said, collapsing on his knees near Jim and proceeding to stabilize him; Spock knew that Jim was now in the best possible hands. If anyone could save Jim, that was Leonard.

Jim was rushed to the Medical Bay, straight to the Operating Theatre. Spock had followed them closely, to be able to brief Leonard on what had happened. It was beyond shocking, beyond horrible, it was incredible, Leonard thought; but they had to deal with everything which came their way, one day… one hour at a time.

“There is no one in command,” Leonard told him worriedly. “Now I understand why Jim had ordered me not to leave the Bridge!! What is Sarek’s status, tell me this, and then please go to the Bridge.”

“He is unconscious, and he will remain thus for a long while. His Katra has sunk into darkness.”

“I am not sure I can deal with that right now. Is he going to die?”

“It is possible and very likely. My… Father has arrived at the margin of life. Only one small step is between him and the dark abyss.”

“No dark abysses on my watch. Bring him here, put him on that biobed and then go to the Bridge.”

“Leonard, but you – “

“That is an order, Commander,” Leonard said sharply, knowing that this was one of those moments when his authority surpassed even that of Spock or Jim.

Spock’s mind was traversed by a brief, soothing wave of comfort. They were Starfleet Officers. They had to function. They had to work. They had to fix this.

He brought Sarek to the Medical Bay; Leonard simply looked at one of his assistants which were used to him conveying orders in that manner – and came to hook Sarek to life-support. That was it, for now. He would now look after Jim.

It had been so fortunate that Spock knew how to perform basic CPR – Jim’s heart had stopped several times; but Leonard got this.

 

Christopher Pike was very worried. He had not heard from Jim at their designated time and he knew, he could sense it, something was very wrong – especially if he took into consideration the fact that – all of a sudden – the Enterprise had completely disappeared from the radar. He had jumped into the first scout ship, taking a security detail with him, and flew towards their last known location at high warp.

There it was, the Enterprise, adrift.

Jim –

Jim was not well – he knew it. Jim would not let the ship in such a state, Jim was the most inventive, the most creative man which existed – he would have found a solution to fix this.

He docked with the Enterprise – oh, the main power was down. If a hostile being boarded them, they wouldn’t even know.

Everything was a mess here. Jim would have placed guards on all the vulnerable entry points of the ship. Where was Jim, where was his Jim?

“Pavel!! Pavel Chekov!” he shouted upon seeing the young man passing through the corridor, seemingly on his way to Engineering.

“Aaaadmiral!! Oh, Thank God!”

“Pavel,” Chris said cupping his face. “Where is the Captain?”

“He is in surgery, Admiral. There has been a situation.”

“WHAT SITUATION. What happened to Jim?”

“Spock was saying that Ambassador Sarek has… has injured him.”

An accident, it must have been an accident of some sort, Chris thought whilst rushing towards the Medical Bay.

Several people had gathered there, waiting to hear from the doctor, to have news about their Captain and friend. Spock was amidst them.

“SPOCK!!”  Chris shook him hard.  Talk to me right now. What is going on here?”

“Admiral Pike…”

“Start Talking!”

Spock did not know how he could convey what had happened using actual words, in any known language. The tragedy of what their lives had become in the last days. Their shattered lives. He extended one hand and melded with Chris, letting him see everything, the whole truth, even his Kafeh bond which, by Sarek’s orders, had to remain concealed. He doubted it mattered anymore…

Chris remained staring at Spock. He had no idea what to say, what to do, now that he knew everything, how to even… begin.

“For all that matters, Admiral… I sense Leonard hopeful and tranquil through the intervention. I believe it is going well.”

Chris did not say anything else for a while, just looking towards the door which separated the waiting room from the operating theatre.

“I will be on the Bridge,” he finally told Spock. Remain here. You are so devastated yourself, you would not be of much use. Report to me every ten minutes with information or bond impressions.”

“Yes, Admiral.”

Chris went to the Bridge and assumed command. Many young eyes were relieved to see him; nobody had had any idea what to do or what their situation was, there had been no chain of command, no duty assignments, as if everything had gone to hell.

Everything HAD gone to hell. It was a reality right now, Chris thought. Hell could not be any darker than this.

But no darkness lasted forever.

Of that, he was sure.

“Mr. Chekov. Go to Engineering and put together a full damage report. Mr. Sulu, go to the shuttle I have used to travel here, the sensors and computer are operational. Run long range sensors and see if you can locate AnJoan Grey’s ship. Also use the computer to send a distress call to Starfleet, after Mr. Chekov finishes his report. Ask for all materials and tools we are missing. Lieutenant Uhura, see to shift rotations, assign teams and schedule repairs. Give everyone something to do. I shall supervise Medical Bay and Engineering Activity. I want the secondary power array and impulse engines online in two hours. To work.”

He used to convey orders on a calm, composed tone as usual; nothing betrayed his own turmoil and worry.

The people took a deep breath and started to work.

It was good to work.

 

Leonard had finished his work. It had not been as bad as he had thought. Jim was fragile; when faced with physical resistance, such as fighting, extreme fatigue or stress, his body and his mind were shutting down. It was a good thing. He had managed to fix all internal damage and stabilize him; carefully, he placed him on a biobed and sent a warm, hopeful nudge through his bond with Spock.

There was always hope – even if Jim got himself in the worst kind of trouble, again and again.

“Get me Commander Spock,” Leonard asked his assistant.

When Spock arrived, carefully wrapped in scrubs, Leonard looked into his eyes for a moment, looking for a moment of much-needed peace.

“He made it.”

“Thanks to your exceptional care, Leonard… Admiral Pike has arrived.”

“Good, I will call him to see Jim immediately. Before I do that, could you look and see if Jim’s mind has suffered any damage?”

Spock melted with Jim profoundly, rather cringing at the fact; while earlier he had melded with Christopher Pike for exchange of information, now he was melding with his Captain and Friend to investigate. But it was for Jim’s own good, he hoped that both Jim and Chris would forgive this sacrilege.

“My Father has not touched his mind. There is exhaustion and worry – because of his own oath towards Christopher Pike – but no harm.”

“Good, could you place him in one of those trances?”

“The alpha-sleep?”

“If that is he equivalent for humans, then yes.”

“Very well.”

Spock gently broke the meld after a few seconds.

“It is not the time, nor the place, Master, but I need to know. Did you want to assist Sarek yourself through the Time?”

“Yes, Leonard,” he said sorrowfully.

Leonard swallowed hard.

“Why?”

“He would have died otherwise.”

“This is not the only reason I can feel it.”

“You are very wise and perceptive, as usual, Leonard. It is not the only reason. I will tell you, even though this confession my lead to me losing you – and that would mean my death. But you deserve to know everything. My first Ponn Farr started brusquely when I was a student at the Academy. I was flying with him when it happened. There was no one there, I would have died. He assisted me.”

“God, oh my God,” Leonard murmured, feeling shivers.

“It makes you nauseous? Listen until the end, Leonard, and then you will be sick of me… He assisted me, yes. And I liked it. I was happy.”

Leonard looked downwards, right not his mind, his soul felt… empty, he did not know what to say… what to do, even… the shocks were never ending, it seemed.

He appreciated Spock’s honesty.

It must have been hard to say such a thing.

Was it abominable?

Was Spock… regretting…? But how do you regret a feeling? – A feeling you cannot stop yourself from… feeling?

“Are you in love with Sarek, Spock?” he asked, calling him _Spock_ and not _Master_ , because right now he did not know where they stood.

“I was. I believe I still am – at a different level. I do not desire to be with him physically. I only wish for him not to die.”

“Do you believe that when he wakes up, he’ll want to still live?”

“I hope we shall be able to give him some reasons to do so.”

“Okay. There is much for me to digest. Please do not take it the wrong way, but as of now, I need a bit of space. Please go, take care of Sarek, come see Jim, just don’t talk to me and don’t… make me do anything.”

“Are you giving me up, Leonard?” Spock asked, his own heart trembling.

“I am not sure. I shall give you an answer tomorrow.”

 

Locating AnJoan Grey’s ship was easy for Hikaru Sulu. As soon as it was done, he advised Chris Pike about it. At first, Pike wanted to leave Spock in command of the Enterprise and just go look for Scotty and his abductor; but upon seeing Spock as devastated as never before – he could easily guess what had transpired – he decided otherwise.

He left Pavel Chekov in command.

Pavel was the youngest, but very smart, brave and loyal – and besides, he had gotten communications back online, which was an important achievement.

With help and repair materials on the way, Chris got Sulu and went ahead to intercept AnJoan Grey’s ship.

It was an easy job – AnJoan Grey’s ship was also adrift. He could only imagine what tragedies had taken place here as well. Chris and Sulu scanned the ship and quickly discovered three fading life-signs on the Bridge. They headed that way as fast as possible.

The view was strange and heart-wrenching. There was little to no life-support left, which meant low temperature and thin oxygen.

Scotty and Anwyll had collapsed to the ground. AnJoan Grey, severely wounded and seemingly barely alive, had crawled near them and… had covered them with his thick, ample, black cloak and shielded them from the cold with his own body.

Why do you abduct two beings and then – when they attack you in their rightful attempt to take control of the situation – why do you protect them? Why do you try to save them even when your life is almost at the end?

Chris saw no logic in this – but there HAD to be a logic – he simply did not have all the pieces of the puzzle.

There were no other survivors on the ship; without much thinking, Chris took the three injured beings with him, wrapping them in thermic blankets and setting a course back to Enterprise.

He could not know what AnJoan Grey’s plans had been. But he knew this, he felt this: he could not let him die.

Leonard took care of all of them, with equal professionalism. If Chris brought AnJoan Grey here, then it would mean there was something more happening than it met the eye. Or perhaps Chris simply had… a good heart.

He placed AnJoan Grey on a separate biobed, with a security detail near-by, for safety reasons. The Reman had severe concussions and several broken bones. He put Anwyll on a bed on Sarek’s right side – he was hypothermic and dehydrated, but otherwise fine.

He put Scotty on the same biobed with Sarek, in his arms.

He needed a reason to live? There it was.

He waited.

Sarek opened his eyes almost immediately and his arms instantly wrapped around Scotty.

“Ashayam, my beloved… you are here…” he murmured, between the falling tears.

Scotty opened his eyes – he looked at him adoringly, almost not believing – Sarek, Sarek of Vulcan, the beautiful King, the love and light of his life – his everything – he was there!!! He Was There!

“I love you, I love you,” Sarek murmured, holding him with despair. “Please, forgive me, Ashayam. I love you. Do you still want me?”

“Master…” Scotty murmured, lost in his eyes, his voice a murmur, his heart beating so fast that it made all the Medbay instruments go crazy. “Master. You are the one who should forgive. I do not only love you… I worship you. I adore you. I will do anything…”

Sarek had imagined a magnificent ceremony at home, where he would bring his Human bondmate. A red carpet, Wagner’s music – because he knew Scotty liked it – champagne, the Honour Guard, their families, their friends. Perhaps later, they would have a ceremony But, right now, something else was important.

He touched his face and their bond formed almost instantaneously, splendid and bright like the sun, beautiful like the words they had spoken: I love you.

The time to say those words was **now**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter until the end.


	24. The Love That Follows Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For you... I would do anything.”

**Chapter 24**

 

Chris felt his own heart brighten like the sun when Jim finally opened his eyes. He had been holding his hand for the past ten hours.

He stood up and looked at him laying there on the biobed, with the same smile and look which he had that day when he had scraped him of the barroom floor.

“Forgive me, Master,” Jim found himself say, almost unknowingly.

Chris did not even register the change in the way of addressing from _Chris_ to _Master_ ; it was all the same; it reflected reality. He was Jim’s owner.

“What was your fault?” Chris asked him on a soft, but firm tone.

“I had put myself in grave danger. Mortal danger.”

“Why?”

“To… save Spock.”

“Could it have been avoided?”

“I do not believe so. He would have assisted Sarek and… it would have destroyed Leonard.”

“They are not far from destruction right now. You did all you could.”

“Will you punish me?” Jim asked, his heart beating faster.

“Yes,” Chris said calmly. “I told you I will not tolerate such behaviour and I shall not. However, there are attenuating circumstances, since the danger could not be avoided.

“Please, anything. I will do anything, just do not leave me.”

Chris caressed his lips with his thumb, slowly, carefully monitoring Jim’s reactions.

“I shall not leave you. But I shall not allow you to go aboard another ship without me. Understand? It is either your career as a Captain, or me.”

“You. You.” Jim said without a single moment of hesitation.

“You shall be reinstated as my First Officer and that will be all there is to be discussed about it. Boring diplomatic missions from this day on.”

“Anything you want.”

Chris looked at his tired features for a moment.

“You love me that much…”

“ _Love_ does not even begin to describe what I feel for you.”

It melted Chris – such devotion, such devotion. Such talent, and wisdom, and intelligence and creativity – such immense qualities – and he was just 24 years old. James Kirk, his James Kirk. Whom he owned. He was not planning on keeping him as his First Officer forever, of course – just until Jim learnt not to jump head first into any situation; just enough to learn caution. And perhaps, him too would have a thing or two to learn from Jim Kirk.

“How is Spock?”

“Shattered. There are things you do not know, which I do, and which eventually transpired.”

“I do know everything,” Jim smiled.

Chris raised an eye-brow.

“Okay. I am listening. What do you believe it happened?”

“I believe a secret bond connected Spock and Sarek. A bond of submission. Perhaps a bond of love.”

“Truly so. It was a _Kafeh_ bond. It still is. It cannot be undone. How did you know?”

“Through observation. I saw how he lowered his eyes whenever Sarek looked at him; how he murmured _Yes, Father_ , how reverently he touched him; how he jumped to execute his every order, and not like a son obeys his father – he has never done that, in fact – but like a servant obeys his master. One whom he adores.”

“Observant… continue, my dear Sherlock.”

Jim smiled.

“I saw how Spock turned pale – if Vulcans can even do that!! – when Leonard informed us of the fact that Sarek was going into Ponn Farr and had no assistant. I saw how he struggled to keep something terrible under control – an urge, the shadow of a memory, the shadow of a deep pain – I know Spock, he is like my own brother. No matter how emotionless he struggles to appear, to be honest I know every thought that passes through his mind.  I knew, that moment, he was going to assist Sarek. I knew that the thought was not abominable to him – he looked transfixed but not horrified."

“Amazing…”

“And, well, I could not let it happen.”

“Why?”

“Because it would have meant their doom. Their connection would have become stronger; Sarek may have given Spock a different bond, by accident or by intention; Ponn Farr is irrational and uncontrollable. That way, he would have destroyed Spock’s chance of harmony with Leonard and Scotty’s remaining chances to Sarek’s heart. There is something deep, dark and unspeakable between Sarek and Spock; but it must remain so. They must deal with it on calm, neuter ground, with clear minds. And no Fever.”

“How will they respective mates deal with this?”

“Just like I am dealing with the fact that once, long ago, you were with Jonathan Archer.”

“How Do You Even Know That?”

Jim smiled.

“Please, do not be upset. I researched every little bit of biography, trivia and miscellaneous about you; even the paparazzi pictures and gossip.”

“It was long ago.”

“Of course. And now you are good friends. It is a part of your past; that relationship, I am sure, has made you a better person and has made you grow in many ways as a person. You should never be ashamed of having loved someone. And neither should they. We see incest as something abominable because we are humans. But for Vulcans it is different. What they lived once, long ago, was their own moment to treasure. They should not feel shame. They should not feel pain. They should treasure the memory. They should be happy. And their mates should accept them for who they are, if they really love them. Love forgives everything.”

Leonard dropped his tricorder and left the room. He had been quietly listening to the conversation, from the other side of Jim’s bed, with Chris’ silent permission.

He had been in great pain, Leonard.

In great pain.

The thought of Spock and… Sarek… was…

It had been sickening, revolting; but now, it no longer seemed so.

Spock had been honest.

He knew Spock loved him; he knew that Spock had undergone great pain and sacrifices and had endured a lot of inner pain to have him, to keep him. But he had also been honest in his confession. Yes – he had loved Sarek of Vulcan – not like a son loves his father. Differently. But that did not mean things were the same now. Or what did it mean? He had to ask.

All in all, Leonard knew that whatever he would ask Spock, he’d get honest answers. He was grateful for that.

And what they had was too important, too sacred, too beautiful. He could not let their love and their beautiful bond go to hell just because… what, because Sarek of Vulcan existed?

He located Spock in the observation lounge. He went there and slowly, gently wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.

Spock placed his hands on Leonard’s hands.

They stood like that silently for a while.

“Love him, Spock,” Leonard began softly. "He deserves it. I will not love you any less and I know you will not love me any less either. Love him fiercely. Do you want to break our bond?”

Spock turned towards him and cupped his face. There was despair in his eyes, there were tears.

“No, Leonard, my beloved. I could never want that. You are… my bondmate, my soul-mate. I do not know what words to se to make you understand.”

“As I see and feel it, Spock, you love us both. Differently and similarly, at the same time. A part of him, a hidden, well-guarded part, will always long for Sarek of Vulcan. It is just the same for him. And his own bondmate knows it.”

“There are dark demons laying in wait, Leonard. I am not the perfect Vulcan you imagined; I am jaded and broken and… dirty. But I promise you this; I could not survive without your love.”

“Or his.”

Spock remained silent for a moment. It was difficult to even put into words. He loved both of them; with the same intensity but in different colours.

“I am an imperfect human as well. I have many faults which you know. And our love has been put to the hardest test. I am willing to continue, Spock; to go with you on the same path, to remain your bondmate. But you will no longer have my submission. I want love, loyalty, romance, I want you to marry me.”

It hurt, but at the same time it was liberating. To love, just love Leonard. Just that. Perhaps this was how things had to be from the very beginning. Perhaps this was the natural, good order of things.

“I love you, Leonard. And I will spend the rest of my days trying to re-earn my worth in your eyes.”

“Do not say stupid things, Spock. You do not lose your worth when you love someone. Even if it is the wrong someone. Now come with me to Medical, we need to move Scotty and Sarek to their quarters and I cannot do it by myself, they are completely plastered by one another.”

Spock said nothing else anymore. He took Leonard’s hand and walked with him. It took a little convincing and deliberation but finally Sarek agreed to take his Scotty and walk towards their chambers.

“One more thing,” Leonard said. He was sure that Spock had somehow apprised Sarek of the whole discussion. “It is fair that Scotty knows al this too. So be sure to tell him everything, Sarek, or I will.”

“Very well, Leonard. We shall discuss everything as soon as we are alone,” Sarek said softly. He could feel Leonard’s heart-break, as well as that of his own son.

“Discuss what?” Scotty asked, wrapping his arms tight around Sarek’s neck, who was carrying him through the room as soon as they arrived at their quarters. “Take me to bed, already.”

“In due time, Ashayam. There are some very disturbing things you must be made aware of, in order to decide if you still want to be with me.”

“Okay, tell them to me.”

Sarek decided to be brutally brief about everything and not to try and look for explanations.

“I slept with Spock.”

“Now, or back then?”

Sarek froze.

How could he possibly know about _back then_?

“Not _now_. I went through my Time, now, by nearly killing your Captain who provoked me to Kal’if Fee. _Back then._ How did you know, Scotty, about _back then_?”

“You showed me yourself.”

“I Am Sorry?” Sarek exclaimed, looking deeply into his eyes.

“You may have forgotten or perhaps you were not entirely aware, but we melded numerous times, and with each occasion you showed me your entire mind. You do not have any shields when you meld with me.”

Sarek frowned, how could it be so?

He melded with Scotty, carefully monitoring his own shields.

“What is the frequency of the planetary shield of the planet Romulus?” he asked – an important military information which was protected by layers of mental barriers, an information possessed by him and by the Praetor of Romulus himself – by no other.

“16,663.02,” Scotty replied with a smile.

Sarek remained silent for a few moments, evaluating the consequences of such a discovery.

“I slept with Spock, therefore.”

“Okay. And?”

“Are you not upset?”

“No, why?”

Sarek shook his head. It was written in the stars, probably, that this human would forever remain a complete mystery to him.

“If you can see through my mind as if it were a crystal-clear lake, Ashayam… how did you not see that I loved you?”

“Because that is in your heart. And you haven’t showed me your heart until now.”

Sarek felt there were no other words to be spoken after such a statement – true to the last letter; he has used his mind, his instincts maybe; but when was the last time he had actually… used his own heart?

The time to love and feel was now.

 

There had been a wonderful party on New Vulcan, to celebrate the safe return of their King and his new bondmate – one they all loved and cared for, one they were grateful for. And for good reasons. Scotty had already done so much for the planet. And the King seemed to… bloom, simply, like a flower in the warm sun, having found happiness and light and love and the adoration of a being which was nothing less that exceptional.

Scotty had become his usual self: snappish, bossy and ever-chattering, spreading orders around and always carrying tools, cuddling in Anwyll’s lap without feeling he was committing a sacrilege, no matter how Anwyll feared his master’s wrath for how… cuddly Scotty was, not even remembering that there were _touch restrictions_. He doubted that anyone could even attempt to forbid Scotty to do something.

And yet, and yet. When Sarek entered the room, Scotty would drop his tools, would look at him lost, transfixed, as if his own mind and heart momentarily stopped and he needed a moment to restart them. He loved, adored and worshipped him; and it was all the same for him now what Sarek wanted to do.

Because, now, he had seen his heart. And he knew Sarek’s heart belonged to him.

 

Finally better under Chris’ strict hand, recovering his health and strength and after having spent an ample amount of time in Chris’ bed, to his heart’s content, Jim requested his permission to deal with some sensitive matters.

Spock may have lost Leonard’s submission; but Chris had gained Jim’s, apart from his love. Chris was content if Jim asked if he could wear an olive t-shirt and if he ate only what Chris approved. This is how Chris liked things, and Jim was doing them.

“What do you wish to do?”

“I wish to talk to AnJoan Grey.”

Chris was wise enough not to ask what about – he trusted Jim.

But Jim did more than that.

He connected a video-conference to Sarek and Scotty, to Leonard and Spock. And to AnJoan Grey.

“We are here, together, because there is one being who has been wronged – one being who has done everything to remove the veils from our eyes. It took me a while to put all this together, after carefully reading and analysing Scotty, Spock and Leonard’s reports of the facts and after merging the information with what I myself have witnessed. I will ask Lord AnJoan Grey to simply tell us why he has done everything.”

AnJoan – who had been treated by Leonard’s merciful hands and returned to his Home Planet, alone and miserable, seemed even more alone and more miserable right now.

“Speak, my friend. Tell them,” Jim said with all the kindness he was capable of – and it startled AnJoan, for no one had shown him any kindness in a very long time.

“I never wanted to negotiate Sarek’s safety when you arrived at Remus,” he began, with his beautiful, deep, sorrowful voice. "What I was in fact negotiating was his happiness. I see through people just like you see through mirrors. It was enough to see Scotty on the Bridge of the Enterprise to know he was _the one – who – the one who was destined to belong to Sarek of Vulcan_ – and yet he did not belong to him. I asked for Scotty to come and join me on Remus, promising to stop attacking Sarek – just to make Sarek angry and willing to even kill in order to take his mate back. Scotty may testify I had not laid a finger on him.”

Sarek had the strange realisation of the fact that… AnJoan Grey was not the monster he thought him to be. He looked at Scotty.

“Aye. He gave me good food and books and just stayed in the room with me. That was all.”

“I was staying in the same room with him because Remans are dangerous and they cannot stand Human presence. For his protection – but also because I wanted to just… look at someone whom Sarek loved.”

Sarek closed his eyes. It hurt to know that another being loved him to this extent. He did not deserve.

“But when Scotty and you, beautiful King, were reunited, you left pride stand in the way of the right things to say. Humans need to be told you love them; a very natural and basic need. You hesitated, and he left you. He called me as a way to punish himself… or yourself perhaps. He would return to the very person you had defeated to your so-called “rival”, what a greater humiliation?”

Scotty started to cry. He covered his face with his hands.

“It was when I realised that the biggest enemy of all, your common enemy, my dear Humans and Vulcans, is pride. And in order to be in harmony, in order to let love shine, the demon of pride, the most dangerous of all demons, had to be removed as we remove the weed from amongst the roses. I knew you would go through your Time, and therefore I took from you two of the three persons who would have been able to assist you.”

Sarek still cringed when he remembered. He would have wanted to say something harsh –

“Do not speak, Beautiful King,” AnJoan said, using stricter undertones – and Sarek remained quiet – because now was the time to do so. “I took Anwyll and Scotty and remained at their mercy. I never fought back when they attempted to re-take the ship and free themselves – but still, they had no chance to return to you, there was no fuel and I had specifically cut out all communication. They could kill me for all that mattered; but they would remain aboard until someone came to their rescue. I left you to deal with your own demons.”

DEMONS! Sarek’s consciousness screamed.

“When we finally deal with them, it cleanses our soul; it purifies it. It is like an exorcism. We see our own faces, ugly or beautiful or however they are; we accept ourselves, our mistakes; we forgive ourselves. You had to deal with what lay between you and Spock. Otherwise, it would have destroyed you and him and all those around you.”

“It nearly did,” Sarek murmured. “It nearly did.”

“What I had not calculated was James Kirk’s immensely brave and reckless solution. He would not let his friends endure the consequences of your demon’s haunting; he stopped the dark demons in their track and nearly lost his life in order to keep Spock and your honour unstained.”

There was a deep silence. Its echoes reverberated through everyone’s souls.

Leonard took Spock’s hand softly. He knew very well that Spock also needed his submission, to function as a Vulcan – not only his love. And he was now refusing it to him because, well, because – why?

Leonard didn’t know. He was mad at them. Spock would have assisted Sarek.

He would have assisted Sarek because otherwise – life as they knew it would have fallen apart.

The world – their world – could not have existed without Sarek of Vulcan.

It was okay to share Spock’s heart with Sarek. Suddenly, it did not seem so… horrifying.

He turned towards Spock, carefully arranging one rebel lock of hair on his forehead. He caressed his cheeks as if he was slowly reacquainting himself with his features; he was beautiful and strong; and he had been nothing but honest with him.

He lifted Spock’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly – a gesture of love and submission, a gesture of devotion – the promise of a grace to return.

“ _The love that follows us sometime is our trouble, which still we thank as love_ ,” Scotty murmured.  

All eyes turned towards him.

“It is from the book I was reading when Master came to retrieve me from you,” he explained. “ _Macbeth_ by William Shakespeare. Thank you, AnJoan.”

Sarek also smiled and sent a wave of love and gratitude through the low bond he had given to AnJoan Grey upon… defeating him – who had defeated whom?

“For so many years I have considered you my enemy; for so many years you have loved me all the same. I am unworthy of your love, but I shall cherish it until the day I die. Let our bond transform into what it was meant to be from the beginning of time: a friendship bond.

“For you I would do anything,” AnJoan spoke humbly as the bond was transforming and flourishing and allowing him to feel a bit of happiness and hope for the first time ever. "Anything. Anything.”

Anything - because in the darkest hours, love is the only thing which reminds us that we are strong enough to defeat all demons, to surpass all obstacles, to swim through the darkest, most horrible waters.

_I did not know how to swim. But I loved Sarek of Vulcan – and so, I learnt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for having read this story. Send a warm thought towards AnJoan Grey's shattered heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Story by AnJoan Grey


End file.
